nickilovespookie Posted February 17, 2008 Posted February 17, 2008 (edited) Hello, thanks for reading. I have a problem. I have been dating my bf for 3 years. We've lived together for 2. Everything was great, I was happy, he was happy, blah blah. But recently, about a month ago, an outside guy caught my attention. I think a big factor in this other guy getting my attention is the fact that my bf never made time for us. He's a very motivated person, always keeping busy and enjoying his time, fishing, hunting, etc. So I think this other guy got my attention due to my bf's lack of. That's the only problem that I ever have had with my bf. We get along great and have gotten to be very close. Through my relationship with my bf I was a great gf. I was loyal, fun, everything that a guy could want really, I was really in love with my bf. I knew that we were made for eachother, I knew all along that we would get married someday and have kids. My bf would make a great father and husband. Really, a good guy. Long story short, I'm having second thoughts about settling down with my bf. I've been finding myself wondering about other men, wanting to just meet people etc. But here's the catch, I'm not really a dater. I don't really like the dating game, I like knowing I have someone at home waiting for me. I'm just worried that since I've never dated around I'm going to wonder later what if. I'm 23 and my bf is 29. I've had 3 serious boyfriends (serious meaning slept together) and NEVER dated. The biggest problem is that I don't get very turned on by him anymore. The sex is great once we're doing it and it always feels great after but I just don't feel that spark, or get the urge to kiss him anymore. Maybe it's just because we've been together so long that the passion is gone or something else, I'm not sure. I know I don't want to hurt my boyfriend nor do I want to loose him but these feelings are bothering me. I keep thinking that they'll just go away like this is a phase. That's what I hope. I know that I'll never find anyone that I am more compatible with and he loves me very much. So why are other guys catching my eye? Edited February 17, 2008 by nickilovespookie
Peter_pan Posted February 17, 2008 Posted February 17, 2008 sadly people grow apart thats what happened with me and my ex. but please for this nice guys own sanity dont do what my gf of 3 yrs months did with me (yes she to talked about babies etc) do not grab hold of the new guy then let go of him and not let him know about it. I had to write a letter an email and constant arguing to get the truth out of her and i am deeply upset she has a new man. she to got that feeling, and is now with bf no2. she probably feels she needs to experience more to life. remember the grass isnt always greener. and you and your current bf need to talk about stuff. talk about why you think its gotten boring. try and sort things out. if it dosnt work and you both admit its probably for the best to part then so be it. dont carry on ANY relationship if you are unsure or are having doubts. you will honestly only hurt yourself even if he is a nice guy. my ex was an AMAZING girl but in the end she was the one that hurt me even though i hadnt left her in the past because i didnt want to hurt her.... this is a good read >> http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_do_you_know_if_you_have_lost_feelings_for_someone
soconfused01 Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 I'm feeling this way in my relationship too so I'm not sure if I can help exactly. My bf has been with tons of girls, and I've only been with him. Now, you know more than me on this. Think about the guys you had sex with before your current boyfriend. Now think about if your guy had been your first. Now think back to before you started having these doubts and the man your guy is. If you still felt the same way about him that you used to, would you sacrifice the experiences you had with other people for him? If you say yes, then there is a chance you will think this after you've 'seen what's out there'. it really struck me when the previous poster said 'the grass isn't always greener'. The really ****ed up part is that neither you or I have a crystal ball and some doors you can't go back through. whats been helping me is that I don't have to decide right away and I'm guessing you don't either. take your time. My bf's older than me too and ready-er to settle down and I feel trapped at times. But I know he's not getting married to anyone in the next year, so it helps that trapped feeling. talk with him and address your feelings of being neglected. who knows? it's likely you just miss him and are projecting your feelings of desire onto an idea of more attention, not necessarily another person, especially if you don't know the guy that well. (been there!)
Author nickilovespookie Posted February 18, 2008 Author Posted February 18, 2008 I guess the biggest problem here is that all of a sudden I'm picturing myself with other men. Not just sleeping with them but just being with them at a bar or something. Like on a date. I've never been like this before and I think it has something to do with my friends being single.
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