4givrnt4gtr Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 Sometimes i wonder about myself.... I did something stupid, that is making me feel like ****.... Ive been so stressed about the situation with my bf (vday bs bassically, and how it relates to my relationship, all about it in the thread before this one) Anyway, i got a free psychic reading (i know retarded), so just for fun I asked about my R. I ask to tell me about my R....the guy immediately told me my bf was slow when it comes to R and that it seemed very one sided. That my bf was never gonna be able to give me what i wanted bc he just couldnt and that if i continued in it he would end up breaking it off by the end of summer anyway. He told me I needed to speak up otherwise i would always end up in r like this one, but that this one had no salvation and that my bf was just going thru the moves without much thought or feeling. It all sounded so true and hurt I know its retardedd since its just a psychic reading....but still it made me feel like **** and that i am wasting my time. I feel like an idiot for thinking of breaking up with my bf that i love just cuz a psychic told me it was the best choice..since this r wasnt gonna go anywhere. God i feel stupid. What do u guys think?
Phateless Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 Do a google search for "cold reading" and then see if you still believe the psychic.
Phateless Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 Cold reading is a technique often used by mentalists, fortune tellers, and others posing as psychics and mediums to determine details about a subject through analysis of their body language, appearance and responses to questioning. Even without prior knowledge of a person, a practiced cold reader could obtain a great deal of information about the subject by carefully analyzing that person's body language, clothing, hairstyle, gender, sexual orientation, religion, race or ethnicity, level of education, manner of speech, place of origin, etc. Cold readers often start by making broad guesses and will refine their statements based on clues supplied by the subject, abandoning any incorrect guesses while reinforcing any chance connections the subject acknowledges. There you have it.
Ocean-Blue Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 Sometimes i wonder about myself.... I did something stupid, that is making me feel like ****.... Ive been so stressed about the situation with my bf (vday bs bassically, and how it relates to my relationship, all about it in the thread before this one) Anyway, i got a free psychic reading (i know retarded), so just for fun I asked about my R. I ask to tell me about my R....the guy immediately told me my bf was slow when it comes to R and that it seemed very one sided. That my bf was never gonna be able to give me what i wanted bc he just couldnt and that if i continued in it he would end up breaking it off by the end of summer anyway. He told me I needed to speak up otherwise i would always end up in r like this one, but that this one had no salvation and that my bf was just going thru the moves without much thought or feeling. It all sounded so true and hurt I know its retardedd since its just a psychic reading....but still it made me feel like **** and that i am wasting my time. I feel like an idiot for thinking of breaking up with my bf that i love just cuz a psychic told me it was the best choice..since this r wasnt gonna go anywhere. God i feel stupid. What do u guys think? You were having concerns about your relationship before seeing the psychic, no? Whatever this person told you validated your feelings regarding the relationship. I wouldn't worry too much about the fact that you allowed the reading to upset you...instead, ask yourself why it is affecting you. You need to figure out if you want to be with this guy (I've read your other thread). Sometimes, it's easy to find fault with someone when you're looking for it. Then there are times when we turn a blind eye to anything and everything because we are hopelessly in love. Which is it for you? Is he a generally nice guy (someone you hope to have a future with) that just happened to annoy you because of his occasional slip-ups OR is he a generally inconsiderate man who has yet to really show you affection and care?
Phateless Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 You were having concerns about your relationship before seeing the psychic, no? Whatever this person told you validated your feelings regarding the relationship. I wouldn't worry too much about the fact that you allowed the reading to upset you...instead, ask yourself why it is affecting you. You need to figure out if you want to be with this guy (I've read your other thread). Sometimes, it's easy to find fault with someone when you're looking for it. Then there are times when we turn a blind eye to anything and everything because we are hopelessly in love. Which is it for you? Is he a generally nice guy (someone you hope to have a future with) that just happened to annoy you because of his occasional slip-ups OR is he a generally inconsiderate man who has yet to really show you affection and care? Ocean makes a good point. If the cold-reader picked up on your cues accurately and told you to dump your bf, maybe you should listen to him, because you'd be listening to yourself! The only thing a cold-reader can tell you is what you've already told him without realizing it. So maybe he was right after all, in a roundabout way.
Kamille Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 Ocean makes a good point. If the cold-reader picked up on your cues accurately and told you to dump your bf, maybe you should listen to him, because you'd be listening to yourself! The only thing a cold-reader can tell you is what you've already told him without realizing it. So maybe he was right after all, in a roundabout way. Yes I agree. The psychic was basically telling you what you were feeling at the moment. And yesterday you were feeling pretty down and you were putting things into question. Plus, I think your biggest fear is that your bf will leave you in spite of all the effort you put into the relationship. Work on changing the dynamic. Baby steps.
