BalancenLuv20 Posted February 17, 2008 Posted February 17, 2008 My ex and I have been broken up for about 5 months now. A mutual friend about a month ago showed me a pic of her cuddling with another guy which was dated at the same time we were going out and I was pretty torn apart by it so I wrote her a nasty e-mail and she said she never cheated on me, the pic meant nothing, and that because of my e-mail she now wanted me out of her life completely. 2 weeks later I found a binder we had put pics of each other in and I smiled seeing her face and not being able to resist, I called her and apologized for the e-mail and she agreed to meet up and talk. We talked and I told her I wanted to just have a good time with her and put the past away and she said she didn't know if she could do that and just wanted to make sure that I knew she didn't cheat on me and that she didn't want any bad feelings between us. She also kept asking me who the mutual friend was and trying to convince me to trust her, and I told her I couldn't do that. It was an awkward encounter and there was a lot of awkward silence. Finally I just said I'm going to go, I gave her a big hug and left. About a week later, I called and asked if she wanted to get dinner sometime soon. She said she'd call back later that night and of course as she's done before in the past, she didn't. I felt like an itiot and the realization sank in that she has been half-@$$ing her efforts in the restoration of our friendship for the last few months now and I was stupid for trying to make things work between us. She called on valentines day about a week and a half after she forgot to call me back and left a message saying that she wishes me a happy valentines day. I thought it was a bit odd with a bf who she loves to death and that her previous actions have indicated to me that she doesn't care about me very much anymore that she'd call me on Valentines day of all days(anyone want to take a stab at that?) but like I said I let the phone ring and for the first time since we've ended it, didn't answer the phone. I've made a lot of progress in my coping period and no longer worry about what goes on in her life. For the longest time, I felt inclined to web stalk her and it just made me feel dismal inside everytime I did it. At this point I am kind of in a crossroads. I have no problem going NC, but at the same time she is a wonderful human being who has a lot of redeeming qualities and part of me wants to be in her life and see her continue to grow as a beautiful young woman. I also am worried that if I dropped out of her life for a long time, I could never be friends with her if I ever decided to because I would be a shining example of her father who abandoned her when she was younger and it really hit her hard and is something she is still sad over to this day. So should I call her, tell her how I feel and see what she has to say? or block her out of my life completely and ignore any of her calls or pursuits? Thanks, Chris
Peter_pan Posted February 17, 2008 Posted February 17, 2008 well because it was V day she obviously remembered about you so thats why she called. she dosnt have feelings for you and to be honest it is impossible to love someone that dosnt love you back. i learnt that the hard way. just wish her good luck and move on with your life. you only get one.... dont waste time on her anymore. let her know you care and would always be there if she needed to talk. and move on its hard but "such is life"
norajane Posted February 17, 2008 Posted February 17, 2008 You're not abandoning her like her father did. She broke up with you. Totally different. You should move on. There are girls out there who actually would enjoy being with you. Why get stuck in the mud waiting for a girl who doesn't want to date you?
Miyamoto Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 she'd call me on Valentines day of all days(anyone want to take a stab at that?) That's easy. If women see they have you on a string, they like to kick you every now and then. Just the fact you're thinking about them gives them such an ego boost. Cut this #*@($ loose. She doesn't care about you.
PerfectXPretty Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 Dont even bother with that.. im sure you can find someone a whole lot better
Author BalancenLuv20 Posted February 19, 2008 Author Posted February 19, 2008 Thx so much everyone...I have cutoff contact and unless she calls crying her eyeballs out one day in which case i'll tell her i'm gone from the picture...I will continue to keep things that way...thanks again...
Author BalancenLuv20 Posted February 19, 2008 Author Posted February 19, 2008 You're not abandoning her like her father did. She broke up with you. Totally different. You should move on. There are girls out there who actually would enjoy being with you. Why get stuck in the mud waiting for a girl who doesn't want to date you? Actually I broke up with her, but your point is well taken...
Miyamoto Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 At this point I am kind of in a crossroads. I have no problem going NC, but at the same time she is a wonderful human being who has a lot of redeeming qualities and part of me wants to be in her life and see her continue to grow as a beautiful young woman. I also am worried that if I dropped out of her life for a long time, I could never be friends with her if I ever decided to because I would be a shining example of her father who abandoned her when she was younger and it really hit her hard and is something she is still sad over to this day. So should I call her, tell her how I feel and see what she has to say? or block her out of my life completely and ignore any of her calls or pursuits? Thanks, Chris Another example of an upstanding young man trying to be a gentleman to a girl who doesn't deserve a gentleman. I say ignore, but you're not going to do that. In which case, be true to yourself.
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