micahmo77 Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 So its been 15 days for me NC. Tonight im so upset, I was looking through old pictures which I know I shouldnt be doing. Plus I know its valentines day tomorrow, we had plans together! I just broke down in tears picked the phone and almost called her. I keep thinking about sending her a simple text for valentines day, just saying that I love her and care for her, or that im thinking of her. Maybe tell her that shes the only one that makes me feel this way, and that I would always be here for her. I guess whats stopping me is the fact that I dont know if she would even pick up or answer back, that would really drive me into devestation. GOD, tonight brings me back to day one when she crushed me with the breakup. Anyway thought I would share my emotions with the LS friends. Better than breaking NC I guess. Valentines day tomorrow guys, hope you all have a great one.
prisonbreak Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 Micah- I feel ya today. For some reason today has just been aweful. I cried a lot. It kind of does feel like day 1 for me too. Hang in there. Tomorrow is going to be a rough one, because I know he won't contact me. If he doesn't, I'm going to give up all hope. It's going to be so depressing. I even composed an email, saved it in my drafts folder, that I could send him tomorrow, but I know I won't. It just felt good writing it. It sounds to me that she's running right now, running from her feelings. It'll catch up with her. It's all up to you how long your willing to wait. So, try to stay positive tomorrow and tonight. I'm thinking of ya!
becauseofyou Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 I really feel for you micahmo. It's a difficult day when you've recently ended a relationship. Good on you for not calling her though - I think, like you say, it could make things a million times worse if it doesn't work out. Try and spend tomorrow thinking about yourself, not her. Maybe buy yourself a treat, chocolates, a dvd, or something you've wanted for ages. Spend what you would have spent on her on yourself. You deserve a treat and hopefully it will distract you for a while and make you happy! Do you have any single friends you can have round for a "guys night"? Might be a good idea too. Best of luck with it all!
Author micahmo77 Posted February 14, 2008 Author Posted February 14, 2008 Thanks for your support, im sorry your going through the same crap. I guess its the anticipation for tomorrow to come and go quick. I wonder if our exes our thinking about us, if were going to contact them. Dont lose hope if he dosent contact you tomorrow prison. Like you said maybe their feelings will catch up to them. I know she wont contact me tomorrow either, im not gonna give up though, she was my best bud. Im thinking maybe if we dont initiate contact for a couple more weeks. Guess its the month rule, we could make a phone call just to say hello and a how ya been! Well im going to go sleep this off, all these emotions are draining, all teared out. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP PRISON
Author micahmo77 Posted February 14, 2008 Author Posted February 14, 2008 I appreciate that becauseofyou, thank you for understanding. I think ill just watch a movie tomorrow and try not to think about where and who shes with. Its really amazing how times change, thinking back this was a romantic happy day together in love. Well have a good night becauseofyou, thanks again.
sedgwick Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 One year ago today was one of the happiest days of my life. He dumped me 7 months ago and I still remember last Valentine's Day like it was yesterday. The most incredible one I ever had, and I am still madly in love with him. Ah well.
richardcruz Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 Michamo: I read your post and I had to respond. Your situation sounds alot like mine. My ex was really mad at me the last time I saw her. It has taken me some time to get it in my head that I can't regret what I did at the end. Yeah I did all the breakup no no's (crying, begging, going to her house) but I finally had to realize that this wasn't the reason why we broke up. Rather it was because she needed time apart and was losing feelings for me even prior to my actions. The way I see it is like this. My ex left me for a total of 4 times throughout a 1 year period..and after a few days she would always call me back and ask for my forgiveness. And time and time again, I would take her back because I l_v_d her. Was it the smartest thing to do in restrospect? Of course not. But the point is that I did take her back. Now I think to myself, If my ex truly l_v_d me, she would've taken me back even though I cried and begged for her, because after all the only reason I did all those things was because she was putting me through this in the first place. So whatever you did that she is mad at you for, dont be so hard on yourself. I'm glad you didn't send the text. Take it from me, it wouldn't make a difference if she's mad. I went to personally go see my ex before I intiated NC and she completely ignored me and drove off..It is definetely true when people say that there are no magic words to get her back. I tried over and over and over and nothing worked. Things just got worse and worse. The only way she'll come back is 100% completely on her own. Don't break your NC. I my last one at the 15 day mark w text and it was devastated to me when she responded that she didn't want me to ever contact her again. Your relationship with your ex was obviously different from mine but its still best not to take chances. I too think that your ex as well as my ex are running from their feelings and that they will have to face them sooner or later, and it wil feel like a ton of bricks. I have given up ALL hope of my ex ever returning. My ex was just way to cold to me and was very unremorseful. Deep deep down inside there is a glimmer of hope that wants her to come back but thats just a small part of me that still lives in a fantasy world. That part of me is complete BS and I know it. Thats just me playing myself. Its easier for me to give up hope than to hold on In other words, if you set the bar extremely low, you cant dissapointed with even the worst of outcomes. But do whatever makes gettin through this easier for you. If holding on to hope makes it easier for you to move on, then do it. STAY NC..Trust me..its the only way. I took advice from an LS'er by the name of VIVRANTFLO and he told me to stop counting my nc days because it just makes me focus on the time which does not help the situation, so all I know is that I'm somewhere past the 15 day mark but not past the month mark yet. Its been really hard michamo, I mean there will be days when I just come home from work and cry, but i guess I've started to realize that I kind of have to self soothe myself because nobody is going to be there to make it better (and by nobody I mean her). This has kind of reduced the urge for me to call or text her anymore.
Recommended Posts