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted February 16, 2008 Author Posted February 16, 2008 Yeah thing is it wasnt a face to face reading, it was a phone reading, so it would be impossible to pick up something in body language. But yeah i was also thinking the same that im more bothered by the fact that I felt it to be true. My biggest fear is that Im putting all the effort and he is just going along with it. When this psychic guy told me that thats what he is doing (without me saying anything about it), it literally made me shake. Then added nothing could be done to change it cuz he's just not capable of giving me what I need. (so according to him even if i do talk to him about it, he might try for a while but even then, he just cant do it and will leave anyway...by the end of the summer). I really love the guy (at the very least the reading made me see it clearly), and it scares me that what fear would be true. I just cant believe im putting so much belief in something ive always known to be a scheme. I guess it rang too true for me....Im honestly scared and not knowing if deep inside I know this is going nowhere and when i heard it from someone else it scared me. Having said that, if it were true my bf didnt put any effort, i wouldnt be hearing from him so often, nor would he want me to be with him all the time (and not always for sex btw). Sure he could put more effort into it...but its not true he just isnt interested... .i just wish i hadnt heard my fears reflected on that reading...eeekkk
Phateless Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 Maybe your next stop should be a therapist? It sounds like you're battling with your own insecurities and a tainted perception of the situation more than an actual situation. Make sense?
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted February 16, 2008 Author Posted February 16, 2008 hmm yeah ive been thinking the same thing.... i need help...obviously, once I start to seriously consider making a decision on something really important based on a psychic reading, you know im not ok. I really dont undestand why or how all this insecurity came to be. I often feel bad for doubting my bf the way i do. Sure he isnt prince charming, but i know he treats me well and cares for me very much. Im sick of feeling the way i do. I wish i knew where to look for help. Any ideas?
Seaman Staines Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 Having said that, if it were true my bf didnt put any effort, i wouldnt be hearing from him so often, nor would he want me to be with him all the time (and not always for sex btw). Sounds like you just need to learn a few more tricks to get his passionate side fired up. Maybe read up on some of the blowjob technique threads, and you will be able to take your relationship to the next level.
Winfield Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 I see you've posted many a thread about the guy you're currently with - OK, so maybe you feel you "need" someone... ...but there's being with someone, and being with someone for all the wrong reasons! If you doubt someone so much, are they really worth the bother? Perhaps a relationship (or a relationship with your current guy) simply isn't for you at present? Just my £0.02...
Kamille Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 Please stop beating yourself up over getting advice from a fortune teller. There is nothing wrong with that. A few of my friends turn to fortune tellers when they are feeling stressed. But ok. You think the fortune teller is on to something: your boyfriend might not be able to give you what you want. That's an important realization. Do you agree? Do you think your boyfriend is giving you what you want? Do you need more from him? If you need more from him, are you afraid of asking for it? If so why? (Likely before you are afraid of losing him, but that's a catch 22 because the initial problem is that he isn't giving you what you want).
DanielMadr Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 Oh Hey I'm psychic too. You know what they taught us at Psychic School? Whoever asks psychic to help him solve his life puzzle is simply lost unhappy and desperate. So you can assume he has no grasp on his life. And when you cut all psychologic **** you come out with a term Big Kid. Big Kid seeks approval. Hopes someone other will make him happy. Hopes there is a soulmate who doesnt need to be told how to make you happy....soulmate just knows - he can read your mind. He can fix all your flaws and problems. When you know this about your client it's just simple to "read" him/her. Just tell him the problem is the world around - parents, boyfriend, society etc. If you have a question ask your GUT not a psychic. And to trust your gut, you have to be honest with your gut. Dont paint yourself or anythink else in bright or dark colours. Just be honest to yourself. You dont need an excuse to leave your boyfriend. And its not that stupid V day gift its deeper than that. Try to name that feeling. You think he doesnt love you? Are you intimate?
Seaman Staines Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 Thanks for reminding me. He will be more into the relationship if you show him you are kicking it up a notch. A little bit of quality head goes a long way. Here's a link to one of the threads I mentioned previously: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t141501/
DanielMadr Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 HELP. Im being Flagged by some bully all the time. And Im even censoring my french myself. O.K. people who doesnt like me to the bone and un PC questions and remarks? At least flame me yourself instead of flagging you chicken. New You can be born only in pains not in PC speech and honey.
