Girlfriend still in love with ex

[caesar_d]

Valentine's Day just brings out the best in everyone. Some background info first. I live in L.A., and met my girlfriend 4 months ago while traveling for work in San Francisco. We hit it off and started a long distance relationship. She's 21 and still in school and I'm 30 and working. She was able to visit 1-2 times a month for a week at a time, and I'd be there for a few days the other weeks. The first 3 months were amazing and we both agreed we never felt such an intense connection as we had. Hours and hours on the phone getting to know each other were spent when we weren't together, and the times together were even more intense. Last I saw her was middle of January after she came for 2 weeks for Christmas. Bombshell #1: She went to visit girlfriends one weekend and suddenly decided that she was going to move in with them. Obviously having fun, she didn't get too many chances to talk as much as we had. She'll be even further away from me. Bombshell #2: A family member is ill and she flew out to the East Coast with her mother to support. She says she'll be out there for the month of February and maybe March. Throughout our time together, my feelings became stronger and I entertained the thought of moving to be closer to her. I choose the day after Valentine's Day to gauge where we're at. Turns out she's been thinking about it too. She's still attracted to me, but thinks we were meant to be with other people. There are differences in our personalities(ex: she's a Republican, I'm a Democrat) that she would not want either of us to compromise on and doesn't believe people should change themselves for a mate. The points she made about our differences show immaturity where little things seem to matter, but in the long run do not. On top of it, she says she believes she and her ex were meant to be(even though he's now married). This is a guy she dated(and was going to marry) when she was 15-19 and said she is still not over him. She said there's absolutely no other guy, "it's not you, it's me", wants us to be friends and still talk on the phone as we normally do because we do click so well. Is there any point in trying to convince her otherwise? We had such an intense beginning and depth of feelings. Depth that she claims she thought was there in the moment, but now after thinking about it, was not there. Is this just her being scared that we really can achieve a real meaningful relationship? I know she's only 21 and idealistic, but I really feel we have something that others would be envious of and I looked so hard to find. An amazing friendship and understanding made our physical attraction even that much more intense. Am I being idealistic too? As quickly as I found it, it's quickly trying to go away. A female point of view would be most appreciated along with other opinions.

[caesar_d]

I forgot to add that we're still talking and texting every day since then. She is purposely avoiding any words of sentiment or caring. Our conversations revolve around "facts", like what happened during the day, thoughts on news, etc. It seems very careful not to show any feelings. Am I doomed?