onmyownagain Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 If you are coming out of a relationship, maybe a very long one. If there was a magic pill that could remove all trace of them from your memory, so no pain, would you take it?
Trimmer Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 No. To me that would represent stagnating myself, going back to a place I was and the person I was long ago. I see both my relationship and the difficult and painful journey after it ended as journeys forward in my life. To erase all of that would be like wasting the last 20 years, as I would be no further along in my life's journey, but I would still be these 20 years older. In spite of the pain along the way, and in some cases because of it, my relationship and its ending have both brought me great gifts. (And I'll get out of the way the obligatory reference to the movie The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, which I quite enjoyed...)
phyonaphan Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 Not a chance. I'm saying this having just come out of a 4 year relationship last Sunday. I guess it was a mutual decision, but I'm experiencing emotional highs and lows, self-reflecting, experiencing regret although I know there is no chance of us getting back together. At the point where I'm at now though I would probably take him back if he changed his mind and felt the same way. Despite the pain this Valentine's day, there is no way on earth I would ever give up what we shared together. I don't want to forget anything. I want to keep all those good memories somewhere, because to forget them would be such a waste, not the time I spent with him. He was my first love and I was with him since I was 18, I'm 22 now. So these were really formative years for me, and I'm glad he was part of them. That pill would be a long term solution to short term pain. xxooxx
strife Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 No, my ex gave me tons of happiness and made me a better person. No one can take my memories away! I'm going to be optimistic and say the pain is just temporary (yeah, right).
Lyssa Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 No, I wouldn't. It would not make me the person I am today and I have learned a lot from the pain and happiness that my ex-es have caused me.
NiceGirlcomeslast Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 I think I would. As much as I learnt in my relationship right now I would have prefered not to have those moments than to have had them and lost them. I was happier thinking no one loved me or ever would than now knowing people can love me but it wont be enough and that they will hurt me. I feel like we didn't have a life together he had his life and he *infected* my life and now everything in my life reminds me of him and if I had that pill I could have my life back... I want my life back. Maybe today is a bad day...
Ocean-Blue Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 I would and I wouldn't. I learned a great deal about myself while I was with my ex. He taught me many things...about unconditional, unselfish love, friendship, etc. I realize that this is something that is very rare. Had it not been for that relationship, I wouldn't have known that it's possible to have that. BUT. I spent a great of my life with him. Too much time. I lost precious time trying to fall in love with a man that I could never really love in that way. So that way, yes, I want to forget because I formed some very warped ideas of love and passion. I forced myself to feel something for so long that I pushed myself into being someone I wasn't. All those years of trying have done a number on me. I'm currently a very dysfunctional lover. Not good. So I don't know...
shadowofman Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 No. Then I would make the same mistakes all over again.
PinkRibbon Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 I would take what ever pill it took to erase my memory of him. Every last little bit of him gone out of my life and out of my mind. I wouldn't care what I learned from the experience of having my heart broken and spit upon. And I certainly wouldn't care about our "wonderful" memories together because apparently to him they were a lie so bring on the red pill!
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 I think I would. The relationship was more of a destructive force than an instructive one. I lost more than I gained, and moreover lost a chance to put things to right in my previous relationship to this one.
MissTiss Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 No. I wouldn't. I have to live and learn, even if it hurts like hell. Reminds me of the movie: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I still am not sure I like the movie, but it is worth a look given your question.
tinktt Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 I'm with you. Pinkribbon! I don't need those memories because they are tainted. I have other learning memories that I can draw upon if I need them, not the ones from this past relationship. So bring it on, and I will take it with champagne!!!!!!!!!
richardcruz Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 I'd take 3-4 of em just to make sure that none of the memories resurface. The way she treated me at the ended trumped over any of the good that happened during the relationship. As far as I 'm concerned, those were her true colors all along. I can do without the memories. They're pointless and just hurt.
Ariadne Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 If you are coming out of a relationship, maybe a very long one. If there was a magic pill that could remove all trace of them from your memory, so no pain, would you take it? Yes. I'd take it. I wish I had never met Denver guy. I don't want to know that I met my soulmate and he is living with someone else.
sandflea Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 You don't need this pill. You need to make new memories to replace the old ones. All the bad stuff goes away when you start living again. 2 cents. SF
realgone Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 a month ago i definitely would've, but now i don't think so. the pain was so intense at first that i couldn't see ever feeling good again, and i would've done basically anything to make it stop. things are still f***d now, but so much better. time really does heal these wounds, though when you're in the middle of it it doesn't seem possible. i guess i just wish i'd broken up with her a long time ago, but i don't wish to forget everything.
EnigmaXOXO Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 I always said there was billions to made for anyone who could invent the relationship “patch”. But amnesia or hypnosis to erase any Memory? ... NOT for me. Otherwise, I’d forget all I learned from the last time around and keep making the same mistakes over and over again.