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted February 16, 2008 Author Posted February 16, 2008 (edited) As i am talking to him...currently....i think he is a great guy...clueless, but great. I am telling him exactly how i feel, in a non threatening, non fighting way. We are actually talking about the status of our relationship, which apparently wasnt clear, about what he does for me that i like and that i would like more of. He wasnt even aware that we've been together for 8 months..he says it doesnt feel like that long, and in my book thats a good thing, but again makes me well aware he is totally clueless. A few times he's given me little gifts for no reason, earings, a gorgeous silk braid bracelette, etc. No motive other than just he thought of me and got them for me. I told him i really liked that, and it was more the thought than the actual gift. it showed me that he cares and thinks of me. I told him i knew it could be difficult to put in effort, but we both need to do it. He responded with a lot of interest and openness. He sounds very interested in hearing what i want and what i need. What im starting to feel is that I hear over and over from different people that he should be doing more. THat he should be paying for expensive trips or giving me expensive gifts. This makes me nervous that maybe im settling. That i should want more.....yet when im with him, he's very affectionate, and although he isnt showering me with diamonds, i am very happy and calm when i am at his place, with him. Its when im not with him, when i overthink, that all s*8 hits the fan. Just yesterday, a bag of candy, which was a mild annoyance when he gave it to me, became a huge deal once i started reading that it meant he couldnt care less and that he isnt interested. We talked about that too, he is aware it was thoughless, and he should have done more. But he didnt do it with ill intentions...just thought i was 'too cool to care about that stuff, but wanted to give me something anyway" Maybe im being blind...maybe not...but im done doubting him, and Im done fearing telling him what i need. I just figured out that in my mind its a lot harder than when i actually do it...and once its out there...he seems to take it and run with it. No more psychics...and for the most part LS will be my last resort, after talking to him... Love you all, and thank you for your responses!!!! Edited February 16, 2008 by 4givrnt4gtr
EYECANDY000 Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 I havent read any of the other post yet, but i will go back and read them but I had a question... Did you reveal any information or have negative comments about your relationship before they gave you the reading?
Lizzie60 Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 Sometimes i wonder about myself.... I did something stupid, that is making me feel like ****.... Ive been so stressed about the situation with my bf (vday bs bassically, and how it relates to my relationship, all about it in the thread before this one) Anyway, i got a free psychic reading (i know retarded), so just for fun I asked about my R. I ask to tell me about my R....the guy immediately told me my bf was slow when it comes to R and that it seemed very one sided. That my bf was never gonna be able to give me what i wanted bc he just couldnt and that if i continued in it he would end up breaking it off by the end of summer anyway. He told me I needed to speak up otherwise i would always end up in r like this one, but that this one had no salvation and that my bf was just going thru the moves without much thought or feeling. It all sounded so true and hurt I know its retardedd since its just a psychic reading....but still it made me feel like **** and that i am wasting my time. I feel like an idiot for thinking of breaking up with my bf that i love just cuz a psychic told me it was the best choice..since this r wasnt gonna go anywhere. God i feel stupid. What do u guys think? Here you have it.. you are stupid.. Seriously, all psychic have the same 'vocabulary' it's baloney... please don't base your future on some freak... you might as well read your horoscope in the daily paper.. Doesn't make sense to me.. just go with your gut feeling.. I don't know your story..but if you don't love him.. don't waste your and his time just move on.
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted February 16, 2008 Author Posted February 16, 2008 I havent read any of the other post yet, but i will go back and read them but I had a question... Did you reveal any information or have negative comments about your relationship before they gave you the reading? Nope, the first thing he said after asking me if i was in a relationship (which if u think about it...he should know that being a psychic and all)...was that my bf was too slow for my liking when it came to relationships. I said yes to that...so i dont know if from there he took that and build....who knows.
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted February 16, 2008 Author Posted February 16, 2008 Here you have it.. you are stupid.. Seriously, all psychic have the same 'vocabulary' it's baloney... please don't base your future on some freak... you might as well read your horoscope in the daily paper.. Doesn't make sense to me.. just go with your gut feeling.. I don't know your story..but if you don't love him.. don't waste your and his time just move on. totally agree with you...that was a stupid move. But at least what it did was help me see that i truly love that clueless man, and the last thing i want to do is end it so that only gave me the other choice which was to talk to him thankfully talking to him has reinforced what ive felt all along when im not deep in my insecurity pool. That he is a good guy willing to work for our relationship as much as I am. I am seriously thinking that i need help with my insecurity though. he can only do so much to reassure me he is for real and a good guy. He's been doing it for 8 months and if i were him id be sick of it by now... So my next step as Phateless said, is to find REAL help to deal with my own abandonment/ insecurity issues. I wonder where i could go thats affordable ($120 an hour?!?! wtf!!!) Any ideas?
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