rocks08 Posted February 13, 2008 Posted February 13, 2008 I'm in that stage when I feel horribly guilty about my affair, and about constantly going back to the OM after many break-ups. The OM is married, with kids, and so am I. I want to make my marriage work, as my hubby's put his heart and soul into it after a failed 3 years of marriage. I went into the affair with a loveless marriage and serious esteem issues (couldn't get out for the same reason... worse, kept going back like an addiction)... We're in the same workplace, and I've toyed with the idea of emailing him and saying its over. But that appears really cruel. Asked to met him for lunch today so I could end it then, but he said he was busy (he knows what's coming his way, so he's probably avoiding it). He's a very sensitive sort of guy, so I want to know what exactly I should say to him when I'm ending it, and how I should do it. Also, hubby, he and I are in a very close-knit profession, and I don't want gossip and public humiliation for anyone, especially since OM's going through a bad phase at work. How do I then confess to my husband? The last time I told him I was having an emotional affair, he hinted at harming OM, and i'm scared.
whichwayisup Posted February 13, 2008 Posted February 13, 2008 Start by fixing yourself and go to counselling. You have self esteem issues, go sort that out, get strong enough so you can either divorce your husband or end your affair. To stay on the path you're on now, ALOT of people are going to be hurt, including ALL the kids. If people find out, it's your and the OM's fault because you're allowing "it" to happen. You two need to think of others first and not just what you and he want. If you don't want gossip and problems, then fix your marriage and forget the OM completely. Again, counseling will help you. You cannot control what your husband does or how he reacts to your cheating. You two need marriage counselling though, and he probably should go on his own too.
justice Posted February 13, 2008 Posted February 13, 2008 It's simple and I'm not being mean here, but the best way to avoid these problems is to NOT have affairs of any kind, that way you won't have to lie or tell your H.
Cobra_X30 Posted February 13, 2008 Posted February 13, 2008 How do I then confess to my husband? The last time I told him I was having an emotional affair, he hinted at harming OM, and i'm scared. Too late to worry about gossip. It should not be that bad anyway. Do you really think it will come to violence? I doubt it. Probably just talk. Be honest, only then can you build something new.
Recommended Posts