suffragette13 Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 Why is he such a dick? I mean, it's like he has literally turned into someone else. WHY did I have sex with him!??? I know this wouldn't be bothering me so much if I hadn't. And yuck, I know he's screwing around with yucky, trashy icky girls probably right this moment. I feel like such an idiot broken record but I just do not comprehend how someone can so abruptly & completely change. He left the life of a well loved, well sexed (yes, we ****ed well and often... until the antidepressants and then he couldn't anymore), pampered Dad to live in one room of a ****hole apartment in the middle of nowhere with these lowlifes for friends. I called, emailed and texted him today trying to get him t o spend some time with his children. It has been nearly three weeks since he has seen them. He doesn't call, no Valentine's day cards for his daughter, no emails, no little toys or gifts... nothing. I spent all day with them and I thought to myself, ""There is no where else I would rather be... than right here, right now, with them..."Who is better in this world than a precious, AMAZING, innocent person who kisses you and draws you pictures and totally enjoys the most simple pleasures? All of the hilarious **** they say, how bright they are, the way they laugh so fully, it's all down to me, it makes my heart feel like it will burst sometimes. I wish I loved ice cream -- I wish I loved ANYTHING--like my kids do. He does NOT want them. He does NOT want to spend time with them. He uses them to have wars with me but when he has the chance, he opts not to be with them. I know in retrospect that that is why he left, because he didn;t want the responsibility and pressure of this life with them anymore. I have no idea what it is that he is doing. I like sex and that thrill of new love and **** as much as the next person but I really do love my children more. They are my immortality. I can't be sure about what comes next... all I know is that they are what will be left of me... and of him. But he is cruelly, deliberately turning his back on me... and that hurts... but them? and it's just utterly confounding. I spend my days distracting them, never mentioning him, reassuring them that he is busy and that he loves them so much and that he would be with them in a heartbeat if he could... and I am lying. He is paying me to be rid of us. He reminds me of those tomcats who eat their kittens.
Miyamoto Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 I just wanted to say that it's ok to be angry. Many people don't understand the lashing out, but I do. You have to do it. If you wanna keep posting, I will be your Board Friend and always answer. This guy is an @$$hole. Up this post, so someone with experience with kids in a relationship can help Suff.
Author suffragette13 Posted February 19, 2008 Author Posted February 19, 2008 thank you so much for your support. my ex is setting records for new lows. if I try to discuss any of this with him, get any kind of closure or reach some kind of compromise so that I can at least stand to talk to him, he threatens to leave the country or explains to me like I'm the reason why he never speaks to or sees his kids, because he hates me basically-- and seeing them means he has to deal with me. I know I am bitter and I know I am no fun but having anyone say it's ok means more to me than you can know.
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