Ruby Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 (edited) On Valentines day my boyfriend turned up at my house with a beautiful bouquet of roses and lillies and a bottle of my favorite perfume and took me to a very expensive restaurant. He then started bitching at me as I couldnt eat my lamb as rare as it turned up and I ended up walking out of the restaurant as he was getting pickier and pickier. What a horrible end to a lovely night! I didn't start this at all, in fact I was trying to pacify with his nit picking until I couldn't pacify anymore! I tried calling him yesterday and he rejected my call! What do I do here? Edited February 16, 2008 by Ruby
climbergirl Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 Ruby-is this the 'silent treatment' guy? If it is, how has it been going with him since the break up? Has he changed his behavior at all?
birdie Posted February 17, 2008 Posted February 17, 2008 I'd say he tried really hard - maybe a bit too hard for his own comfort - to make Valentine's special and he blew his top over something small. Give him some time. You tried to contact him, let him come to you now. I'd imagine he is feeling a bit foolish
Walk Posted February 17, 2008 Posted February 17, 2008 I think the two of you don't communicate well. He seemed to have a different idea of how the dinner would go, and didn't want to hear that something wasn't perfect. On the one hand, I can kind of understand the idea that he might have been upset that you didn't like the lamb. He went out of his way to create a special night, and it might seem as if he couldn't do anything right because you didn't like the lamb. On the other hand, he created an unreasonable expectation for how the night would go, and I highly doubt you could've made it through the whole night without making him upset at some point. He seems to have a very set idea about how life will proceed, and if anything infringes on that then he gets pissy and takes it out on you. His ideals are not taking YOU into consideration. He see's what he wants things to be like without understanding you or how you feel about things. Personal, I think you two are different enough in how you communicate that you probably shouldn't date. Not unless both of you are willing to put in over time in learning how to better communicate with each other. If this is the same guy from your previous posts, then I honestly don't think he's going to want to put forth the effort to learn how to communicate better with you.
amerikajin Posted February 17, 2008 Posted February 17, 2008 On Valentines day my boyfriend turned up at my house with a beautiful bouquet of roses and lillies and a bottle of my favorite perfume and took me to a very expensive restaurant. He then started bitching at me as I couldnt eat my lamb as rare as it turned up and I ended up walking out of the restaurant as he was getting pickier and pickier. What a horrible end to a lovely night! I didn't start this at all, in fact I was trying to pacify with his nit picking until I couldn't pacify anymore! I tried calling him yesterday and he rejected my call! What do I do here? The guy's a pretentious tosser. He made such an effort to show his love for you by showering you with expensive gifts and a fancy dinner, as if that's what really matters in a relationship. Clearly that tells you what he knows about relationships - which is next to nothing. He doesn't feel confident about what he, himself, brings to the table in your relationship, so he has to go out and get materialistic with you. And so when you don't show obvious appreciation for it, he flips out because those are the kinds of things that add value to the relationship in his opinion (I don't know if I'm making sense). Point is, a normal, well-adjusted man would have just taken you to a less expensive restaurant and not worried so much about whether you liked your lamb or not. Though I have to ask, just out of curiosity, you're not one of these picky, picky eaters, are you? I agree with the previous poster. Sounds like there are communication issues and either you resolve them or find someone else. p.s. Where do you live in California again? Umm, a friend wants to know.
Replicant Posted February 17, 2008 Posted February 17, 2008 What do I do here? You didn't finish your lamb!? Giving him mind blowing post Valentines make up sex would be the best solution to this problem then!
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