GlamourBabe Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 Well I broke up with an ex in November and one of my good friends activated a match.com profile for me in the december and a lovely gentlemen replied. I am 21. He is 35. He is highly intellectual which I love in men. He is a lawyer, a lecturer and he also writes novels. Unfortunately, I kind of did a disappearing act on him. We talked on the phone a few times, we didnt meet but I still wasnt over the ex, and I amstill not . At the time, I just wanted to be alone. I didnt know how to tell because he seemed so "into" me so I just didnt say anything at all. I am not instantly physically attracted to him either. However, its not the main thing I go for in a man anyway. Well fast forward 7 weeks and I get a text message yesterday saying he has been thinking about me, and felt sad that I disappeared on him. I replied, aplogising and saying that I had just come out of a relationship and didnt feel ready, meaning I didnt feel like I could make him happy at the time. Well we text back and forth a few times and his text messages are very well written, very descriptive and "romantic like" and not to mention very long. He says the most beautiful things to me its enough to bring any woman to tears. I guess he has the knack as he is a writer.. Well we have been speaking on the phone a lot these past few days and I must admit I do love his mind. I asked him for some more pictures, and he sent me some today with a long email attached....My first impressions were a bit shocked and I feel slightly overwhelmed. I showed my mum and she just thinks he seems really caring and sweet. And I put him on loud speaker, when he called and she said he sounds really intelligent and lovely. I think he seems a bit geeky but I do like it. My last ex was abusive towards the end, and my first bf was abusive too. So I guess I may not be used to nice treatment. Well the email is below....... Bearing in mind we havent met.....What do you think. Is this a bit much? Or is he just genuinely coming across as a nice caring guy who is really into me? My precious & eternal ******, Eureka - finally it has worked! Sigh...only for you and our glorious future would I have done battle with my nemesis computers in this way..! But all of the stress and embarrassment in this internet cafe will have ultimately been worth it - but only if you like them... Darling, there is 1 thing which I have been too shy to tell you over the phone - mainly because on the phone to you I feel much shyer with my heart ain my mouth, and also because I fear you will think it sounds so ridiculous! What is it..? Well, simply and amazingly, it is that I feel I have somehow known you for such a loooong time - but in a very `+' uplifting way. I guess in 1 way I HAVE known you for a long time: in the sense that ever since hearing your beautiful voice and feeling your intelligence in early December when we 1st spoke, I have spent a long time in between thinking of you and wondering... But anyway, enough of this mystical mumbo-jumbo - sorry princess. Very soon I will play tennis again as it is another gloriously mild sunny Spring-like day here in cosmopolitan Brighton (I am sure you will love it here too - hopefully when you come very soon). But on my way I will go past the post office...and so if you wish me to post the rest of my pics to you via `snail-mail, then plesae text me your address there within the next 10 minutes..! Oh well, thankyou for inspiring me in so many ways already ******; you already feel very precious to me and special in my heart. And if you CAN do your best to start thinking more positively, then I will be so pleased and grateful and very proud of you too! Because as I said last night: I also was once treated very badly by a girl - but that is now history and I wish it to stay so! It would be foolish to ever dwel upon it - bcause that would just be wasting what Nietzsche called the `Eternal Now'! Eve to ever be asked about this negative period of my life would probably be unprofitable to us both. And so in a similar way, I hope you become open to me and do not prejudge me negativvely with fear because of what may have happened in your recent past. Instead let us begin to stake OUR joint claim on the `Eternal Now' together... Ok..? And also as I said last night: try not to think so mechanically about taking things either `slow' or fast' these are - or should be anyway - meaningless ways to behave and think; it is like being a prisoner in one's dark emotional past! Instead just enjoy and TRUST our natural flow/`speed' - and if it naturally proves to be `very fast', then let us sdavour it and treasure it... Do you understand..? I am sure you of all people DO - as I genuinely am in awe of you and think you are a genius and exceptionally rare and unique; your mind and humour make me feel as breathless as your spellbinding and sexily beautiful photos, sigh... Anyway my princess, after hearing your beautiful voice these last 2 times and being in contact with you again for a 2nd time - at last! - all I can say is that I am deeply missing you and yearning for you to come here to Brighton to be with me as soon as you can. Yes, my sofa & endless loving cuddles awaits you... Take care. Your bashful Martin.xxx P.S. Please never worry about anything at all! Again as I said last night: your happiness in every possible way is now the most important thing in my life - and I will ensure it is forever. I truly wish our magical connection to last into Eternity itself... What do you think? Why do I feel "ick"?