Trimmer Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 I always said there was billions to made for anyone who could invent the relationship “patch”. But amnesia or hypnosis to erase any Memory? ... NOT for me. Otherwise, I’d forget all I learned from the last time around and keep making the same mistakes over and over again. So what would the "patch" do? Feed low, steady levels of endorphins and seratonin into you so you'd feel the satisfaction and comfort of having a relationship without all the nasty side effects of "lighting up"?
Trialbyfire Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 (edited) As long as the magic pill set me back in biological age, as at the beginning, yes, I would take the pill. Then, if the pill worked effectively, it would alert me to not pass Go!, sending me directly to jail if I chose to proceed. Edited February 14, 2008 by Trialbyfire
EnigmaXOXO Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 So what would the "patch" do? Feed low, steady levels of endorphins and seratonin into you so you'd feel the satisfaction and comfort of having a relationship without all the nasty side effects of "lighting up"? I’m thinking more along the lines of something that would deliver a mild electric shock every time those endorphins and seratonin levels raised at the thought of some jerk or jerkette who mistreated you. We could call it the “Sucker” patch, even print it in big bold letters across the front. Even if you acquired a resistance to the sting after awhile, you could still wear it on your forehead and humiliate yourself into cold-turkeying that loser.
cant let go Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 If you are coming out of a relationship, maybe a very long one. If there was a magic pill that could remove all trace of them from your memory, so no pain, would you take it? ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!!! I want this more than anything. I loved my ex so much but I will give anything to forget he ever existed. I don't want to remember him and all the great times we had together because they just remind me that he didn't think they were great enough to hold on to. Every thing I remember feels like it was a lie anyway. I look back and every time I see him smile or hear him say he loved me... all a lie!!!! I just want to forget all of it. make it go away... make it go away NOW!!! augh.... it has been a VERY VERY rough day. Actually, i was fine until i just saw my ex no doubt waiting for his b!tch girlfriend. I saw the back of him and he didn't see me. I feel like I'm ready to hate him now. The hope has died. Now I'm just angry. He's not worth my love not even my friendship. I'm moving in 2 weeks. I'll never have to see or speak to him again. That's when the true coping will begin.
EYECANDY000 Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 I would take it! As much as my ex and I had great times we had some bad times as well. I would love to be back to the stages I was at before I met him. And that stage was not knowing what it felt like to have your heart bbroken. Ive learned a lot of things from him, but those things I could have learned on my own in the process. Having your heart broken isnt a great feeling, and I have experienced it for the first time, because I decided to open my heart and let someone in my world.
sandflea Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 Nah. Not for me. There's really nothing that a few pale ales can't improvise on anyway. I think a few years does wonder to help someone (mayby yourself) romanticize anyway. That's what all those LS'ers are pining about their ex's for - they're longing for the past, a vision in their heads of how things "used to be". Boys and girls - never such a time existed. Life was never that great... I mean, COME ON~! Your ex and you had some fun, yes, but at some level it was a PITA - and you know it! The sooner you admit that ~ that it WASN'T a perfect relationship, and that it wasn't such a great time - is the moment you actually get past this. It didn't work, and at the end it sucked. It's always good at the beginnning... Making love last is the most worthwhile yet least understood - and certainly least PRACTICED art in the world. If you guys can do it, pray for the rest of us. Regardless, I prefer the trying than the surrender. SF
Author onmyownagain Posted February 15, 2008 Author Posted February 15, 2008 I posted the original question and for the record I wouldn't take the pill myself. But, if I could have a remote like in the film click to fast forward a bit on cruise control then perhaps that would be the better option. Would still have all the misery but the days would wizz by. I think a quick fast forward 6 months would be a good starting point. If I am still sad when I get there then push fast forward again.
Taramere Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 If you are coming out of a relationship, maybe a very long one. If there was a magic pill that could remove all trace of them from your memory, so no pain, would you take it? The only relationship break up that seemed to have a seriously detrimental effect on me was, with hindsight, necessary to make me grow up a bit. I think everyone has that big heartbreak at some point. The longer you spend trying to guard against anyone hurting you like that, the harder it hits when it does happen. If I had another relationship break up that was threatening to leave me feeling as bad as I did a few years back, I wouldn't take a memory-killing pill (were such a thing available)...but I would use hypnotherapy to speed up the process of shrinking that person's significance in my mind. I've used it for tackling other problems, and find it very good. As character-building and insight-giving as emotional pain and heartbreak can be, life is also supposed to be lived and enjoyed as much as feasible, and there's not a person alive whose sudden, unexplained loss of love for/interest in you is worth months of your time wasted in a foggy depression. I say do whatever is reasonable, possible and healthy in order to shrink that person into insignificance as quickly you can....but you can do it without the aid of a memory killing pill.
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