phyonaphan Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 Hi everyone, I’m having a real moment here! BF of 4 years and I broke up on Sunday and have been NC for 2 days. I’ve been feeling ok about it, I’m on this site almost constantly and it’s been a real lifeline! However, I didn’t give back the keys to his place after I went and picked my stuff up on Monday, and I only just thought of them again about an hour ago (seriously!). I’ll come clean and say I’m at a stage where I would like to get back together if we could. I don’t know if I’ll still feel that way in the near future. I haven’t cried since the evening of the breakup, I’ve been feeling ok about it, even the significance of V day hasn’t been getting to me (Lucky I don’t have to go outside today, I’m blocking it out! Lol). I have a padded envelope and initially thought I should post them back, just the keys, nothing else in there. But now I’m thinking maybe I should I write a little note? Ugggh, I don’t even know what I’d say… He knows how I feel already. After the breakup I let him know I was having doubts and wanted to give it another chance. He said he didn’t wan’t either of us to suffer anymore and didn’t want to compromise our future. It wasn’t easy for either of us to come to this decision, he was very emotional when we talked about it, he claims his feelings for me have changed over the last few months and it was best for us both to call it quits. He admits it’s been very hard for him to come clean about that both to himself and me. I’ve been unhappy because I’ve been feeling the distance from him. I stopped saying I love you. I was getting anxious and depressed because of it. I was the one who walked away, but I don’t know now whether I really wanted to do that, or if I just wanted to see some reaction from him to show that he still loved me… I want to maintain my dignity, but at the same time I don’t want to ruin our chances of possibly getting back together. He hasn’t asked for the keys back at all, despite me saying I would leave them here when I got my stuff on Monday. He could, of course, just want to spare my feelings and not demand them back, be on his own NC policy himself, I know that…We’re on good terms and he cares for me. How would he interpret receiving those keys in the mail the day after Valentine’s, no note or anything? Would he see that as me deciding to be 100% out of the relationship? (When I guess I’m not.) Is it better to do it that way? I am standing firm by NC in any other form today for sure, and so far he hasn’t contacted me either. @ me being so neurotic and all over the place, and there I was thinking I was doing so well! P.s. I feel like I know a lot of you already just by reading posts here, so far you’ve all helped me indirectly, thank you so much for that
jerbear Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 (edited) My opinion, 2 days is kinda short for NC; there is some possibility of reconciliation depending on who really broke up with who and why. Distance and stress can do alot of things. If you want it to work out then hold on to the keys for a few more days. After a few days, mail it back to him and keep no contact going. Edited February 14, 2008 by jerbear Just because :)
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