Author peace_pipe Posted February 14, 2008 Author Posted February 14, 2008 No offense, but she sounds like a fcvked-up 12-yr-old dealing with some very "adult" problems. I found this one at work. No offense taken. I understand. She can be the sweetest, most attentive girlfriend when at times. I can't count how many times we've talked for hours on end and she'd say things like "that's awesome that you just said that.".... One day she brought up how most men have a fantasy of being with 2 women. I mentioned that it's really not my thing and i'd rather have one all to myself... she's like: "That is awesome that you just said that." This is how I became involved....
Author peace_pipe Posted February 14, 2008 Author Posted February 14, 2008 Im wondering if your attraction to her was primarily physical and you're just lonely. Very good post. Thank you. I am very lonely. Sometimes it causes me to make bad decisions, I suppose. If it weren't for this overwhelming feeling of defeat and lonliness I wouldn't be posting right now. I feel like I don't know where to turn, what the answers are or what to do differently next time.
spookie Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 I found this one at work. No offense taken. I understand. She can be the sweetest, most attentive girlfriend when at times. I can't count how many times we've talked for hours on end and she'd say things like "that's awesome that you just said that.".... One day she brought up how most men have a fantasy of being with 2 women. I mentioned that it's really not my thing and i'd rather have one all to myself... she's like: "That is awesome that you just said that." This is how I became involved.... Hm. So in common you have: a distaste for threesomes. Good start, but I think that's hardly enough. Where the heck do you work??
Author peace_pipe Posted February 14, 2008 Author Posted February 14, 2008 Hm. So in common you have: a distaste for threesomes. Good start, but I think that's hardly enough. Where the heck do you work?? That's not all, come one. It was just an example. I could give you many more. I work in a real estate office... I manage the IT aspects.
spookie Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 That's not all, come one. It was just an example. I could give you many more. I work in a real estate office... I manage the IT aspects. Interesting. I ask because, in my profession (stripping) there's a lot of coke-dealer babydaddy drama, but even MY work buddies have their heads screwed on straighter than your chick seems to have. No offense. The way she handled things with you was just so asinine IMO. What's the point of burning bridges?
Author peace_pipe Posted February 14, 2008 Author Posted February 14, 2008 Interesting. What's the point of burning bridges? Are speaking on her part or mine? I just burnt a bridge or two of my own by saying what I did to her. I just got to a point where i want her to hate me, it's easier that way. She was doing the thing where she would call and we'd converse like nothing ever happened. I can't do it anymore... she doesn''t want me... but she wanted to keep me hanging for some reason? Why would a girl go through the motions for 5 months, then confess her undying love for an ex with no future, then still persue an emotional bond with me?
Author peace_pipe Posted February 14, 2008 Author Posted February 14, 2008 I ask because, in my profession (stripping) there's a lot of coke-dealer babydaddy drama, but even MY work buddies have their heads screwed on straighter than your chick seems to have. I've never met a coke dealer with good character. Why would a woman want this? Just curious, how many ladies would persue this man??
spookie Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 Are speaking on her part or mine? I just burnt a bridge or two of my own by saying what I did to her. I just got to a point where i want her to hate me, it's easier that way. I was referring to the way she treated you. IMO telling someone you "never cared" takes you past the point of no return. She was doing the thing where she would call and we'd converse like nothing ever happened. I can't do it anymore... she doesn''t want me... but she wanted to keep me hanging for some reason? Why would a girl go through the motions for 5 months, then confess her undying love for an ex with no future, then still persue an emotional bond with me? Why do you still care??? Some people are irrational. You're trying to make sense of someone senseless. What kind of outcome are you hoping for at this point? You sound like a nice guy but I think your taste in women really sucks!
spookie Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 I've never met a coke dealer with good character. Why would a woman want this? Just curious, how many ladies would persue this man?? Everybody's into different s!ht. It takes all types. At the end of the day it's an irrelevant question.
