A strange reaction

[Hellsbells]

Hi all,

 

Not really sure whether I qualify as an 'other man' or not, but have kinda involved with a married woman and need a little advice. It's a pretty odd question, but it's been bothering me and maybe those who've been there can explain.

 

Basically we've become very close over the last year. We spend a lot of time together and she seemed to be pretty flirty at times; she'd tease me so we'd play fight a bit, hold hands some times, she'd invite compliments, said there's no-one she'd rather be with, lots of eye contact, pet names, I'd play with her hair, etc. Anyway a few weeks ago she cooled right off and said we were only friends and never intended to give any other impression. OK, I was a tad confused and irked but had always tended to follow her lead and in the circumstances wasn't going to push it.

 

Then last week she was sitting on the sofa on a bit of a downer with life, looking really sad and sweet; I was rather fed up and miserable too. I felt an overwhelming need to touch her and reached out to gently touch her foot (she used to often put her legs in my lap to play with - apparently quite happily), to which she jerked her leg away, said 'no' in an almost scared wimpery voice and pulled an expression like a yeti was coming to get her. Needless to say I backed off and said sorry and after an uncomfortable silence we sarted chatting about rubbish. It was a horrible feeling however. and I just can't forget it.

 

So why such a strong reaction; does she find me horribly unattractive in a physical 'more than friends' way and I'd got the earlier signals wrong? Is it some sort of guilt or confusion issue? Am I being fantasically naive or obtuse about something?

 

Thanx anyone

[Pyro]

She has decided to not hurt her H anymore, so as hard as it is for her to resist you, that is what she is doing.

 

You should walk away now before you get hurt.

[Owl]

She realized that she was either crossing the line, or right on the edge of crossing the line. And she's chosen not to pursue the situation any further.

 

KUDOS TO HER!!!

 

The BEST thing you can do for her at this point is to respect her wishes, and resume more appropriate boundaries in your relationship.

 

Since she's married, there shouldn't be any flirting, play-fighting, hand holding, foot-rubbing, etc, etc...

 

Back off, respect her wishes, and keep it to a NORMAL friendship level. Even if she changes her mind...YOUR best bet is to respect her marriage and hold to those same boundaries.

[imagonnacry]

Agreed. GIrl knew she was right on that line. She made her decision, time to move on. Obviously nothing personal, she just wants to stay married, capeche?