prisonbreak Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 Finally SOMETHING. I couldn't believe that after 19 days he still hadn't contacted me some how. I woke up this morning and noticed I had 2 text messages. I was still a bit sleepy so it didn't register. The 1st one was at 2 am and said "Are you awake?". The 2nd was at 7:30 am saying "I wasn't joking, come over and hang out with me". I deleted his # from my phone, so I didn't think for 1 sec it was him. Then I stared at it and realized it was him. What? Come hang out with you at 7:30 in the morning? That's dumb. Actually, that's just LAME. Ok, I must admit, deep down I'm thinking, awe...with a huge sigh of relief. Something!, he does think of me. Ok, after that thought, a million more came racing in. As we all know on here, I want him back desparately. I don't want to be friends. I don't want contact, I want to try to move on with my life if he doesn't want to be in it. We were engaged. He moved out Dec 1st. He text me a month ago just like he did this morning. Only that time I ran over there. When I left, he basically told me nothing had changed and we still were not getting back together. I was so sad. We still had contact on and off. We ended up spending New Years Eve together, but the next day I was a wreck and he was just fine. We ended up going on a trip to MX in the end of Jan. After he dropped me off from the airport, we haven't talked since. So weird, I know. So I know I'm not falling for anymore of this half ass contact. Now, I'm only going to put myself out there if I hear the words I've been longing to hear, "I love you, I want you and I'm back." I am not settling for anything less, because I know the other way doesn't work. I tried and only kept getting hurt. Remember, I'm the one who efed up the relationship, but that was over 6 months ago. He has been stringing me along since then. I guess I'm telling you all (about the contact) because some of you on here may be following my story. I am not sure if and how I should respond. I don't want to be mean. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Dfreeman, Sed, where are you????????????? And oh, I've got to mention, V-day was so hard for me, cause that was the day I had given up all hope. I said to myself, that's it, it's done, no more hope. And I have a date tonight! A little to ironic, the day after I give up hope, have a date, I get contact!!!!
Peter_pan Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 hey, well i would say well done with the 19days of NC. did you ever ever get closure? seriously NC i the best thing, he is just wanting to know that you are still there in his life and once you txt him back he will be like "yep thats her all over, i can get her to talk to me when ever i want". then he will go back with not caring about you again. the best thing to do is to have NC but before you do that you have to be true to yourself. so contact him one more time if you like and say that for your own good i am not going to have any contact with you because its to hard. but once i have moved on then sure contact wont be an issue. And leave it there. Its what i have done to my ex gf who didn't want me back basically because she wanted someone new. hope this helps
eagle5 Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 Pb keep going, you are doing exactly what's right for YOU, like you say unless he's declaring his love for you, you won't hang out together............. Do you realise the wonderful thing about that statement? Well YOU made that decision, you have that element of control in your life, so what! if he wants friendship, that would be detrimental to you, this is YOUR nc with YOUR rules.. You're winning slowly but surely......and you are the important one here.
s_n_d Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 Dont break NC. Youve come too far to break it over a couple of text messages that he probably sent to check up and see if you are okay. Break it ONLY if he tells you he loves you and wants you back. Do NOT settle for anything less. He will keep contacting you if he still loves you.. My guess is if you reply to his text messages, he wont reply at all or he will reply and then ignore you for another 19 days. You deserve WAY better than that. Keep up the NC!!
Author prisonbreak Posted February 16, 2008 Author Posted February 16, 2008 Peter Pan- No I never got closure. We gave hugs after he droped me off from the airport. I just got the feeling over the trip we were on 2 different pages. I told myself I wasn't going to contact him anymore after that trip. He never contacted me either. Then nothing over V-day, so it was really a slap in the face. I wanted closure, but the silence from him was enough for me to know. I totally agree with you, that if I do contact him, he'll be like, Yep, she's there. Eagle- Thanks, you are so right. A lot of my pain has been that all this has been out of MY control. I tried to make him love me, but I couldn't. Before this trip, I hit the gym, ran, and lifted. I got a pedicure and even got things waxed...ouch! I bought the cutest clothes and the hottest bikini and I must say, I looked darn good. But it was all for nothing, cause I was doing it for HIM. It wasn't good enough. Now, I'm doing these things for MYSELF. From the begining, I've been going to counseling and reading and journaling, those things I always did for myself. But the outside things were not enough. He knews about the work I was doing on the inside too. He told me, "All this learning and growing your doing is good and I want to benefit from it, not some other guy." I believed him, but like I said, his silence spoke louder than words. SND- Thanks, you are soooooooooo right. I'm not going to break contact for a few little breadcrumbs. It has been this way for 2 1/2 months now, where I fall for that little bone he throws me. I have a boxer, she is the cutest things ever and such a good dog. When she was little, everytime she'd go in her kennel, when it was time for me to leave, I'd give her a bone. Now I only give her a bone every once in a while. Now, after 2 yrs. she still runs to her kennel in hopes for that bone. She lives for that bone! So, I've been living for "My bone" for the past 2 months. A text here, a call there, something, anything to show me he cares. Well, I'm sick of him tossing me a bone, to keep me waiting. He can stick his bone up his ass. Now I finally get it, what NC is really for. I can't spiral down again. I owe it to myself and my 2 boys. Thanks all for your love and support. I'll keep ya posted!!!!
s_n_d Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 AMEN to that analogy you just made. All we can really do is pray at hard times like these and try to get our lives back on track.
dfreeman Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 ...and now I have to run out - i'll post tonight. sorry, dfree
Peter_pan Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 yep you are defiantly doing the right thing with sticking to NC. damn straight he can stick that bone somewhere he wouldnt really want it
micahmo77 Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 Hey prison, as you know you and I have pretty close to the same situation. I just want to say that either way, half ass contact or not. Im happy that you got that sigh of relief. Im sure either way you do feel better in a way, thats what counts, your heart feels alittle more at rest. I do hope however that he gives you the words your wanting to hear. Maybe alittle more time or just telling him how you feel might make that difference. Maybe tell him if your willing to give you the words your wanting to hear than your moving forward without him. Goodluck my friend!
sedgwick Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 Wow, that's some lame-ass contact. You haven't talked in almost three weeks, HE left YOU, and he wants you to come hang out with him at 7:30 in the morning? HUH? If you have not yet told him that the only thing you want to hear is "I love you and want to be with you," I'd suggest telling him that, without any reference to the text messages. Must be nice though...I'd give anything to hear from mine again someday.
norajane Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 2am booty call. Maybe he dialed someone else after, and when she left that morning, he dialed you again for more booty call. Or he was trying to backtrack and hide the fact that he made a booty call at 2am. Maybe that's not it, but it definitely wasn't "I love you and want you back." Forget him. He didn't treat you well at the ending, and he's not worth taking back even if he were asking, which he isn't.
Author prisonbreak Posted February 17, 2008 Author Posted February 17, 2008 Oh, 1 more thing...Should i ignore this one too or respond? I'd feel kinda bad not caring about his new medication.
Far Behind Posted February 17, 2008 Posted February 17, 2008 As hard as it would be for me to do, I would almost say keep ignoring...he should, as you said, man-up and call you rather than text. I hope IF the time comes, I can follow my own advice, lol.
sedgwick Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 If he truly knows that you love him and want him back, he should know that contacting you before he's ready to commit to that can only hurt you. He gave up the right to be part of your life when he left you. I say keep up the NC.
dfreeman Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 Thanks all for your love and support. I'll keep ya posted!!!! Hi pb, I never got back on this one...how did things turn out?
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