Miyamoto Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 Is that even...like...what IS that? Is it just a big excuse? Is this what I should have done instead of breaking up with my ex? What are the usual rules of a "break"? What can you do, and what is the tie that binds? Why is it not a breakup? Is it just a form of Leash Theory for the initiating party? Somebody please explain.
Pyro Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 I never quite understood what a break actually is. My guess is that either: -she doesn't know what she wants, so she is taking the time to figure things out -she wants to try and date other people and see how it works and if it doesn't work, then she will come back to you. As far as rules go, they vary per situation.
MissTiss Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 I'm curious too. I got the I need time and distance routine just the other day... At this point, I have remained completely silent toward him because I have no real clue what my "role" in this taking time away thing...
Belkin Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 Isn't a break like a breakup? Only you find out later that's it's a breakup because she's dating someone else?
twice_shy Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 Is that even...like...what IS that? Is it just a big excuse? In my opinion a break is a selfish way to try to keep someone dangling on a string so one can go off and sow their oats, then come back to the other person later. If anyone ever suggested a break to me, I'd simply tell them that it is not a break, its a break up and we will stay broken up.
prisonbreak Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 To me, a break means...I'm not sure if I really want to be with you, but give me some time to figure it out. I've said it before and that's what I meant by it.
Author Miyamoto Posted February 15, 2008 Author Posted February 15, 2008 To me, a break means...I'm not sure if I really want to be with you, but give me some time to figure it out. I've said it before and that's what I meant by it. I don't like that at all. Either be or do not be with me. Do you get guys f'd up enough to say ok to this kind of relationship? I'm glad I never mentioned "taking a break" to my ex. By youz guyz' definitions, that's mad disrespectful. But I guess all's fair.
prisonbreak Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 I'm not saying it was right or that it was fair. I'm just telling you what I meant. The funny thing is, the guy I was dating had enough self-respect to say, "Hey, give me a call when you figure it out, maybe I'll be around, maybe I won't". Well, after I had some time, all I needed was a week, I was back. I didn't want to lose him. His confidence was so attractive, I couldn't resist.
Tomcat33 Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 A break is "let me test the waters without you because this is not working for me , but I am not 100% I don't want you".
miami45uconn Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 Yo a break is like step one of a break-up. It is a break up its just an easier way of putting it for the "breaker" i guess so that they dont feel so guilty. And it looks like tomcat would rather leave someone hanging on while they "test" the waters
Peter_pan Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 it does vary person to person. i told my ex when we where in the first year together i wanted a break, because she was way to full on and i wasnt ready. plus i did want to see what else was out there. I would NEVER under ANY circumstances cheat on anyone. cheaters are scum.
Belkin Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 So you're saying a break is "legalized" cheating basically! I totally agree!
Peter_pan Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 hmm the more i think about it your right it was horrible to do that. and a break isn't right, i should just end it. well she didn't let me have a break anyway so technically i am still a nice person. i was 17 anyway
ANGUISHEDandBROKEN Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 A break means..... Its over, done, kaput, sayonara, adios amigo.... Ill be going somewhere else, you stay there if you like..... Move on....
OpenBook Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 To me, a break means...I'm not sure if I really want to be with you, but give me some time to figure it out. I've said it before and that's what I meant by it. A break is "let me test the waters without you because this is not working for me , but I am not 100% I don't want you". I think this is what my exBF meant when he told me he needed a break. So I gave him a permanent one.
Phateless Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 If someone suggested a break to me I would say NO. You're either in or you're out. I will not wait around like a tool.
yama8017 Posted February 17, 2008 Posted February 17, 2008 (edited) According to my personal experience, it means he or she wants to fool with someone else if he or she has not already been doing it. They use the word “break” to make themselves sound more merciful, covering their guilt up and leave the possibility open for them to come back to you. To me, it’s a goddamn slippery and selfish term. They enjoy all the benefit; you are left in the dark. But I can be wrong. People are different one from another. Maybe what I met is just one of those who abuse this word. Edited February 17, 2008 by yama8017
Peter_pan Posted February 17, 2008 Posted February 17, 2008 god i feel so bad for even mentioning that name to my ex. shame on me. she shouldn't have taken me back. i didn't even no what i was doing.
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