virtuzoso Posted February 13, 2008 Posted February 13, 2008 Having been single for a long time, its really very cool when you want to be single. When you dont, it just plain sucks. Thought I'd share that, probably some others feel the same.
Tony T Posted February 13, 2008 Posted February 13, 2008 Having been single for a long time, its really very cool when you want to be single. When you dont, it just plain sucks. Thought I'd share that, probably some others feel the same. So which is it...do you want to be single or do you not? Despite the vagueness, thanks for sharing! By the same, it very cool to be poor if you want to be poor. But when you don't it just plain SUCKS! I can say without hesitation that right now, it SUCKS!
Author virtuzoso Posted February 13, 2008 Author Posted February 13, 2008 Right now, I hate it. I was fine with it for a long time, but the second you decide you dont want to be, it becomes pretty terrible. Maybe its just the Valentine's/Holidays blues, but it can be kind of rough. Just making that observation.
Tony T Posted February 13, 2008 Posted February 13, 2008 Right now, I hate it. I was fine with it for a long time, but the second you decide you dont want to be, it becomes pretty terrible. Maybe its just the Valentine's/Holidays blues, but it can be kind of rough. Just making that observation. The grass is always greener.... There are a LOT of people in relationships who wish they were out of them. There are a LOT more people not in relationships who wish they had somebody. I think it's the nature of many human beings not to be satisfied no matter what their state. Cheer up, Valentine's Day lasts only 24 hours. Wars can last years.
Florida Posted February 13, 2008 Posted February 13, 2008 Being single is not bad at all unless, I always liked it, until I met someone who made me feel they offered more than the joy I received in my autonomy being single. The only things that make being single bad are: -you were dumped pretty badly and hurting badly. -you have to see the ex madly in love with their new SO, after they dumped you, giving them all the god things they never gave you. -seeing other couples who seem to have the perfect relationship, supporting oneanother and making sure everyone knows how in love they are. In conclusion, being single isn't bad, it is the other people around onesself that can make it feel bad, depending on how one came to being single.
CaliGuy Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 Having been single for a long time, its really very cool when you want to be single. When you dont, it just plain sucks. Thought I'd share that, probably some others feel the same. I'm enjoying my single-dom to the max! I can do anything I want, whenever I want! I consider it a blessing to be single and happy (which I am) rather than being married or dating and miserable.
LoveLace Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 I've always either been alone or just unfulfilled. I'm kind of tired of both. My last love and long-term thing ended over 10 years ago...since that day I thought, I can't wait to meet the next lucky guy...well I've met lots but none know how lucky they are. I never dreamed I'd still be waiting now. I swore I'd move away if I didn't have someone new by 25. Now I'm 31, still here! If it weren't for mom needing me so much, I'd be outta here!...I think my lack of meeting new guys has some to do with where I live..like an imbalanced ratio of men to women or something..
latefragment Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 does your mom live alone? was she a single parent? i'm in a similar situation, my mom's kind of needy and i feel like i need to be relatively close by to her, and i'm racked with a lot of guilt... she guilt trips me big time.
LoveLace Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 does your mom live alone? was she a single parent? i'm in a similar situation, my mom's kind of needy and i feel like i need to be relatively close by to her, and i'm racked with a lot of guilt... she guilt trips me big time. Gee how'd ya guess..yes the divorce was when I was 14, she had a boyfriend for a several years but a few yrs. ago she decided she just didn't want him anymore. So yes she's alone since. She drives me nuts. If I moved too far away she would have a cow. And now that I'm in a real financial bind while finishing school, I"m going to have to live with her again for a while. Just the thought of it makes me cringe.
latefragment Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 my mom was a single parent too from when i was 3. yeah, she goes nuts, in the past, when I HAVE moved far away. Now I live a couple hours' drive and she still is on my case. I did live with her for 2 years and she was the happiest then. It makes me very sad that she is sad. So I totally get what you're saying about it making you want to cringe.
Lizzie60 Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 I love being single... I love MY space, I enjoy MY money, I enjoy MYSELF to the max... I wouldn't trade my life for anything in the world right now... I do what I want, when I want, with who I want, where I want... It's all about ME... all the time... Why would someone NOT like that.. Being single does not mean being alone..
Kamille Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 It could be nostalgia, but I love loving being single. It is such an amazing feeling. What I like most about it is how independant I get. I usually get supersocial and end up meeting a bunch of people. Although for now I'm super happy to have found someone I can hibernate with...
Blue Eyed Brain Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 I'm enjoying my single-dom to the max! I can do anything I want, whenever I want! I consider it a blessing to be single and happy (which I am) rather than being married or dating and miserable. Cool post.
