PerfectLee Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 If you're married, you probably already know what this is about.... A Fight. My GF & I are engaged, have been together for 3 years. From day one her mom and I have become very close. My mother died over 12 years ago and it was a dream come true that my GF had a mom similiar to mine. We go shopping together, we talk on the phone occasionally, cook together, etc... I encourage my GF to spend time with her as well, because I know too well how a mother can be here one moment, and gone the next. While shopping the other day, my GF & I got into a misunderstanding and little did I know that her mother overheard just half of it. I made a statement about how I had to get home relatively soon to finish some homework I had (I returned to college after 10 years-I'm very excited, but this was the only part my GF's mom overheard) Then, my GF interpreted that statement as if I was trying to tell them to hurry up and she thought I was trying to make her feel bad for "dragging" me out of the house. Looking back, I shouldn't have said it at the time I did, but I meant no ill-intent by it. I was worried about a few assignments I had but that's no one's problem but my own. I explained it to my GF and after a while we agreed that we were both at fault. Problem solved? No way. Because her mom only heard what I said, so she picked a fight w/me as well. Even after trying to explain my intentions & after my GF told her we were both at fault, her mom went crazy. She called me and cussed me out about how immature I am, how I'm an adult and my homework is my business etc. I tried to explain to her that I considered her my mom & that I meant no harm in what I said & I was sorry. I said, "You know I consider you my mother, I mean...I don't have one, and I would never do anything to make you feel uncomfortable on purpose." Out of anger she says "I don't give a F*CK about your mother!" I think that her mom is very hurt by my comment about the time, & after 3 years of knowing me I would think that they would know I wasn't trying to be malicious or selfish. I go to school everyday so it wasn't a time management issue, I'm very good about managing my time. They also said they were only going to be out for a few hours and it turned out to be the whole day. So was I really wrong in mentioning the time? Should I have just shut my mouth and somehow do homework whenever I got home? It's caused her mom to stop talking to the both of us. My GF got mad at her because after the fight was over, her mom told the rest of the family and completely embarrassed us. (her side of the story only of course) My GF & her mom just developed a great relationship about 3 years ago, when she met me, & now it feels like she's starting from square one. In a sense, I feel like I've lost a 2nd mother. I have also lost much respect for her, but I will never mention that. I know she loves us both and wants us to be together, but I think she took it wayyyyy too far. How do you deal with a mother-in-law? This fight was not normal, we've been getting along for the last 3 years just perfect. I'm scared this stupid fight is going to change everything, & I'm especially concerned for the relationship my GF & her mom have recently developed.
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