casey001 Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 Heya all Has anyone ever been to councilling over a breakup? Im so down and I just don't know what else to do so I thought I might give councilling ago but just wanted to know if its worth while first? Im at the point where my life is a total mess. I don't really want to live anymore and im really depressed over the whole thing. Im scared a counciller will think im stupid tho as im only young and people go through this all the time but bounce back and get on with life. So please if you have had councilling can you answer whether it was worth while or not! Thanks heaps!!
kitkat82 Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 i've been to councilling over a breakup before. when things ended with my first long term relationship, about 3 years ago, i was such a mess. i felt like i wanted to die, and like i had nothing going right in my life. obviously it wasn't just because of the breakup, but that sent me over the edge. the councilling was the best solution i could have imagined. just having someone to talk to about everything helps, and it helps even more when they're a professional. you need to feel comfortable with your counsellor, and once i visited a counsellor that i really didn't gel with, it was just awkward. but you'll never get someone who would make you feel stupid. just because you're young, and everyone goes through breakups, doesn't minimize how you feel. i strongly recommend you see omeone, it did me wonders!
becauseofyou Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 Counciling can be very beneficial and I think if you are feeling depressed and not wanting to live, you should certainly give it a go. No councilor will think you are stupid, if they do then they are in the wrong job! Just visit a few and find one you are comfortable with. You deserve to feel better about yourself and enjoy your life!
DaisyBelle Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 Hi Casey, Yes, I'm currently seeing a counselor for my break up. It's difficult to explain, but there is something that a good counselor can do for you that can alleviate the pain, which is not to say they wave a magic wand and you suddenly feel better. It's more that the counselor can give you a different perspective. It's different than speaking to a friend, in that your friends are of course always going to console you and tell you things to comfort you, whereas a good counselor will take you through some emotional landmines. It's painful, but oddly helpful. Ironically, finding a good counselor is somewhat like dating: you have to find one that suits you and your personality. I'd recommend you go into finding a counselor with the knowledge that you might have to try two or three (or more) before you find someone you click with. But don't be discouraged. And don't worry. A counselor will NOT make you feel stupid or blow off your emotions. (If they do, you're seeing the wrong one!) Please don't let that fear hold you back from trying to find one. A good one is empathetic without coddling you, and will be forthright with you, but not chastize you. A good one will ask you questions that you think about long after the session is through. I feel just like you do in that I don't want to go on with life and I'm really depressed. But I go into my sessions and just cry and cry and cry and somehow the words that come out in those sessions make me think differently about things. I still am depressed, I still cry, and I know it'll take a long time for the pain to go away, if it ever fully does, but I live for those hours when my counselor listens to me and gives me a different perspective. I wish you well, and really hope you do take the chance to go to counseling.
Author casey001 Posted February 18, 2008 Author Posted February 18, 2008 Thanks soo much!!! What kind of things go on at councilling?? I know a counciller wont think im stupid but im scared of feeling stupid myself! Do lots of people go to councilling to cope with realtionship breakups? Im just not sure what to do anymore and I know I cant go on living my life like this much longer so is a counciller the best option? Thanks!! and sorry for all the crazy questions!
PinkRibbon Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 I see a therapist for me being left by my husband. Not only to help me through this but to help me in any future relationship I may have. I have never been to a therapist so the first few times I went I felt kinda silly but now I look forward to going and telling her everything and crying my eyeballs out. I would really suggest to anyone that is hurt from any type of loss to go see one as long as they can afford to.
kymberann Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 Well I am a therapist and I see people for a multitude of reasons. And sometimes those reasons just compound what is going on at present. Just keep in mind like DaiseyBelle said, there is no magic wand. Just be willing to do the work and feel what is going on. I usually tell people that feelings sometimes have to get worse before they get better in order to move in a certain direction. Sometimes people just get stuck! Also I have been to counseling myself. Several occasions. In fact my ex husband and I went when we were getting divorced to help the process along and in a way to get permission from an outside source. Take the oppertunity, the benefit may outweigh where you are now! Best!
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