LoveLace Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 If your someone who's experienced both a long-term, involved relationship, followed by a new-found freedom of self through being single, you'll enjoy singledom quite a bit and probably for a long time. I haven't been in a true, loving relationship since I was a teenager, and I'm 31 now. So singledom, to me, is all I really know. I want to experience the reverse of what newly-happy single people do..and think aahhh this is so much better I could do this for a while, about a new relationship. Being single for THIS long gets very repetitious and unfulfilling just like some might say about their long-lasting relationships.
latefragment Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 I agree with you 100%. unfortunately in these situations there isn't much else you can do but "try" to be happy "alone" and maybe you will achieve it. I will let you know what I get there. LOL. but don't hold your breath.
Els Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 I'm a little curious, actually. Why would those of you who are 100% happy with being single visit LS regularly? I mean, if that's the case, you wouldn't even be thinking about relationships, right? And if you aren't thinking about them, why regularly post/read forums which are about them? Really, I'm posting this because I'm curious, not to be sarcastic or anything. Of course there's nothing wrong with being single, nothing wrong with not ever wanting to be in a relationship, even the 'right' one. Just that most of those people would not even have looked for LS in the first place.
Taramere Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 There are degrees of happiness. Being in a really bad relationship, or encountering the early stages of losing one you thought was good, comes close to zero. Being in a relationship with someone you connect emotionally, sexually and intellectually with probably comes close to 100%. As long as you're single, you stay away from either of those extremes. I've tried having relationships with guys I dated who seemed to like me, but who I just didn't connect to in all those ways. It made me unhappy. Regardless of pressure other people put me under to be in a relationship, I'm not going to hurt myself or anyone else by role-playing a level of intimacy I don't really feel. I enjoy pottering about in my own little space, so I'm definitely happier being single than I am giving up that personal space and privacy for someone I'm not genuinely excited about. Not that I'm suggesting for a moment that the world is full of couples who are faking it/settling it. I think some people find it relatively easy to make the triple connection with others, and I envy them that. It must be a great way to be.
Trialbyfire Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 Having been single for a long time, its really very cool when you want to be single. When you dont, it just plain sucks. Thought I'd share that, probably some others feel the same. The freedom from being single, can almost be intoxicating. To be able to place every box/container, lined up perfectly on a shelving unit, can be near orgasmic from an OCD perspective. It's a very easy way to acquire a selfishness and inability to compromise, even about the least significant details of your life. I can easily see why people, including myself, enjoy the freedom. But... (of course ) It's nice to be able to share your life with someone compatible, someone you can experience little things with, like the pleasure of laughing together over something silly.
Lizzie60 Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 I'm a little curious, actually. Why would those of you who are 100% happy with being single visit LS regularly? I mean, if that's the case, you wouldn't even be thinking about relationships, right? And if you aren't thinking about them, why regularly post/read forums which are about them? Really, I'm posting this because I'm curious, not to be sarcastic or anything. Of course there's nothing wrong with being single, nothing wrong with not ever wanting to be in a relationship, even the 'right' one. Just that most of those people would not even have looked for LS in the first place. Why do we (happy singles) visit LS regularly? Because we have all our time to ourselves. I can eat or go out when I want to.. other than work, I have no schedules. I find this forum because I was looking for OW/OM forums... I found this one.. and I loved the concept.. all kinds of people.. we make cyber friends... I know .. I know.. but still.. I surf from work also.. so when it's quiet at work I surf the Internet... On LS it's not about looking for a relationship.. it depends what you're looking for .. and I'm not looking for a relationship.. I like the exchanges on LS... I have been through a lot in my life.. so I think I am qualified to give advices and what not. So eventhough I know some people are probably on LS because they are lonely, others are not.. it's addictive... and fun.
Gold Pile Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 A couple or a single, each has it's pro's and con's. I find relationships to be smothering so ultimately I'll always be happier single. But a good woman can be handy!: She can taste the milk when I'm not sure if it's still fresh. She can walk with me to keep gays away. She can tie my tie. Did I mention sex?
marlena Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 Yes, There some good minds on here and some of the posts are good reading. And like Lizzie said, when you are single, you have lots of time to do whatever it is that you want to do. After being in two LTRs plus some not so long term plus a looooooong marriage, I cherish being single. It's stress-free and lots of fun if you want it to be. Perspective, I guess.
Lizzie60 Posted February 16, 2008 Posted February 16, 2008 A couple or a single, each has it's pro's and con's. I find relationships to be smothering so ultimately I'll always be happier single. But a good woman can be handy!: She can taste the milk when I'm not sure if it's still fresh. She can walk with me to keep gays away. She can tie my tie. Did I mention sex? And a good man can also be handy .. at times: . check the car . shovel the driveway . fix some stuff in the house . open the pickle jars . and sex... I'm with you on that one..
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