Lucky555 Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 So i have posted about this guy that i know i should not be seeing or making contact with and how i always feel compelled to make him happy...people pleaser tendency so to speak. Out of pure heart i was talking to him the other night after breaking NC for 16 days and i broke it OH WELL But i sent him a v-day card by email till after i thought it about not sending it..it was too late he has not sent anything...no happy nothing. I have done this on christmas and new years and he never replies so i say......"why didn't u wish me a ..." yeah its now def. time to say what the heck. I am not hitting on him i just tried to be nice. I am not expecting anything except a happy v-day to you to. Not a very good day and this is not why but it does suck that he does this.
EYECANDY000 Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 Im sorry Lucky .. I can definately see how this can put a damper on your day. Its seems like he is staying true to the NC rule as well, and dont have any intentions on breaking it. Forget about being a people pleaser and please yourself.. Its his lost. He doesnt deserve you any how.
Northstar1984 Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 I send things to people I like - not online, granted, but yeah... I do it. I wouldn't reply to an online card of any kind.. With spam as rife as it is these days, I'd probably assume it was something like that. Even if my at-the-time girlfriend send me an eCard, I'd not reply. It's different if it's a physical gesture.. an actual card through their door, or whatever. I think perhaps you're over thinking it? Does this guy know you like him or has he given you reason to believe he likes you? I know far too many people that get their head caught up in one-sided pseudo-relationships.
jcster Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 I am not hitting on him i just tried to be nice. I am not expecting anything except a happy v-day to you to. Not a very good day and this is not why but it does suck that he does this. You kind of set yourself up for disappointment, you know. Because: I have done this on christmas and new years and he never replies so i say......"why didn't u wish me a ..." yeah its now def. time to say what the heck. And... Out of pure heart i was talking to him the other night after breaking NC for 16 days and i broke it OH WELL You did it to yourself. I know it still sucks, but you can do a lot better than wasting your time with people who want nothing to do with you.
Author Lucky555 Posted February 15, 2008 Author Posted February 15, 2008 he emailed me and thanked me and wished me happy v-day
EYECANDY000 Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 Did you ask why he didnt respond to the other holidays?
Author Lucky555 Posted February 15, 2008 Author Posted February 15, 2008 the other holidays when he didnt respond i would ask him why he didnt and he would make up something and then wish me well for those days. So this time i was going to make it the last straw if he didn't. I told myself if he really wanted to he would and if he didn't then he wouldn't but he did. So i just talked to him and everything is cool. But i was upset because i think i have made an effort and if he didnt want to make one I would be done.
Walk Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 i have made an effort and if he didnt want to make one I would be done Done doing what? Sending him things, or thinking about him, or keeping things on hold waiting on him? It probably would've been kinder of him (in the long run) to not respond at all. His response seems to have reinforced your desire to continue contacting him.
Ruby Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 Hey stop stalking him, he has made it plain that he is not interested
Author Lucky555 Posted February 15, 2008 Author Posted February 15, 2008 well we have friends in common and i would at least like to be friends with him because it would be weird if i just stopped talking to him. I just want things to be good and there is no need for drama. i would be done with him in the sense that if he was not nice enough to respond then Its not good. I accept that there is no we and that were not seeing each other. Its just in the end i rather be civil than dislike him for playing me or leading me on for so long. In the end i just wanted it to be "cool" because of these circumstances. Yeah sure it was hard in the beginning because i felt angry and betrayed but now i am just ready to see whats out there for me. I have been practicing my boundaries and i need to maintain those which i have been getting better at, obviously from sending a card its not 100% but i am getting there. I also know that when we do see each other again that i will not let him "get to me" because i am tired of being lead on and it would take heaven and earth to move me out of my position because of past experience with him. ITs all good and i appreciate feed back. I will not be contacting him at all and if i never speak to him again its fine. I am completely happy about this. I just feel validated for the first time since he actually took the effort to do something nice which i have always done. Its like i have closure. I am out tonight to have fun and my heart is ready for something else. I have learned from people's advise here and i greatly appreciate it. This is also why i am not going to contact him. It was very impulsive that i sent him this card but its time to move my feet forward.
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