smoochie Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 In the big scheme of things, does it matter much when you break up if you are dropped from the friends page? Is it that big of a deal? Or is it a big deal to the one who does the dropping? Can it be intrepreted that 1)they really want no contact or 2)they are being spiteful, just wanting to be the first person to do the deleting? does it even matter?
Pyro Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 It shouldn't matter at all, but I'm sure that its a combination of both choices.
oppath Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 For me, I dropped her right away. I told her I was going to drop her, the reason being I didn't want to see photographs of her everytime I logged on and be tempted to look at her profile, and even risk seeing comments from guys I didn't know who might be dates. I was honest with her because I was hoping that several months down the line, since we had some mutual friends, that we could be friends. She took it as spiteful and immature and so did some of our mutual friends. To me it's obvious: if it is a non mutual breakup, seeing their photographs and information about how much fun they are having is not a good thing. I told her that if I healed and we became friends a couple months later, that I would re-add her, but I couldn't be her friend until I could look at her with no attraction or desire, as if I were her friend with the ulterior motive or hope to get her back, then that's not a genuine friendship, and I wanted to be 100% healed first. Plus she "needed to be single" which 4/5 times means "other dudes are asking me out and I want to date them." I was just trying to protect myself. But I politely explained my reasons why -- "it's for me, not because of you at all" -- and it was construed as spiteful and immature. But here is the deal: even seeing her photo leads to the temptation to look at her profile and reminisce. If deleting her isn't something you want to do, add a webbrowser add-on so you can block specific websites, including her page so you don't look at it.
Star Gazer Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 It only helps to heal if the person's profile you're deleting is private. I've been on both-ends of the deleting game, and I think it really sucks either way. It's one thing to deliberately enter NC to help yourself heal, and quite another to symbolically DELETE the person from your life. It hurts.
cant let go Posted February 13, 2008 Posted February 13, 2008 i wont delete my ex from my friends or even move him from my 1st friend. i still have photos with him in them as well. my ex doesn't even use his myspace... he's basically got a pic up and that is it. but as long as i am still his first friend... i'm not going to change mine unless i have other reasons to. if i changed it now, my reason would be # 2)they are being spiteful, just wanting to be the first person to do the deleting and i don't feel any need to be spiteful... so i just leave it be... plus... if i move him around i have to decide who to put in his place... and that is hard...
Author smoochie Posted February 13, 2008 Author Posted February 13, 2008 I guess everyone has their own reasons for deleting an ex from their myspace page. I thought about deleting him from mine but figured I didn't want to seem petty or that I cared enough to search him out to delete him. Well, he didn't see it that way because he deleted me. When it is over, its over. It just seemed cold, I guess but I was prepared for it. I guess I really thought he wouldn't even care enough to delete it seeing as he has over three hundred friends and I wasn't even on the top friend list. I guess he didn't want me to see his although his page is public anyway...just can't read the blogs. I always update my friend status though so I would like to think he just didn't want to see my pic everyday. Its hard though because sometimes I think he hates me....screw him, his loss!!!
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