Aquarius Rising Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 Hello forum You may remember me from back in January. All of the posts I received have been helpful. I did hit some stumbling blocks in my attempts at NC with OM and that only deepened the wounds for me. I did not see him but there was some phone contact. For those of you feeling torn between your spouse and the OW/OM, trust me when I say the only way out is NC. For me it was almost like an exorcism. I know that sounds bizarre, but I actually went back to the place we used to meet and ceremonially severed any karmic ties with the OM. That may sound extreme, but it was the only way I could truly begin to honour and respect not only my husband but myself. I have learned also that women generally make a much deeper emotional committment in an affair than a MM. We make more of it, believe it to be more meaningful and special than it actually is. That doesn't mean it is not difficult for men also, but there is more emotional attachment generally for women who get involved in EA. Certainly that was the case for me. It is a long slow journey of recovery. I am still trying to figure out the why's?? and I'm not sure I will ever truly know. I am one of the lucky ones. After confessing, my husband has stood by me, and in the words of the OM, he is honourable and trustworthy, things that he (nor I) will ever truly be again. We live with the guilt forever........
juliegeraci Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 Hi Aquarius, I'm confused. On the other thread you said you had spoken to him and he said he was going away with his wife this weekend. Have you broken NC? What is your plan to try NC again? Have you said goodbye forever yet?
Author Aquarius Rising Posted February 16, 2008 Author Posted February 16, 2008 Hi Julie Yes I have said goodbye forever last week, but he did feel the need to tell me that he was taking his wife away this weekend. He also needed to ask me if he would ever get the feeling back that he used to have. He told me that he went on facebook to search for his FIRST Love and found her. But when they made contact, he didn't have the same feelings for her he had 3 years ago when they made contact (lots of things coming out now....?) I have said goodbye forever but it still seems ridiculously hard. The problem I've realised is that we tell ourselves that we just weren't good enough and we beat ourselves up over it...what do you think? AR
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