PerfectXPretty Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 Laura: :-P Half hour later he doesn’t answer.. Laura: Wow is this how its gonna be .. we spend the whole weekend together have a great time and I come back to you ignoring me. Jon: You know what.. I enjoyed the concert and being away from home but you always seem to ruin that. .I had my f'ing phone on silent so f*** off. I’m done with your ****. Go f'in find someone else and ruin their life Laura: you are so f'in selfish everything is about you.. oh look its about you again cant take my feelings into consideration ever. You appreciate nothing. I have never done anything to you so blame yourself. You seriously have issues. Jon: Leave me the f*** alone Laura: Everyone is right about you .. you don’t treat me right at all. You treat someone else like s**t but im not taking it anymore. Its never enough you get everything you want and you still treat me like dirt. Jon: Good be with them I could care less Laura: Glad you admitted you didn’t give a f*** your so careless Laura: Stop blaming me. Maybe if you actually put effort into this we wouldn’t be in this position. But no you only care about yourself. Its life not world of warcraft. Jon: Oh well Laura: You are so shallow. I don’t deserve this s***. What goes around comes around. Im too nice for you. .. and no response.. This is the guy i've been with for 3 years, he says i ruin everything for him but yet he's the one doing this to me. Down to 2-3 days a week of hangingout he gets everything he wants out of this relationship - but he alwayas makes me feel WRONG - it finally over .. why do i feel so bad? This is all texts but i had written it down to see if anyone can help me out here.. i wish i didnt care about this guy so much.. he's never even there for me ever.. he's all about himself.. how do i get over him.. is he the problem?..
s_n_d Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 It doesnt matter who was at fault. That does not matter anymore. Nothing can take back the past.
Author PerfectXPretty Posted February 18, 2008 Author Posted February 18, 2008 We just broke up tonight... I stuck up for myself instead of being his doormat...
s_n_d Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 You need to let it be and not dwell on who is at fault. I know how hard it is..We all do. But you have to be strong. He is a jerk and you dont deserve that in your life.
sedgwick Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 Are you having this whole conversation via text or IM? YOU CANNOT ADEQUATELY COMMUNICATE THROUGH SMILIES, I'm sorry. You must speak to each other, at the very least on the phone! I can't imagine cursing at someone by text or IM. You can't resolve anything if you're not actually speaking. EDIT: Just saw you broke up...good for you for standing up for yourself. How are you?
Author PerfectXPretty Posted February 18, 2008 Author Posted February 18, 2008 He never talks to me about ANYTHING .. his way of communicating is ALWAYS through text messaging .. its UNBELIEVABLE .. He's addicted to world of warcraft & blames everything on me when its HIM.. go figure right.. I'm pretty upset..
Darkzen Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 I'd say he's got some problems. I used to escape into video games when I was having life problems, it only made things worse. Other than that, can't really say whose fault it was. I don't know the whole story. I'm sure both of you guys carry the blame. I can tell you right now that you cannot decide to change one day and expect someone to be cool with it. Maybe you shouldn't be a doormat from day 1 in the future, that way there's no surprises for your partner. I'm sure he didn't act like a video game addict when you first started dating either. So like I said, the blame is probably equal. I think that's the primary reason most relationships fail. People put on this facade of who they really are. Then down the line, the facade drops and your SO is like "WTF?".
Author PerfectXPretty Posted February 18, 2008 Author Posted February 18, 2008 His Grandfather is always on his own computer when i go over, his father is always on his own computer when i go over - his mother is always on her laptop ... & His grandfather & father are ALWAYS on ONLINE games like he is... I've talked to him about this PLENTY of times.... GAVE HIM chance after chance.. we've broken up a couple of times BECAUSE of this issue.. I've had deaths in the family to where he just wouldnt be there.. even towards the beginning.. I guess my only fault is allowing it for so long and not ending it sooner but i TRIED .. i put my ALL into this.. I put the work and effort into this relationship..
