Feels like Im wading through the thickets...

[Roller EastCoaster]

Hey guys I feel like I am wading through the thickets in some kind of a swamp with no real idea of the way out, feel like I'm amidst a terrible loss. If you dont know my story read below, otherwise jump to next paragraph.

 

Recently broke up with my ex, we lived together and went through some extremely good and some extremely rough times. But it was the typical song "I feel like I need some space", "Im too young and don't know what to do these days". Well she made the call to split and her platform was to be alone-her new mantra, so I was doing NC on and off. But then I ran into her early in the morning a month after we split with some guy early in the morning who I was already suspicious of, so we had it out, stayed in contact for about two weeks, argued alot. Then I just stopped contact, its been about 1 1/2 weeks.

 

She recently emailed-she had my stuff and to come get it. Then after 9 days of my NC revisited, yesterday she left another message saying I miss you and blah blah blah. So I quickly erased the message because I dont even know what to do at this point I almost feel like .. why should I talk to her? I feel like I would just hear more BS coming out of her mouth. She would probably be a little nicer and then I would find myself acting real nice to her, then back at square one- askin her about that guy, and then arguing with her. Thats probably how it would turn out right?

 

So ok, why I feel like I am wading through the thickets of a swamp:

-There was trully something there that nobody could touch, we were really there for each other and fought for each other in many ways, so how could it get to this point where I dont even know if there is any use in me talking to her ever?

-I understand NC and the importance of it, feel the positives from it but can't help feeling a huge backlash is coming for me in the next few weeks...

-Im not too worried about Vday I am able to handle not contacting her, but damn it really does suck that that little f**ker is gonna be takin her out to din din and havin his way with her later on. AAAAAGGHHH! to that

-She was my best friend and we both knew that we had something akin to very dear friendship beyond emotional commitment... so what the hell happens with that beautiful aspect of it especially after NC?

-I can strategize with the best of 'em and and execute, but the looming question of where am I going with all of this? is there... and also where are we (as in me and her) going with this? I included me and her because she really did respect my opinion and take my advising on many many things and is probably part of 90% of my thoughts these days still.

Edited February 13, 2008 by Roller EastCoaster

[Roller EastCoaster]

Hey all, please post your thoughts and suggestions regarding this thread... it is very heartfelt and I KNOW some of you are going through similar thoughts or have been through it. It is a bit wordy... but I know you can all relate!

[sandflea]

Uggh! I know how turbulent relationships go, and yeah, this sucks. I think you're doing the right thing though. You need to give yourself enough space, and enough time to reclaim some more of your confidence, your pride, and your power. Regardless of who ended things there's always going to be that pit of the stomache weirdness when you see her.

 

Yes, she's dating someone else. I'm having to face up to this one as well right now (which is double duty for me, because we still live together). Realistically speaking, if she's already seeing someone else I'd say she's rebounding, big time. And you know what? Who cares? You both deserve to be loved, to love again, etc. Don't be jealous - your feelings are misplaced. This is time to hold your head high and be VERY adult about the whole thing. And yes, I know, it sucks.

 

I'd avoid her - do your own thing - get out there and try new things. Meet new people and reclaim your MOJO. Who knows what the future will bring, but for now it's one foot in front of the other, head held high, eyes on the horizon. You can do this. We've all been there, and how you handle this situation says TONS about the kind of person you are.

 

So, yeah - you know the deal. This too shall pass, and you'll be cheered up again before you know it.

 

SF

[Sadcakesleo]

I know it's hard, I don't know if I have any good answers as I am going through a "break" period with my gf. I think though that you are doing the right thing going nc,I know that it is hard believe me. Thinking of her with the other dude is going to make you crazy but you have to keep the nc. Maybe you will be with her in the future who knows but right now you have to remember she left you and is dating someone else. You have to ask yourself if you guys got back together right this second would you be happy. You probably lost some self confidence and alot of trust in her. Give yourself some time maybe when you can handle what she says without feeling the way you feel you should speak with her, it will make your relationship stronger.