OfTheGood Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 (edited) Hello, I’m back again…..and as you all know, it’s that dreaded day. The day that some of us on here loathe. I think today is a test for some. For some people on NC such as me, it will be a test of will and heart. Will we pass or fail? Will this day bring us sadness, or surprise? I realized yesterday that it will be a bit over 4 months since my ex and I broke it off, and a day to the month since I’ve spoken with her. (Please read my post for some background) Needless to say this is hard, me being the type of person who is worried that the longer I spend away from my ex, the harder it will be for us to reconnect. I am not the type to worry day and night about whom she’s with or what she’s doing, but I do REALLY miss her, and I am to the point where I badly want to find a way to reconnect, however I do not want to initiate it. I have made the commitment to myself that I would not. I have put away the pictures, erased the emails, and took her cell number off my phone. I feel so conflicted, and I think it’s the fact that I realized that today was the one month NC milestone. On one hand, I feel confident that we had a long (2 1/2 years), fun and exciting relationship that was really good and comfortable, and we both cared for each other very much. I would even go on to say that ours was the “best”, if you will, relationship she’s had. However, the NC on her part scares, and worries me….to be honest, I expected SOMETHING by now. I worry about her thinking I’ve moved on and her being afraid and/or nervous to see to me. I worry about her being scared of talking to me, since it’s been a while. I worry that she may have moved on to some other guy, or how she may be trying to push me out of her head. I worry that our relationship was crappier than I thought it was. (Please read my story) I can tell myself about how much of a “catch” I was, and how “one day” she will come around, but the fact that she’s not here, and the fact that she hasn’t called-in a month-gets me down and I can’t push out those feelings of worry despair. I won’t eat chocolate today, but I will think of her. I will continue NC and I will not call her. One caveat; I know now I would like to have this person as my life partner, and I fully realize her value to me. Opinions? Thanks! P.S. I hope you ALL stay strong and feel as good as possible tomorrow. It's going to be tough, but we can ALL get through it. Edited February 14, 2008 by OfTheGood Added more text
s_n_d Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 Today is bittersweet for me. I already miss him a lot and the day has JUST started for me. I dreamt about him last night. But I will not break my NC. Today I have reached the 15 day mark on NC...The longest I have ever done NC for. Im so proud of myself for coming this far and I WONT break it at this point unless he initiates any contact. Today shouldnt be TOO TOO bad for me. My family and I are going out to dinner tonight so that should keep my mind off him for tonight atleast. Im dreading tomorrow because if he doesnt initiate any contact today (and I KNOW he wont..) Ill be super depressed tomorrow. Thank God my friends and I are going out all day tomorrow. Happy Valentines day everyone!!
prisonbreak Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 S N D- I feel the exact same way about dreading tomorrow because he won't contact today. I'm around 18 days NC and that's the longest we've gone also. Today is a perfect day for some sort of contact, even a "Hi" from him. I'm glad you have something to do tomorrow that should get you up and going. I just have a feeling i'll be crying myself to sleep tonight. So sad. so sad. so sad.
dfreeman Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 S N D- I feel the exact same way about dreading tomorrow because he won't contact today. I'm around 18 days NC and that's the longest we've gone also. Today is a perfect day for some sort of contact, even a "Hi" from him. I'm glad you have something to do tomorrow that should get you up and going. I just have a feeling i'll be crying myself to sleep tonight. So sad. so sad. so sad. Today is also a perfect day to tell yourself that you did something that MOST people in your situation can't even imagine doing! I have to admit with all honesty - if I did not find LS, I would have (at a mere minimum) sent my ex a sappy little "just thinking of you today" e-mail. Now, I wouldn't contact her today if you handed me a thousand bucks to do so. 18 days of NC is AWESOME - be proud of yourself and celebrate the big #19 cuz it is HUGE! Before you just accept that you will cry yourself to sleep tonight, remember that you are doing the work on yourself that you couldn't do before you went NC AND your stories/questions/heartaches are helping so many others that are also in great pain
Author OfTheGood Posted February 16, 2008 Author Posted February 16, 2008 ............the NC on her part scares, and worries me….to be honest, I expected SOMETHING by now. I worry about her thinking I’ve moved on and her being afraid and/or nervous to see to me. I worry about her being scared of talking to me, since it’s been a while. I worry that she may have moved on to some other guy, or how she may be trying to push me out of her head. I worry that our relationship was crappier than I thought it was. (Please read my story) I can tell myself about how much of a “catch” I was, and how “one day” she will come around, but the fact that she’s not here, and the fact that she hasn’t called-in a month-gets me down and I can’t push out those feelings of worry despair.
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