Mustang Sally Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 Peacepipe - I'm struck by the fact that, despite multiple red flags, alarms a-blasting, and the four horsemen of the apocalypse preceeding and trailing this girl, you still got involved with her because she "came at you like a freight train." I mean this with nothing but caring and concern, dear, but it sounds like you might have some real self-esteem issues to work through if this and other baggage-laden chicks are what you usually end up in LTRs with. Really. I believe if you get yourself right with YOURSELF, then you will be able to keep on walkin' (in the right direction) when an inappropriate woman comes at you (freight train or no). You deserve much better, hon.
Author peace_pipe Posted February 14, 2008 Author Posted February 14, 2008 What kind of outcome are you hoping for at this point? A) That I can get over it as quickly as possible and find a new girl to date. B) That she has an emotional breakdown after this sinks in, realizes she screwed up, and comes back with a heartfelt apology and shows her true self.
spookie Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 B) That she has an emotional breakdown after this sinks in, realizes she screwed up, and comes back with a heartfelt apology and shows her true self. Ever hear that phrase... how does it go... if it walks like a duck quacks like a duck??? If you're holding out some hope that she's a different person from the one's she's shown you, please know that the chances are real, real slim. Like 0%.
spookie Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 A) That I can get over it as quickly as possible and find a new girl to date. How about... get over it as quickly as possible and take some time off to examine why your standards are so low that you would ignore all the blasting alarms, the flashing red lights...
Author peace_pipe Posted February 14, 2008 Author Posted February 14, 2008 How about... get over it as quickly as possible and take some time off to examine why your standards are so low that you would ignore all the blasting alarms, the flashing red lights... I know what you are saying and it wasn't like that. I stayed away for months and eventually she wore me down. I thought she was into me by how she was behaving. I thought there was a chance she really liked me and was ready and stable enough to move forward. I have convictions but at the end of the day I am first and formost human. Everyone has red flags. Many cute women have these sort of problems. Have to take a chance sometime. Does that answer your question?
mental_traveller Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 I did. I honestly did. And she kept coming on like a freight train... That part of me that believes in people and in love told me to give it a chance. I'm a risk taker, I feel like love is a risk no matter what. I got burned... I can't believe there are people out there who would do this and feel NOTHING. Well you took your "risk" and you got the expected reward. Question is, are you gonna keep doing that all your life or are you gonna learn from the mistake and avoid repeating it?
mental_traveller Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 And they way to deal with it is call me a DICK? Write it off on me? I stand up for myself, put her issues in her face and I am a DICK. I think a thank you would be more appropriate. I don't know a lot of guys that would even care enough... If I think her ex is a loser, I am judgemental... I don't like the word "loser" too much myself. There is nothing logical about it. Thanks... Expecting an immature, screwed up young woman to be rational? That sounds like pretty *irrational* behaviour on your part.
Jilly Bean Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 PP - IMO, this has NOTHING to do with her, and her motives, and her head space. I just question what is going on with you that you would ever get involved in such a train wreck. I wonder if you have any boundaries in place - I mean, not to sound harsh here, but healthy people would avoid this situation at all costs. It doesn't matter how long you resisted - you STILL went for it. I think there are a LOT of take-aways for you, here. I sincerely hope you take the time to think about your role in all of this, what you were hoping to accomplish, why you were attracted to this situation, etc. Doing this work, being brutally honest with yourself on the answers, is where you can do some learning and self-discovery. Then this will not have been an exercise for naught...
Mahatma Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 Your problem is you are attracting these types of problems. As soon as I read she had a bf in jail I could totally relate to these types. If shes dating this guy, she likes a guy thats on the edge. You are there trying to be her savior, but you can't save them. If this is a concurrent problem you need to stop trying to help all these girls with problems. I mean be a friend and give advice, but don't get involved sexually or even mentally.
Author peace_pipe Posted February 18, 2008 Author Posted February 18, 2008 She called me Saturday night, drunk. It was late. It's hard to keep my distance from this girl. So hard.
Woggle Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 She called me Saturday night, drunk. It was late. It's hard to keep my distance from this girl. So hard. It's actually quite easy. Tell her to stop calling and hang up as soon as she calls.
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