Mary Shadows Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 What is one of the main reason as to why men don't want girlfriends, or don't want to settle down, even though they might be in their late 20's?
izzylicious Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 I think a lot of guys like to have their ducks in a row (like having a solid career and a house) before getting serious.
fral945 Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 Speaking as a 28 yr. old single male, I would like a girlfriend but I'll admit I'm afraid to commit. Here are my reasons: 1) Getting stuck in a miserable, sexless relationship/marriage (read the plethora of posts on this website from men) 2) Possibility of divorce and losing everything you have worked hard for, then getting stuck in a job you hate to pay alimony and/or child support 3) Losing my freedom to do what I want when I want 4) To a lesser extent, sexual freedom (I wasn't sexually active until my mid-20s, so I don't think I could be monogamous until I get some sexual experiences under my belt, so to speak). Possibly if I had been sexually active when I was younger this might not be as big of a deal now. 5) Related to the above, I have difficulty finding women I would want to have sex with but also would want to marry (my expectations physically might be too high). I've met plenty of nice girls who I thought, "Wow, she's great", but they were significantly overweight or just not physically attractive. Maybe you learn to look past that when you're older but sexual attraction is important at this stage of my life. 6) As mentioned in the previous post, wanting to be more financially stable and set in my career path so I can afford to raise children (I'm changing careers right now). I've noticed as well that women expect more financially as they get older (i.e., vacations, nicer car, bigger house, etc.), so I'd like to be able to provide that to some extent. So, to summarize, it basically boils down to sex and money. I think practically about it, and the way I see it, there is a lot more to lose and little to gain by being in a relationship/marriage. I think men used to marry younger because of the "sex before marriage" stigma, not to mention that people died younger, so you didn't live with a spouse for 50-60 yrs. If you're going to live with someone that long, you better pick someone you really like. Both sexes are more demanding in what they want in a future spouse nowadays (and probably should be). I actually worked with 2 people whose relationships were so bad they would stay at work all day & night to avoid their SO. If that is what relationships are like, I don't want one. Better lonely than miserable.
peace_pipe Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 What is one of the main reason as to why men don't want girlfriends, or don't want to settle down, even though they might be in their late 20's? I haven't found her yet. Hopefully my thirties will be more fruitful.
Lizzie60 Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 I think less and less men/women want to settle in marriage or common-law relationships... and I can see why... With the number of divorces these days.. and our 'disposable-of-everything' lifestyle, it's hard to think someone wants to settle down with only one partner for a looong time. IMO, it has become almost impossible. Like the previous poster said.. you don't want to lose what you've been working so hard to gain... house, cars, etc. The best relationships is when each person has its own life (friends, etc.) and each their place (house) and get together on weekends... this is ideal IMO.
monkey00 Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 (edited) Pretty much I'm going to have to agree with everyone here. My main reason is I'm still young and still want to date around (not necessarily sleep around), I have my whole life ahead of me to get married or have kids. But hey..life's always unpredictable. Though I think everyone including me just wind's up taking people and everything for granted nowadays. But obviously if I'm going to be in a relationship with a girl, she has to be the right girl for me and I'm the right guy for her. Edited February 16, 2008 by monkey00
GoodOnPaper Posted February 17, 2008 Posted February 17, 2008 What is one of the main reason as to why men don't want girlfriends, or don't want to settle down, even though they might be in their late 20's? If more men learn that they don't necessarily need a woman to make their life "complete", then IMO that is a positive sign -- not only for them, but for the women that they choose to spend their life with.
Author Mary Shadows Posted February 17, 2008 Author Posted February 17, 2008 Thanks for all your insight. It makes sense to me now (:
Gold Pile Posted February 17, 2008 Posted February 17, 2008 After the initial blissful stage, frictions will grow and grow. I know too many "happily married' couples who seem to always fight. What was and who was hot in your 20's won't fit your definition of hot in the future. Even during the blissful stage, you're giving up a measure of control and even have to haggle about your own schedule. Man or women... it' too easy not to commit. You can own a home, car, and score enough sex partners to be almost satisfied. All that while remaining free.
onmyownagain Posted February 17, 2008 Posted February 17, 2008 As someone who has recently split from a wife and looking at an uncertain financial future I would say, given the choice again I would never, ever get married. When I was a younger man I used to not get too serious but unfortunately fell for the whole happily ever after bit and didn't think for a second it could all in in divorce. If I had my current salary but didn't have to millstone around my neck I would be living the good life :-)
xpaperxcutx Posted February 17, 2008 Posted February 17, 2008 We're having too much fun shaggin' girls to want to settle down with one. Get used to it, love, because these days it will extend into the guy's mid 30s. Kinda figured. Guys are always on the prowl. They're not ready to settle because if they're the socially assertive types, they know they can get any girl to like them. And have several girls on the side as well. When they first met you, it's like seeing bigfoot for the first time. Whether it was sexual attraction or curiousity, they will do everything they can to get your attention. Calling & texting to get that first date. They will CHARM the pants off you (both figuratively and literally) and in the process access whether the girl is worth the 2nd date. IF not, the charm will have dimmed out, and they will start avoiding you and giving you phony excuses as to why they haven't had time to call or text you. This is the part where the girl gets into insecure mode and start chasing after the guy. DON'T. You'll only scare him off. Obviously it's a jungle out there. Every guy loves a good chase. Let him come after you. Because its common nature to know a guy always wants what he can't have.
mental_traveller Posted February 17, 2008 Posted February 17, 2008 (edited) Freedom, lack of responsibilities, being able to sleep with anyone you want without having to worry about someone else's feelings, being able to live like a messy pig and not get nagged, having lots of free time to yourself, not having to cover any of a second person's expenses, being able to meet girls you like and when they ask you can say you are single. Another important reason - standards. Hot young women with big boobs, curvy asses, intelligence, dirty bedroom manner and a sense of humour are pretty thin on the ground and most have boyfriends or husbands. Edited February 17, 2008 by mental_traveller
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