stayc208 Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 Soo... Its been almost 2 weeks since the break up and I had been doing great.. had a couple of bad days but generally good. I was staying busy and hadn't contacted him for a while. Well I am a huge snoop and haven't really cut him out of my life and still talk with his friends and still have contact to his whereabouts. When we were together I frequently checked his texts b/c he would text other girls and I felt like he gave me reason to snoop. Basically I didn't trust him. Lately I had been good about not going to those resorts and focused on school, work and friends. He called me today. Just to say hi and see how I was doing. The day after valentine's day. So we talked, very cordial and nothing deep but he ended it with "I'll call you later tonight or whatever". Just then my friend who is over at his house quite a bit (she's dating one of his roommates, thus the friendship) calls me and we talk. I get on the subject of him and ask if he's had anyone over to the house and she neither denies or confirms it. So I say thats a yes. Its the girl that I knew he was interested in but said that she's "just a friend". I can't confront him on that because that's not my turf anymore... but he still says and considers me his best friend. Now I'm a firm believer in what happens, happens for a reason.. Maybe this was God's way of telling me to finally get over it... the only thing is the way we ended things. It was on such a positive note with him telling me that he wants to look into the priesthood because he believes every good Catholic man should do that. And that he doesn't want to have a physical relationship with me, but still wants to talk and hang out and all that. So is he just dragging me on for the emotional part of a relationship and having the physical part with other people? Like with the random call today. I hadn't contacted him for over 2 days and he just calls out of the blue, sounds cheerful and truly happy to talk to me.. Or do I trust him with the church thing and believe that he doesn't want a relationship for a while to focus on his relationship with God? The other thing is that he is an actor and is doing a show and this suspected girl is in that show as well... so he spends quite a bit of time around her. She's also in his scene group for one of his classes. Ugh, I was doing so well. I even had a great valentine's day with friends and work (maybe some tequila!) Any suggestions with anything? Should I confront him, what do I have to lose, right? I know that I can live without him and that I do NOT need the stress of checking his texts every so often. And also if it truly was meant to be then it will all work out in the end and I just need to live my life for me RIGHT NOW. So any suggestions would be great as I'm very confused about the situations and I feel like he is too... Thanks
Ronni_W Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 Well, it sounds like you were doing all the right things, and then gave in to some old "snooping" tendencies. It does happen, so basically just re-commit to moving forward and giving up the activities that don't serve your best interest. If, on the other hand, you feel the need to have a conversation (not confrontation) to redefine your relationship and set new boundaries then, yes, definitely do that for your own clarity and peace of mind. Another way to look at it is: Should I confront him...? ...I do NOT need the stress of checking his texts Er, "confront" him on WHAT? All's he is doing is acting like an ex-boyfriend, which sometimes they're nice, sometimes they act like jerks, and sometimes they string us along. Your text-checking stress is also self-induced due to those same "snooping" tendencies, and not being helped by your asking others for updates on him. The good thing is that you've caught yourself sliding back into an old pattern, and are starting to explore it -- that deserves a pat on the back. So, congrats...and have a very happy and stress-free weekend
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