fray718 Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 Not exactly 'hurt', but do you miss him like crazy almost to the point where it's unbearable? I see my bf all of Fri, Sat and Sun for the most part because it's the weekend, but during the week I tend to work long hours at times so I might only get to see him on a Tues or Wed night usually. But like on the other other days when I don't see him (or any time I don't have him physically with me for that matter) I just miss him so much! We've only been dating for 3 months, so maybe this is just the infatuation phase right? When will it go away? Sometimes, esp on a week where I go 5 straight weekdays without seeing him due to work, I miss him so much that it feels like it 'hurts.' Hard to bear. And tonight I have to work late for a deadline tomorrow and it's vday yet I can not see him. We said that we'd celebrate when the weekend comes. Gosh, I miss him alot today.
blind_otter Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 Um. No. I feel fine when he's doing his own thing. I feel grand when I'm doing my own thing. The best part is when we see each other after being apart for a while.
Author fray718 Posted February 14, 2008 Author Posted February 14, 2008 Um. No. I feel fine when he's doing his own thing. I feel grand when I'm doing my own thing. The best part is when we see each other after being apart for a while. How long have you been dating your bf? You were always this carefree from the very beginning? Wow, I wish I can be like that. But when me and my bf see each other after say 2-3 days of being apart, he or I would say 'it's nice to see you again' or 'i miss you'...and our eyes have that happy-yet-helpless sparkle to it.
AriaIncognito Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 I hate to say it, but I think when you "hurt" from them not being around for a few days, it tends to mean that the relationship is a little on the dependent or co-dependent side, which isn't usually good for either party. I'd get this way with my ex. I'd always wish I could be seeing him every day. It's really important to feel good both with and without them if you really want to go the long haul. Miss him? Sure, there's nothing wrong with missing someone. There is, however, something wrong when it almost hurts. Life should not revolve around him, because well, if he ever were to leave, what would you be left with?
blind_otter Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 How long have you been dating your bf? You were always this carefree from the very beginning? Wow, I wish I can be like that. But when me and my bf see each other after say 2-3 days of being apart, he or I would say 'it's nice to see you again' or 'i miss you'...and our eyes have that happy-yet-helpless sparkle to it. I've been with him over 2 1/2 years now. I was even more carefree in the beginning.
Lauriebell82 Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 I wouldn't say I "hurt." I only see my bf on the weekends so I really miss him Monday-Friday. But I do what I have to do, work out, go to my internship, study, do work, ect. I miss him terribly and want to be with him but I know that i have other things to do and other things in my life. I'm sorry Fray, I don't think "hurting" is a good sign. Yeah it sucks to not be with someone, but you have to find your own life. Because if the relationship ends, then what are you left with? Plus, men tend to like women who can function without them and who have others things in their life. Here's a tip: when you really feel like you miss him, go out and do something that YOU want to do. What interests do you have? Any hobbies? Keep yourself occupied. That will take some of the "hurt" away.
Citizen Erased Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 Nope. I think about him, but I don't miss him unbearably. But when we didn't live together I did.
Author fray718 Posted February 14, 2008 Author Posted February 14, 2008 Well maybe 'hurt' is an exaggeration. I mean I still work, shop, study, etc...and that's exactly why I can't see him cuz I'm working alot on weekdays, but he is ALWAYS on the back of my mind. And at times I really really miss him terribly! Yes terribly is the word. Funny thing is, I know if he ever left, I'd be fine. My first love broke my heart and after that I never allowed myself to get too attached to anyone. I just hope these feelings of missing my bf so much go away soon! haha. Cuz it really sux to miss someone so much!
Lauriebell82 Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 Funny thing is, I know if he ever left, I'd be fine. My first love broke my heart and after that I never allowed myself to get too attached to anyone. I just hope these feelings of missing my bf so much go away soon! haha. Cuz it really sux to miss someone so much! Wait, huh? I don't get that. You have posted multiple times about how you are worried your bf doesn't care about you or is going to leave you. And you are now saying that you'd be fine if he left. So which is it? I think you are attached, sorry to say. It's not a bad thing, but you have to have other things in your life as well. And it sounds like you do! And missing your bf is NOT going to go away. I actually think it's when you don't miss being around them anymore that the relationship is going downhill. Just remember, absense makes the heart grow fonder!
Author fray718 Posted February 15, 2008 Author Posted February 15, 2008 Wait, huh? I don't get that. You have posted multiple times about how you are worried your bf doesn't care about you or is going to leave you. And you are now saying that you'd be fine if he left. So which is it? I think you are attached, sorry to say. It's not a bad thing, but you have to have other things in your life as well. And it sounds like you do! And missing your bf is NOT going to go away. I actually think it's when you don't miss being around them anymore that the relationship is going downhill. Just remember, absense makes the heart grow fonder! My fears do not stem from 'not being able to live without him' (I was ever only this way with one guy) but rather more of I don't want to feel rejected and have my self esteem crushed. My mind thinks 'i'd rather be the dumper than the dumpee' which ofcourse is a very unhealthy way of thinking. But I guess you are right in that missing him is just going to be a part of the r/s . Gosh it's true what people say, 'love hurts.' If I had the choice, I'd see my bf 24/7 hehe. But yup, you're right abscense does make the hear grow fonder, as it is apparently true for me right now.
AriaIncognito Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 I say break it off with him and learn how to be happy single. My guess is, you wouldn't be very happy with it for a very very long time.
Author fray718 Posted February 15, 2008 Author Posted February 15, 2008 I say break it off with him and learn how to be happy single. My guess is, you wouldn't be very happy with it for a very very long time. I already promised myself that I would NOT break up with him. I just don't think this is a good enough reason to break up with someone. Plus it breaks my heart when I see him heartbroken.
Lauriebell82 Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 My fears do not stem from 'not being able to live without him' (I was ever only this way with one guy) but rather more of I don't want to feel rejected and have my self esteem crushed. My mind thinks 'i'd rather be the dumper than the dumpee' which ofcourse is a very unhealthy way of thinking. But I guess you are right in that missing him is just going to be a part of the r/s . Gosh it's true what people say, 'love hurts.' If I had the choice, I'd see my bf 24/7 hehe. But yup, you're right abscense does make the hear grow fonder, as it is apparently true for me right now. If you were with him 24/7 I guarantee you'd go nuts! I spent 24/7 with my boyfriend for a week 1/2 last year and that even was challenging. I love my bf to death and we had such a great time together, but you start to feel a little suffocated. So just remember that space is good for a relationship. It gives you time to develop as individuals, and in turn helps your relationship grow. I think you are trying, Fray, it's just that since you have inexperience with relationships, this stuff is going to be a little new to you. We are going to try to be patient, but I think challenging your discrepancies in thoughts will help you. If everyone agreed with what you were saying all the time, I highly doubt you would be able to solve anything.
soconfused01 Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 when my boyfriend and i first started dating it was like that for me. I didn't 'hurt' but I was super impatient and anxious all day to see him. it hurts now when we fight and spend time together, but if things are going well, it's not so bad when we're apart.
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