Star Gazer Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 I would feel ick too. First, he's an attorney. Why is he writing to you from an internet cafe? Does he not own a computer? Hmm. Suspicious. "My precious & eternal ******," "Darling," "Princess," - WTF? That's a bit much... no, it's OVER THE TOP. "And if you CAN do your best to start thinking more positively, then I will be so pleased and grateful and very proud of you too!" - what's there to be proud of??? "Instead let us begin to stake OUR joint claim on the `Eternal Now' together... Ok..?" - Again, WTF? He wants your REAL ADDRESS within the next ten minutes? DO NOT give it to him. CREEPY! Honestly, he sounds like a sociopath. I'd honestly think he was a serial killer.
Author GlamourBabe Posted February 15, 2008 Author Posted February 15, 2008 Well he is not a lawyer at the moment he is on a sabbatical at the moment, " aparently " but you would think he would have a working scanner e.t.c at home? Hmmmm I think I have every right to feel uncomfortable about this! I mean can you see why I did the disappearing act before.
Star Gazer Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 It's all WAY TOO MUCH for someone you met online and haven't even met. I'd expect a letter like that after dating someone seriously after six months or more, and even then it would be a little much. He wants your real address after speaking with you twice, and sounds like he's trying to manipulate your doubt into passionate feelings so that you'll go along with whatever he says. CREEPY.
sunshinegirl Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 Run for the hills! Seriously. How can he spout such nonsense when he's NEVER LAID EYES ON YOU? I don't buy the "attorney on sabbatical" crap. What is he doing while on sabbatical? When is he going to be done with his sabbatical? Is he returning to his former employer? If he's for real, tell him to give you his full name and employment history, then google him. If he's for real, he'll appreciate your need to know he's a decent guy. If he's not, he'll hem and haw and BS you into thinking you don't need that - after all you have such a deep connection....
tanbark813 Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 $100 says this dude gets dressed up for Renaissance faires.
curiousnycgirl Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 Way over the top, and unfortunately way too common on dating sites. What happened to taking some time to just focus and owrk on YOU? But I digress - back to your question there is an element of sweetness to it. I would probably answer back saying whoa mister - this is way over the top. Please either back it down to step 1 and only take baby steps, or I disappear again!
redfathom Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 Don't give him your address. He is very creepy.
blind_otter Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 Eh, I'm not impressed. This is way overblown and too flowery - like someone who has never actually been in a relationship but has had several fantasy relationships. I would be very wary. Def. do NOT give him your addy!
sunshinegirl Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 Eve to ever be asked about this negative period of my life would probably be unprofitable to us both. TRANSLATION: My last girlfriend disappeared under mysterious circumstances. But let's not talk about it. Instead let us begin to stake OUR joint claim on the `Eternal Now' together... Ok..? And also as I said last night: try not to think so mechanically about taking things either `slow' or fast' these are - or should be anyway - meaningless ways to behave and think; it is like being a prisoner in one's dark emotional past! Instead just enjoy and TRUST our natural flow/`speed' - and if it naturally proves to be `very fast', then let us sdavour it and treasure it... TRANSLATION: ignore your gut instinct, which is telling you that this, and I, am at best creepy and at worst, dangerous.
Star Gazer Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 TRANSLATION: My last girlfriend disappeared under mysterious circumstances. But let's not talk about it. Spot on!!!
Author GlamourBabe Posted February 15, 2008 Author Posted February 15, 2008 Oh my god thank you guys! I am sooooooooooooo not meeting up with him. I think its time for me to do disappearing act number 2 ! lol. I knew my sixth sense was right! Good job I didnt take my mums advice then!! Curiousnycgirl I am working on myself hun, he contacted me out of the blue 2 days ago because I disappeared on him in december because I thought he was a bit intense then and I had only been broken up from my ex 4 weeks. As you can see from the email, and a few of you have pointed it out. I had told him lets take things slow and he comes out with all of this " arty farty" bull c***. He sounds like a serial killer in that email. I have never had anything like it in my entire life!!!!