Cool Chick Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 I'm so sorry to read this. He sure doesn't treat you very well does he? man it's hard breaking the attachment to someone you care about but I think you'd be better off without him. At least then you could go to the concerts/movies with your friends and not have to deal with the guilt trip he lays on you afterwards. Cool Chick
Author PerfectXPretty Posted February 18, 2008 Author Posted February 18, 2008 Pretty much... I mean pretty well a month ago January 6th he told me he needed space - so i gave him space .. & then over the weekend i told him i cant live like this anymore seeing him 2 days a week - I dont have to see someone everyday but 2 days doesnt cut it - And the fact that its not the first time he's told me that i ruin everything.. but really i dont.. if i did i wouldnt have friends - i have plenty more friends than he has.. I'm not a bad person i just tell him when he isnt treating me right or what i need. Its a one way street with this guy .. I have a brother with drug problems & he tells me " its not your problem " and isnt even there for me with that.. I hope one day i can convince myself that i dont need him.. If he thinks i'm the type to just be bought to be happy he's wrong.. He must think i'm really ungreatful after getting me a nice everday ring for valentines day/ birthday but i got him something & it shouldnt even matter but i'm sure he'll be like ' oh well i bought you this' thats how he is.. I"m not the type to be BOUGHT .. sorry just rambling..
Author PerfectXPretty Posted February 18, 2008 Author Posted February 18, 2008 I need all the help i can get i feel so down today
Darkzen Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 His Grandfather is always on his own computer when i go over, his father is always on his own computer when i go over - his mother is always on her laptop ... & His grandfather & father are ALWAYS on ONLINE games like he is... I've talked to him about this PLENTY of times.... GAVE HIM chance after chance.. we've broken up a couple of times BECAUSE of this issue.. I've had deaths in the family to where he just wouldnt be there.. even towards the beginning.. I guess my only fault is allowing it for so long and not ending it sooner but i TRIED .. i put my ALL into this.. I put the work and effort into this relationship.. Don't take that approach. It sounds like both of you weren't honest and/or forth-coming when you two got together. It sounds like you accepted his deficiencies in the beginning, thinking he'd get better or you could change him. Although, because you didn't begin the relationship standing up for yourself, he became accustomed to you being submissive. Trust me, things would have been a lot different if you didn't accept his ways in the beginning. Whether it meant you'd have broken up a long time ago or you'd have shown him that he had to put in effort to hold onto you. You cannot force others to change. Trying to do so only leads to strife and conflict. People do change though and as they change, they out grow things. That's what happened here. You changed, wanting him to be more than he was. He's wasn't willing to compromise, so it's time to move on. End of story. As for time and effort, you're preaching to the choir, take it as a learning experience... a means to an end. Learn from the mistakes you made and attempt to not make them again. Just as he'll eventually learn that he wasted a good portion of his life inside a virtual world. He's not ready to change yet, so there's nothing you can do, except move on. P.S. I'm a guy, so my perspective is a bit skewed, but you should really be happy seeing someone twice a week. Spending too much time together can be worse than too little. Be your own person, do your own thing and meet in the middle somewhere.
Author PerfectXPretty Posted February 18, 2008 Author Posted February 18, 2008 I probably became more submissive with accepting who he was but at the same time he's become more comfortable & i became the door mat.. I believe this is his selfish side & with me being unselfish it destroyed me. Thanks for the help.. Anymore words of encouragement?
sedgwick Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 Did you go watch that episode of Intervention about the video game addict guy? I want to know what you thought about it.
Art_Critic Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 I stuck up for myself instead of being his doormat... I realize that there is more to this story than the text message.. Not answering your text is treating you like a doormat ?.. then you text him a message about ignoring you and him ruining everything and you expect him to not come unglued on you ?... It seems to me that his reaction to your text was anger.. it shouldn't have been.. but then you went off on him over the text not being replied to fast enough, anger as well... you both are angry at each other.. Maybe it is time for you both to split off from one another.. He doesn't seem to respect you and you don't seem to respect him... Sorry...
SadShamrock Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 There is such an emotional disconnect when communication is through text messages or IM. Maybe it easier for him to communicate this way for that reason. It sounds like you were upset with him way before the interaction that you shared with us. It is hard to say whose fault it is. Although- I think you deserve better. It sounds like he didn't offer any kind of emotional support- at least not enough. It sucks when you look for comfort from the one person who is incapable of giving it. You want/need more than what he is able to offer you emotionally- that seems blatantly obvious in your posts. So I say blame him for being emotionally retarded! Maybe he is/ maybe he isn't- but if you convince yourself of that- than you'll feel better for now at least (I am being somewhat facetious but sometimes you just need to convince yourself the other person is wrong, too). Good luck.
Author PerfectXPretty Posted February 19, 2008 Author Posted February 19, 2008 Well considering he has been playing this ' not answring' my text game for the past week i got fed up and actually said something..
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