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Tips 4 Stealing Another man


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Posted

Well...I've been messing with this dude for a while and we got kind of serious. He takes me home from time to time and like i said it started getting serious...soooooo.....then he decides to tell me that he is in a relationship and has been for a year now. From what I hear, his girlfriend is an ******* and she never makes an attempt to see him. I'm planning on stealing him but I just need to know how.

Posted

You will need a toolkit....

 

Large hessian sack, XXL probably.

Nylon rope, to tie the bag up.

Baseball bat, just in case he doesn't fit in the bag first time around.

A stripey jumper and a mask, no self respecting thief would leave the house without these.

A tin of brasso to polish your brass neck :)

A fast getaway car with a big boot(trunk), BMW make a good range of station wagon type models.

 

All of the above are available on eBay, at reasonable prices.

 

Maybe a four leaf clover for good luck, lets face it if he'll leave her for you then he may leave you for the next one with the MK2 Toolkit!

 

Anyway good luck!

Posted
You will need a toolkit....

 

Large hessian sack, XXL probably.

Nylon rope, to tie the bag up.

Baseball bat, just in case he doesn't fit in the bag first time around.

A stripey jumper and a mask, no self respecting thief would leave the house without these.

A tin of brasso to polish your brass neck :)

A fast getaway car with a big boot(trunk), BMW make a good range of station wagon type models.

 

All of the above are available on eBay, at reasonable prices.

 

Maybe a four leaf clover for good luck, lets face it if he'll leave her for you then he may leave you for the next one with the MK2 Toolkit!

 

Anyway good luck!

 

ROTFLMAO!!! Excellent post!

Posted

Voodoo doll! I kid you not!

Posted

I'd put a basball bat and a BMW up against a voodoo doll any day:)

Posted

Follow Witabix's plan, you'll get your man! BUT - Another woman will come along and use Witabix's plan, and steal him from you. Enjoy!

Posted

How about you tell his ****** GF that you want him? I'm sure she'll pass him on to you. No money needed but you might get a few bruises.

Posted

You actually believe him when he says his girlfriend is ******? He is cheating on her and she is the cruddy one? I think he has established he is a liar and a cheater. And now you are the other woman who is trying to "steal" a taken man??? Hmmmm not a good start.

Posted
You will need a toolkit....

 

Large hessian sack, XXL probably.

Nylon rope, to tie the bag up.

Baseball bat, just in case he doesn't fit in the bag first time around.

A stripey jumper and a mask, no self respecting thief would leave the house without these.

A tin of brasso to polish your brass neck :)

A fast getaway car with a big boot(trunk), BMW make a good range of station wagon type models.

 

All of the above are available on eBay, at reasonable prices.

 

Maybe a four leaf clover for good luck, lets face it if he'll leave her for you then he may leave you for the next one with the MK2 Toolkit!

 

Anyway good luck!

No offense but you forgot the packing tape, in case he vocally protests. A baseball bat will only stun for a short period of time.

 

As to the OP, aren't there unattached men within your social circle? If not, might I suggest an expansion?

Posted
You will need a toolkit....

 

Large hessian sack, XXL probably.

Nylon rope, to tie the bag up.

Baseball bat, just in case he doesn't fit in the bag first time around.

A stripey jumper and a mask, no self respecting thief would leave the house without these.

A tin of brasso to polish your brass neck :)

A fast getaway car with a big boot(trunk), BMW make a good range of station wagon type models.

 

All of the above are available on eBay, at reasonable prices.

 

Maybe a four leaf clover for good luck, lets face it if he'll leave her for you then he may leave you for the next one with the MK2 Toolkit!

 

Anyway good luck!

I love your ideas! That gave me a good laugh this morning. :laugh:

 

If his gf is such a ******, why is he still with her?

 

I have a feeling that if you steal this guy, you'll be getting the "Boobie Prize".

Posted
I love your ideas! That gave me a good laugh this morning. :laugh:

 

If his gf is such a ******, why is he still with her?

 

I have a feeling that if you steal this guy, you'll be getting the "Boobie Prize".

 

Why don't you just borrow him for a while?... :laugh:

Posted

Why is a wussie man who puts up with a retarded relationship worth stealing again?

 

I agree with the Boobie Prize theory.

Posted

Boobie prize...that's hilarious and sooooooooo true!!!

 

Do you think it's more about "winning" than it is about this man? I mean, look at his character. Why would you want a guy like this? He's a liar and a cheater!! He doesn't respect women, he's having an affair and has been doing so for a while now. OMG!! Find yourself a good man. Don't focus on "winning". His gf already got the short end of the stick, you don't need to rub it in. But then again, maybe you'd be doing her a favor.

Posted
You will need a toolkit....

 

Large hessian sack, XXL probably.

Nylon rope, to tie the bag up.

Baseball bat, just in case he doesn't fit in the bag first time around.

A stripey jumper and a mask, no self respecting thief would leave the house without these.

A tin of brasso to polish your brass neck :)

A fast getaway car with a big boot(trunk), BMW make a good range of station wagon type models.

 

All of the above are available on eBay, at reasonable prices.

 

Maybe a four leaf clover for good luck, lets face it if he'll leave her for you then he may leave you for the next one with the MK2 Toolkit!

 

 

 

 

Anyway good luck!

 

 

 

Thats a classic!!!! Wowzers!!! :lmao:

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

every gf i have ever had i have "stolen" from someone else... you cannot steal what wants to be taken.. its a 2 way situation... essentially i have done some very ****ing ****ty things in the past to get what i want. in retrospect i think the best thing to do is just leave them alone.. if he is that unhappy he will leave and come to u...if u wanna try then go for it.. but if he is willing to leave her for u .. how long till he leaves u for someone else..

Posted
You will need a toolkit....

 

Large hessian sack, XXL probably.

Nylon rope, to tie the bag up.

Baseball bat, just in case he doesn't fit in the bag first time around.

A stripey jumper and a mask, no self respecting thief would leave the house without these.

A tin of brasso to polish your brass neck :)

A fast getaway car with a big boot(trunk), BMW make a good range of station wagon type models.

 

All of the above are available on eBay, at reasonable prices.

 

Maybe a four leaf clover for good luck, lets face it if he'll leave her for you then he may leave you for the next one with the MK2 Toolkit!

 

Anyway good luck!

 

 

:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::laugh::p Hahhahahha somebody come and peel me off the floor!

Posted

While I find the "solutions" hilarious, it did occur to me that the "girlfriend" might not even exist or it could be his wife. I mean, really, how hard is it to walk away from someone you're not legally married to?

 

Personally, I think he'd look quite handsome in a stud collar and ball chaps in a monkey cage. Now there's a visual... LOL

Posted

Carhill has a good point. Why do you need to steal him. If he isn't involved in a legally binding relationship, thinks his current gf is a *****, then just ask him to break up with her and be with you. I don't see what's so hard about that.

Posted
No offense but you forgot the packing tape, in case he vocally protests. A baseball bat will only stun for a short period of time.

 

No, not packing tape. Duct tape. It's stronger and can be used to fix your car if there's anything left over afterwards. :D

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