Girl7 Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 I've recently met a guy who I have been seeing for the last couple of weeks. We've been out on four dates and things seem to be going fabulously. We get along great, have heaps of fun and the chemistry is to die for. He's told me I'm the most exciting thing to happen to him in a very long time and is looking forward to many many more dates together... Basically everything seems great! Or at least I thought. We were meant to catch up on a Fri night, but he was sick, so he rescheduled for Sun. We caught up sun, had a great time and he said he'll call me soon, and mentioned he had work commitments on during the week. It's now Fri and I have not heard one word. Granted Thurs was Valentines day, and I can appreciate wanting to avoid the day like the plague as there is simply way too much pressure involving the whole day - especially on new relationships.. But nearly a week with no contact? He is either trying to tell me something without saying a word or is genuinley busy.. Please help! Going by the time we have spent with eachother I have no reason to doubt anything yet, but have an over analytical female mind I can't help but think and ponder........ Thoughts??
AllInOne Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 Before this past week how often would you contact each other? If this is a large change from your routine, I think it is a bit odd. When I am interested in a women I try to contact her every couple of days or so (I might be a little more needy then most people though). It doesn't take much time to send a short text or email. But, I wouldn't panic yet. Maybe something real big came up.
Author Girl7 Posted February 15, 2008 Author Posted February 15, 2008 Before this past week, we'd contact eachother around the 3 day mark and generally tee something up for a future get together when we saw eachother. With V Day being this week and work stuff he has on, I guess the lack of contact would be normal.. unless he is following some stupid no contact rule, to see if I would break and contact him.. My thinking is this - I called on Sun to arrange the night, and he said he would call so I have no reason not to believe him, and will leave it up to him to make the contact. But he would need to come up with the goods sometime soon, I dont plan on waiting around pining !
Replicant Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 but have an over analytical female mind I can't help but think and ponder........ Thoughts?? ^^^ Typical But seriously he could have very well just had a busy week with work or some issue that called him away from planning something with you this week, but if much more time drags on without making plans for another date. He might just not be that into you, or flaked out for a variety of reasons. Reasons which you should not think much into (Meaning no pondering!) just move on to someone whom really lights your tail on fire.
Blue Eyed Brain Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 Whatever the reason, it's with him and not with YOU! You need to process this - he maybe insecure or unsure of himself. Whatever he's going through - it's not up to you to fix it, etc. If he doesn't call in a few days - write him off to experience.
Kamille Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 Whatever the reason, it's with him and not with YOU! You need to process this - he maybe insecure or unsure of himself. Whatever he's going through - it's not up to you to fix it, etc. If he doesn't call in a few days - write him off to experience. Yup. I was pretty much going to write the same thing. I like your thread title because it's true that as woman we tend to 'personalize' when it comes to dating. I got better at dating once I started taking advice from my dad, who basically taught me how to think like a man. And the basic core of the advice went something like: dating is fun don't put all your eggs in the same basket don't take it personnally.
Author Girl7 Posted February 18, 2008 Author Posted February 18, 2008 So so true - love the advice - dont take it personally, have fun and dont put your eggs all in one basket! LOVE IT. Just an update.. He called and we ended up having a brilliant date that lasted from lunch until early morning.. grocery shopped, cooked a feast together, watched movies and indulged in some gorgeous wine... Judging by his actions and how we interact with eachother, it's awesome. But a couple of comments he made, made me stop and think - apparently he has a tendency to pull girls in and push them away, which he didnt think he shouldve told me. I shrugged it off, no dramas there. I made mention of how I have been burnt in the past with men only wanting one thing from me and disappearing once they get it - he said it was probably a good thing for me to be like that as he usually doesnt know if he is coming or going.. And then a while later tells me how awesome it is to be able to do all this homey stuff in his house with him, how much he enjoys doing it all with me.. His actions tell me he could be up for more than just a summer fling, but some of his words lead me to think that he is confused and has no idea and will probably hurt me in the end. So I have decided to let the relationship take its course and will not suffocate it, it needs time and breathing space in order for it to grow; you dont want to drown it from the beginning, it will have no chance! And just to relax and have fun. The whole dating thing is new to me, havnt been on one for about 3 years, as I was in a relationship for 2 and totally forgotten what its like in the beginning. So its been 5 dates, and we've had a great time on all of them. When do random dates begin to suggest something more? I was happy to get a second date! But now approaching number 6, this is all very new territory indeed...
spookie Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 Awesome that he called you after all, but some of the things he's said sound like MAJOR red flags to me. Almost like he wanted to get it out there that he's like this so that when he treats you like crap later on, he can justify that you've been warned. If I were you I'd be VERY careful with this guy. It's one thing not to overanalyze, but another thing entirely to let someone overstep their boundaries with you because you do not want to appear to be "needy" or "suffocating". You need to define for yourself what is and what isn't acceptable behavior, and hold him to that standard.
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