How to move on.

[Tom12k]

Im sure you guys have read posts like this 1000's of times, but i need to get everything off my chest.

 

Last Tuesday my fiancee told me that she no longer loved me. We had been going out for nearly 6 years. This april was to be our aniversary. We started dating when we were 15, one of those love at first sight teen romances but it never ended. Once she finished school and went off to Uni i moved with her and we began living together. We have been living together now for about 4 years.

 

But then on tuesday she says that she no longer loves me and that she has been unhappy for a long time. The only reason its lasted as long as it did was she felt guilty as i had left everything to move away from home with her. I went on to ask her what the problems were and she said. There was nothing serious in there, it was just lots of little things that sadly had been going on for a very long time. I always took her for granted. With the washing and cooking etc. I rarely helped out. Eventually it got too much for her.

 

The sad thing now is when i look back over all our time together i can see the signs, i can see how unhappy she was but i just didnt notice. Im sure if she would let me i could give her the love and life that she deserves and more as this is entirly my fault. But she wont.

 

She says that she could never love me again. And though when she looks back she can see all the good points, we could never get back together because she would always feel our problems that we had looming over us.

 

I have had a lot of sleepless nights where i cant calm my mind since she 1st said something. I keep trying to think of ways out of all this and for it to be as it was. I would give anything i could for her to just walk in and hug me and tell me that its all ok. Tell me that we can give it one last shot.

 

I know its final, but even as im typing this my mind is racing with how i might be able to sort something out. Where i live now i know nobody outside of work. All the people i work with are a much older generation than myself and i wouldnt feel comfy talking to them about all this. I never bothered going out and making friends as i was living with my best friend and it was her.

 

I really dont know how to move on from this, its been so long since i was single and it scares me so much. What makes matters worse is our lease on our current flat isnt up for another 2 1/2 months and we cant afford to move away before hand.

 

How do i move on from the love of my life when i see her every day. Shes a bigger part of me than i am, and im so unhappy. I hate myself so much for ruining the best thing that has ever happened to me.

 

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Tom

[joeapa]

I feel for you man, I'm at sort of a different place from the same situation, just be patient and don't rush anything, talk here or to a friend if you need to, stay quiet if you don't. I hope I helped.

 

 

ps it helps to put words to emotions so try to articulate how you feel

[BrianG]

I was together with my ex for 5 years, lived together for only six months. Now I am stuck by myself in the apart that we got together and can barely afford it. Sad to say your story mimics very closely to mine and your ex said pretty much the same thing as mine did. Not to be harsh but its going to suck for a while especially since neither one of you can afford to move out. In my case she moved out and the stupid lovesick/nice person I am said I would pay the rent at the apartment. In hindsight it is better that she is not here because that would make it especially harder so I definetly feel for you. I would stay away fromt the place as much as you can for the next 2 mos. Hang out with friends or family after work until the lease is over. Just accept that its going to be tough for a long time and feel your emotions when they come. Its going to take a long time, but eventually time will heal your wounds. At least that is what I keep telling myself. Keep your chin up, one day it will be alright.