rockinghorse Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 i am new to the forum. a friend told me about it, so i have decided i could use some advice from a neutral someone. please help me. i have been dating this man for almost 3 years. 1 year ago he needed a place to stay. so guess what- i invited him to stay at my house. i have fallen hard for this man but i'm afraid the feelings are not mutural. i found out that he has joined a dating website. the night before valentine's he was sending 2 different ladies flowers via high speed connect. i am not looking for revenge. i believe life is too short to be unhappy. i thought he was happy. we have fun together. not only does he call me his baby but he calls me his bestfriend. i thought we were good. obviously we are not! to the men out there: is connecting thru high speed considered cheating? i am not sure what emotion i am experiencing. i have had issues with trusting him before. i don't even think i am surprised at this point. i just want him to quietly leave. i know i deserve better. my problem...how do i break up and get him out without him hurting me or destroying my house?
Leia Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 He sees you as only a friend, best friend. I don't think he's in for anything more. If her did, he would have sent the flowers to you instead. Can't expect him to leave quietly, you have to tell him yourself.
directx Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 Is he a violent guy? Do you expect him to hurt you and destroy your house? I don't know about the cheating. Doesn't sound good. The sending of the flowers is definitely not right. Why dont you start with just telling him you want end the relationship?
MakeLemonade Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 Does he pay rent or do you two live together as bf/gf? If you do, he is pursuing other romantic interests obviously and you need to tell him to get out, if he has violent tendencies as your last sentence would imply, call the police first and have him escorted out. The speed of the internet connection has nothing to do with the possible extent of his cheating. You don't need to be afraid the feelings aren't mutual, based on what you have posted, the reality is that they aren't. Stand up for yourself, he is living in your home at your invitation and from the sounds of things, he is using you. I hope a few others will back me up on this - you are obviously not thinking completely clearly here or you would be able to see this for yourself.
Leia Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 Does he pay rent or do you two live together as bf/gf? If you do, he is pursuing other romantic interests obviously and you need to tell him to get out, if he has violent tendencies as your last sentence would imply, call the police first and have him escorted out. The speed of the internet connection has nothing to do with the possible extent of his cheating. You don't need to be afraid the feelings aren't mutual, based on what you have posted, the reality is that they aren't. Stand up for yourself, he is living in your home at your invitation and from the sounds of things, he is using you. I hope a few others will back me up on this - you are obviously not thinking completely clearly here or you would be able to see this for yourself. I have your back here, Lemonade.
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