Author GlamourBabe Posted February 15, 2008 Author Posted February 15, 2008 $100 says this dude gets dressed up for Renaissance faires. lol, whats a renaissance faire? I am an english girl so is this something american?
tanbark813 Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 lol, whats a renaissance faire? I am an english girl so is this something american? This is one example: http://www.norcalrenfaire.org/ I like going to them but the people who get dressed up and participate can be rather dramatic.
curiousnycgirl Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 Just so I don't look like an idiot - the ONLY reason I suggested you could send him an email telling him to slow it the heck down - was because I have to assume your phone conversations with him gave him the impression that communication like that was ok. I especially thought that must be the case because your mother thought he was ok - but then after I posted I remembered that your mother is much like mine - so her opinion can't be counted. My true knee jerk reaction is to send him a note saying this is too much, I am really not ready nor interested. And then ignore every single future communication from him. Do not respond do not answer, nothing!
Author GlamourBabe Posted February 15, 2008 Author Posted February 15, 2008 I think I will send him a text to say " this is waaaaaaaaay to much" but reading that email again it sounds even more sinister! What do you think I should send to tell him that i will disappearing again?
sunshinegirl Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 I think I will send him a text to say " this is waaaaaaaaay to much" but reading that email again it sounds even more sinister! What do you think I should send to tell him that i will disappearing again? Well, one option is not to respond at all. Literally just disappear. Block his email & phone numbers so he can't reach you. If you choose to respond at all, you can't say anything that leaves the door open even a smidgen. Saying "this is way too much" might make him think that if he tones it down, you'll hang around... so he may keep pursuing you. So you gotta slam that door shut. (By the way, if he's truly crazy, he might try to find you. Is there any chance he could piece together where you work or live?)
leftinthedark Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 ROFLMAO Tanbark cracked me up. Ok, this guy is ewwwwwwwwww. Ever hear of a blow torcher? This is what he is. Comes on really strong and will leave you really fast. Princess? YUCK. This guy is corny as hell. Run!!! Oh, tell him to get over himself first, then run.
Author GlamourBabe Posted February 15, 2008 Author Posted February 15, 2008 Well, one option is not to respond at all. Literally just disappear. Block his email & phone numbers so he can't reach you. If you choose to respond at all, you can't say anything that leaves the door open even a smidgen. Saying "this is way too much" might make him think that if he tones it down, you'll hang around... so he may keep pursuing you. So you gotta slam that door shut. (By the way, if he's truly crazy, he might try to find you. Is there any chance he could piece together where you work or live?) Yeah kinda, I am training to be a nurse in my hometown uni, and there is only one uni there....so? But he dont drive so it would be a long trek as he lives about 2 hours away...Ugh I feel sick..
renee_1977 Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 OMG this is just creepy. I posted a similar thread about someone I had met in person and was over the top for a first date. It was scary because I stupidly let him pick me up at my house so he knew where I lived. In my case, it worked out okay.... Run for the hills! This is not romantic, this is just way over the top.
EYECANDY000 Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 It sounds like is he is trying waaaaay to hard. If any guy wrote me that in the beginning I would tell them to let me know when the real them is present, because it seems like I am talking to their phony representative. Just like he stated in the middle of the paragraphs it is mumbo jumbo. It didnt feel like true sincerity, seems like something he copy and paste to all the women he talks to on the dating website.
kitkat826 Posted February 17, 2008 Posted February 17, 2008 He sounds absolutely ridiculous...also like a sociopath of some sort. I dated one once, and they love to make grandoise and farfetched statements in order to get you to fall for them.
Storyrider Posted February 17, 2008 Posted February 17, 2008 Ditto what the others said. But also, he actually doesn't even sound intelligent. He sounds like an uneducated person imitating what he thinks intelligent people sound like. He just sounds pretentious.
jerbear Posted February 17, 2008 Posted February 17, 2008 I think I stopped after the first two sentences. I don't think I spilled that much till after meeting her, a few dates have gone by, and a had sleep over. If a woman did that to me, I would potentially run for the hills too! Ok after a "sleep over" then run for the hills! Def. do NOT give him your addy! I'm a guy and I don't give my addy to even a hot sexy potential GF, especially having not met her in person! TRANSLATION: My last girlfriend disappeared under mysterious circumstances. But let's not talk about it. Sounds like he has the legal aspects covered plus buried the hachet and shovel.
Jilly Bean Posted February 17, 2008 Posted February 17, 2008 $100 says this dude gets dressed up for Renaissance faires. :D:D:D:D:D:D:D That's hysterical. But the guy sounds like a total nutbag. Run, do not walk.
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