Miyamoto Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 why not indulge it? Who can actually prove that pain = bad? Maybe accepting pain is the way to get over it, instead of trying to figure out ways to make it go away
MattyTee Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 why not indulge it? Who can actually prove that pain = bad? Maybe accepting pain is the way to get over it, instead of trying to figure out ways to make it go away Pain, by its very definition is not a good thing. The mind creates pain for you out of situations. Most of this pain, barring actual physical or mental abuse, is self-created and related to ego (in my opinion of course). But you are using the right word, acceptance. The key to breaking through these difficult times, the key to emerging stronger, is first accepting how we feel. By surrendering to what has already happened (and in reality what other options are there?) that pain will already begin to dissipate. For example, my ex left me in August and just after New Year I finally said to myself "God this hurts, but what choice have I got. I can't fight what's happened because it's in the past. I can't change it." The only option I had was to focus on the moment I had right now. The pain is a natural occurence that we needn't fight but we also needn't sacrifice ourselves by indulging in it
Author Miyamoto Posted February 15, 2008 Author Posted February 15, 2008 I have no idea what you mean. First off, why would you write that... Second...what I meant was exactly what Matty wrote... acceptance...the pain of the heart is just like the pain of the leg when you break it...it heals in its own time, and it will not go away before then...but what you do when you have a broken leg is, you accept it, go to the doctor, get your crutches, and move on with life...same with a broken heart... I'm just providing the different perspective to those who understand me and will be healed by it...any one who doesn't understand doesn't need to, because you will be healed by someone else's comments... All you really need to know is that I feel all your pain and though I try to keep it cool, I'm writing to you from the bottom of my heart and the center of my tears. And yes, I do cry. Love is the only reason to live. If you don't understand where I'm coming from then phuc you. If you do, I hope I meet you someday. Blessings.
Trimmer Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 Miyamoto - take a breath - SeraBella may really not have understood what you meant... Take it at face value. I think a useful consideration in this discussion is that the metaphor of "pain" is a fairly one-dimensional one. Physical pain is pretty well-known to us, usually has known causes, and we experience it, in it's different degrees, in pretty much the same way. What we are dealing with here is much more multi-dimensional. Call it grief, and the discussion opens up much more broadly. Grief has elements of loss, sadness, possibly anger, hopelessness.... And while it's easy to lump some or all of these, in their different boiling mixtures and textures as "pain", I think that really filters out and obscures some of the important nuances... So, indulge my pain? Certainly yes... If that means getting past the anger that I use as a defense, so that I can fully experience the loss, which in time may allow my sadness to ease, as I approach that acceptance you speak of. So it's an interesting discussion, but I don't think it's as simple as "pain good, or pain bad?" It has much more complex textures than that.
Lovelybird Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 why not indulge it? Who can actually prove that pain = bad? Maybe accepting pain is the way to get over it, instead of trying to figure out ways to make it go away I don't like to indulge in pain, I used to, but not now. I like to be free, feel free, free from pain and any addiction to any negativeness I used to feel a cut on heart in the past, didn't know where I was standing, quite like falling into a big black bottomless hole, I didn't like it. I guess talk to my invisible dear Friend helped me a lot. I agree that you don't resist the pain, let it flow through, but indulge in it doesn't sound good, when you indulge in it, you are the centre, you become a victim. when you switch your focus from yourself to others, it can lessen the pain. maybe pain is a tool to transcend yourself, it can be a good thing
Ocean-Blue Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 why not indulge it? Who can actually prove that pain = bad? Maybe accepting pain is the way to get over it, instead of trying to figure out ways to make it go away Pain is transitory. It is a necessary evil I think. Without it, one would continue to make the same mistakes, keep stabbing the same wounds. It's good to cry, to feel, to lament. Eventually, you climb out of the hole. Also, the experience of pain allows us the pleasure of appreciating the good times.
Author Miyamoto Posted February 15, 2008 Author Posted February 15, 2008 I accept pain. I'm having to do that right now. It does help. The rabbit makes it all better.
PinkRibbon Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 I'm coming from then phuc you. That's not very nice Miyamoto that is just rude. I didn't know what you meant either because you didn't go into the detail that Matty did.
Author Miyamoto Posted February 15, 2008 Author Posted February 15, 2008 One of the emotions I am COPING with after my breakup is anger...so could you maybe not focus on the cussword so much as more of the message? The message is trying to help people cope as well as help me cope. Could you please do that? Please?? Thank you. :bunny:
PinkRibbon Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 If you don't want focus on the foul language then don't use it. The message gets lost when foul language is used. You know I have read a bunch of your posts and you like to be rude to people that are here coping with the same problems you are. And before you say it I won't be reading any more of them.
SeraBella Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 First off, why would you write that... Second...what I meant was exactly what Matty wrote... acceptance...the pain of the heart is just like the pain of the leg when you break it...it heals in its own time, and it will not go away before then...but what you do when you have a broken leg is, you accept it, go to the doctor, get your crutches, and move on with life...same with a broken heart... I'm just providing the different perspective to those who understand me and will be healed by it...any one who doesn't understand doesn't need to, because you will be healed by someone else's comments... All you really need to know is that I feel all your pain and though I try to keep it cool, I'm writing to you from the bottom of my heart and the center of my tears. And yes, I do cry. Love is the only reason to live. If you don't understand where I'm coming from then phuc you. If you do, I hope I meet you someday. Blessings. I wrote that because I had no idea what you meant. I thought maybe you would expand. Perhaps I should have just asked you to expand. Good luck with what you are going through.
Author Miyamoto Posted February 18, 2008 Author Posted February 18, 2008 If you don't want focus on the foul language then don't use it. The message gets lost when foul language is used. You know I have read a bunch of your posts and you like to be rude to people that are here coping with the same problems you are. And before you say it I won't be reading any more of them. Fine, don't. Bye! Is this an "official" breakup, PinkRibbon? Cuz it's ok if this one happens...
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