OfTheGood Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 Hello Shackers! As per my one of previous posts, my ex and I have been broken up for a month and haven't spoken in one. I still think of her everyday, and realize, fully, that I want her to be my life partner. The lack of contact (including over valentine's day) we have had has been disconcerting, however-I have felt like this is the best thing for me to do personally. There is a part of me-however small-that cries out to be with her; this little part of me says to do "something" to make inroads again. We broke on good terms, and it wasn't until recent that we stopped talking. While I have heard rumors of her going on a date with someone, I fully believe that this may have been a one or twice thing at best, and I fully believe she is NOT seeing anyone exclusively. OK, what my little "friend" proposes is going by one of her close friend's business just to say hi when I'm in the area. Nothing big, just to say hi, maybe have a some 15 minute chit-chat about whatever random things. This friend of hers, and her boyfriend and I are really cool to one each other, and if anything-it will be nice to see them again. I don't know...I was thinking I'd go over there and drop by for a visit on a day off-maybe in nice blazer, looking good (been in the gym lately), and drop the "every thing's good-I'm doing great" line. The goal is to stoke some kind of renewed contact with my ex. This news of this visit is most certainly to get back to her, and she is not the type to get mad or pissy over something like this. This is the first time I have thought to do something like this-but this is a time I have faced losing, for good, someone I have and still REALLY care about. Drastic times? Is my NC telling her I don't care? I'm not sure, but I feel that the longer this goes on-the less chance of a reconciliation. This is what I want. So-now I propose to you, the perennial question. Your opinions?
Darkzen Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 Hello Shackers! As per my one of previous posts, my ex and I have been broken up for a month and haven't spoken in one. I still think of her everyday, and realize, fully, that I want her to be my life partner. The lack of contact (including over valentine's day) we have had has been disconcerting, however-I have felt like this is the best thing for me to do personally. There is a part of me-however small-that cries out to be with her; this little part of me says to do "something" to make inroads again. We broke on good terms, and it wasn't until recent that we stopped talking. While I have heard rumors of her going on a date with someone, I fully believe that this may have been a one or twice thing at best, and I fully believe she is NOT seeing anyone exclusively. OK, what my little "friend" proposes is going by one of her close friend's business just to say hi when I'm in the area. Nothing big, just to say hi, maybe have a some 15 minute chit-chat about whatever random things. This friend of hers, and her boyfriend and I are really cool to one each other, and if anything-it will be nice to see them again. I don't know...I was thinking I'd go over there and drop by for a visit on a day off-maybe in nice blazer, looking good (been in the gym lately), and drop the "every thing's good-I'm doing great" line. The goal is to stoke some kind of renewed contact with my ex. This news of this visit is most certainly to get back to her, and she is not the type to get mad or pissy over something like this. This is the first time I have thought to do something like this-but this is a time I have faced losing, for good, someone I have and still REALLY care about. Drastic times? Is my NC telling her I don't care? I'm not sure, but I feel that the longer this goes on-the less chance of a reconciliation. This is what I want. So-now I propose to you, the perennial question. Your opinions? Hate her, it makes letting go so much easier. Whenever my ex crosses my mind, I remember how much of a jackass she was and think I'm so much better off with out her. That and I found out she is wasting away in front of the computer, playing world of warcraft... she's in a raiding guild, which means she plays 4-6 hours a night, at least 3-4 days a week. Either way, move on... if it was meant to be, it would have been.
Darkzen Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 please give it another shot. Give what another shot? If she was open to the idea of getting back with him, she'd have made some attempts. Don't ask him to look like a fool. Seriously, you broke on good terms. If she had any desire to get back with you, she'd have maintained contact in some manner.
Author OfTheGood Posted February 19, 2008 Author Posted February 19, 2008 Thanks for the response. And thanks for getting my back on the not making me look like a fool thing. We did break on good terms, however-its gonna be impossible to hate her---right now anyway. Perhaps one day I will graduate to that level. I guess its this last month thats gotten to me-we have not spoken for that long. I wish she wasted her life away playing warcraft all day...I think that would make it easier, HAHA!
Author OfTheGood Posted February 19, 2008 Author Posted February 19, 2008 Thanks for the response....what would you suggest?
Miyamoto Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 I say if you're 100% into her, don't half do by using the friends and hoping rumors get back to her. Say you just want to get together for coffee then surprise her with the best date you can possibly think of. But it's not so much the accoutrements as it is showing her the attitude - you're my woman, and I want you, and only you. Give her something unique, based on your experience, that no one else could possibly give. That way, either way she goes, you'll know you did your absolute best, and have nothing to be ashamed of. She might not decide instantly, but she'll remember that no one has ever done this for her before and might never again. That gives you the best chance of winning her heart, I think. Other opinions? I've never been one for subtlety, but maybe that has its place. I would love to hear what others have to say.
Darkzen Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 I say if you're 100% into her, don't half do by using the friends and hoping rumors get back to her. Say you just want to get together for coffee then surprise her with the best date you can possibly think of. But it's not so much the accoutrements as it is showing her the attitude - you're my woman, and I want you, and only you. Give her something unique, based on your experience, that no one else could possibly give. That way, either way she goes, you'll know you did your absolute best, and have nothing to be ashamed of. She might not decide instantly, but she'll remember that no one has ever done this for her before and might never again. That gives you the best chance of winning her heart, I think. Other opinions? I've never been one for subtlety, but maybe that has its place. I would love to hear what others have to say. You don't want someone to be with you for the wrong reasons. Such as buying them, tricking them, playing them, etc... it only leads to trouble down the road. Be yourself and find someone that likes you for the qualities that you do possess. Trust me, if you put on this show of "the best date ever"... you better be willing to do it for as long as you're with her. It's not fair to either of you. As for not hating her, that's cool. I really have no idea why you guys broke up. I was just saying that it's a lot easier if you focus on the negatives. This will allow you to not see the person favorably (and hence not desire to be with them).
ahah2322 Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 i broke up with my bf on good terms too. and i wish he'll show that he wants us to get back together again (if he truly feels that way). sometimes girls are too prideful (cos i know i am); it's always good for one to take the initiative. it's better to die trying than not.
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