Damn, I think I just screwed myself over again by breaking the NC rule..ex is psycho

[ninjacookies]

I don't really want to add to an already 'novel'-like post, but for those interested, here's the history:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t143307/

 

I'll paraphrase:

 

So it's been about 2 months after I 'formally' broke up with my ex in after a 6 month LD relationship (although the breakup was pretty much done on both ends, we just never contacted each other, weird huh).

 

Anyways, after strict NC I emailed her a month later apologizing for the way things ended (big mistake on my end, due to loneliness), and telling her that I still think that we could have been a beautiful couple if circumstances were different and we weren't a state apart.

 

3 days after the email she calls me and tells me thanks for the email and then tells me that she's just improving herself for now and enjoying her life, and has went on several dates. I accepted that and wished her luck. Ok cool I can move on.

 

Half a week later she calls me back again and emotions definitely get tangled on the phone, and basically she's giving me all these flirtatious clues like 'god i wish i could hug you right now,' 'im still sleeping every night with the teddy bear we made together,' and telling me she thinks about me all the time...yadda yadda. She cheerfully tells me I should definitely call her up and never be a stranger. I agreed (though I lied lol).

 

So about 2 weeks of not calling her, she calls me last night (night before valentines day) and again, being the dumbass I am...I picked up. One of her first questions is 'do you have a valentine?' and I say 'ummm...hmmm...not really' and we delve into a long conversation about everything new with us. She then takes it upon herself to remind me that she's 'talking to some guy' (wow, great motives huh), but that both her and him aren't ready for a relationship right now...which is totally cool with me and I tell her that I wish her tons of luck and happiness with it. She replies 'thanks!' She asks me the same and I reply that I'm currently speaking with 3 girls. She goes 'wow!! you're a pimp huh! Guess you crossed me off the list of girls for a possible relationship, huh...forgot all about me now huh haha'

 

Uhhhhh.....

 

Again, wtf is she talking about. Seriously. Then we were talking about

money for some reason, and the possible scenario of coming into large amounts of money. Then she says 'hey, then you could buy a private jet....to come and visit me!!' I just laugh it off. She then asks me if I would be her valentine since she didn't have a valentine (which totally doesnt make sense if she's 'talking to some guy.' I, as you probably already can guess, said 'ok that's cool.' The phone conversation was very cordial though, just very confusing on my part. She stated she would call me again some time later this week again.

 

Seriously I don't get this girl. Is she just emotionally needy? Does she want me back? Does she want to be friends? Does she just want my emotional support since she knows I'm the most caring guy she's ever met, while she still gets her fill with another guy? Since the breakup, I was the first one to contact her via email, but since then...she's been the only one to pursue contact with phone calls.

 

Needless to say, I texted her a nice note today saying 'happy valentines day', but (as I expected) never got a reply. Part of the reason I ended the relationship in the first place is she never reciprocated those types of small sentiments I'd do for her. Wouldn't have surprised me if she was out with this guy even though she told me she was just going to go hang out with her single girlfriend.

 

I don't get it, but I do definitely think now is the time to seriously cut off all contact for good, as this is just all too strenuous on my mind. Her possible motives have my mind spinning, after I had come so far in the healing process and nearly had her completely out of my mind.

[mistie03]

It sounds to me like she is trying to either make you jealous or get you to pursue her.

[s_n_d]

I definitely think she doesnt want you to be with any other woman. Thats why she kept asking you if you had a valentine etc etc...

Either way, You need to be under strict NC. After all the kindness youve shown her, you deserve it back from her..If she cant even be kind to you ALL THE TIME then she doesnt deserve you. You deserve a lot better than what shes giving.

My ex is the same way.. He wont ever text message back or call back or even return an email or an msn message. Im the kind of person who doesnt hold grudges and is hardly ever angry at people..Its hard and it hurts that he cant even REACT to my persistent kindness.

I guess even though our exs have hurt us, some parts of us still think of them the same way and hold them up on a pedestal. They dont deserve anything from us.

[ninjacookies]

I definitely think she doesnt want you to be with any other woman. Thats why she kept asking you if you had a valentine etc etc...

Either way, You need to be under strict NC. After all the kindness youve shown her, you deserve it back from her..If she cant even be kind to you ALL THE TIME then she doesnt deserve you. You deserve a lot better than what shes giving.

My ex is the same way.. He wont ever text message back or call back or even return an email or an msn message. Im the kind of person who doesnt hold grudges and is hardly ever angry at people..Its hard and it hurts that he cant even REACT to my persistent kindness.

I guess even though our exs have hurt us, some parts of us still think of them the same way and hold them up on a pedestal. They dont deserve anything from us.

 

 

Thanks a bunch both of you for your replies. S_N_D: I think you pretty much hit the nail on the head, and this is what my mind had subconsciously been thinking the whole time. I think it's a situation where they only want us but on their terms or whenever 'they' are lonely or need someone to talk to. However, if we show them kind gestures/etc...they really feel no need to reciprocate as it's not on their terms. Yep, NC for me this time...and for good. I guess I wanted to try and see a good side to her and thought maybe time might have changed her, but apparently I was mistaken. She's truly not appreciative of what she had...and still isn't (despite the fact she might think she is)...but I'm long gone and on to a girl that will be of equal service to me without any coercing.

[bejshermanoaks]

im confused by this one..do you love her and want to be with her? how do you feel?