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how to tell him how i feel


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Posted

I've been seen this guy for a month. he's a very nice person, very into me. i like him too. but there's one thing i don't like-his facial hair. i mean he looks ok with the beard. i just don't like it in general. it looks dirty on anyone. i know it's very personal. so i'm not sure how to tell him about it without hurting his feelings or making him think i'm trying to change him. any advice?

Posted

Well, you are trying to change him so I don't see how it can come across any other way!

 

What makes you say it looks dirty? Does he not keep it clean and trimmed? Or are you just someone who hates facial hair no matter how it looks?

 

I suppose you could ask whether he's ever been clean shaven and express how much you'd love to feel his skin under your hands (or whatever!). But I think you have to be prepared to accept that he may want to keep his beard.

 

Would you be open to a huge hairstyle change if he didn't like the one you have now?

Posted

Well I'd say only a month is too soon to say something like that. I totally agree with you on the whole beard thing, however I wouldn't tell him if I were you. I'm picturing what I would do if I a guy I just started dating wanted to me to cut my hair really short or dye it or something... I don't think I would take too kindly to the comment. (And I might stop seeing him).

 

Perhaps there's a round-about way you could bring it up if you really really really feel the need to bring it up. Take the movie star Jason Lee for example. If you go to imbd . com you can see photos of him from "My Name is Earl" where he's got this hideous beard and wears a flannel shirt, and you can see pics of him where he's handsome and clean cut. Maybe make a subtle comment to him about how you like the clean cut Jason Lee better and see where the conversation takes you. If he's like many men, the comment may not be straightforward enough for him to make the connection between Jason Lee's facial hair and his own facial hair, but I suppose it's worth a shot.

 

Just as a side note- I keep trying to get my husband to grow out a goatee (he used to have one back in college) but he won't even do it for me. He says he doesn't like the way it feels. So if my loving, doting HUSBAND won't even change his facial hair appearance for his wife, there's a good chance, this guy won't either.

 

 

Just a thought.

  • Author
Posted

i'm one of those people who absolutely hate facial hair. i don't like it especially when i try to kiss him. that's why i wanted to bring it up.

Posted

Ask him if he has any pictures of himself without the beard. When you see it, you can then say ooh you look so handsome without it! But be forewarned, that might not be true!

  • Author
Posted
Ask him if he has any pictures of himself without the beard. When you see it, you can then say ooh you look so handsome without it! But be forewarned, that might not be true!

 

this's a good idea. i don't care if he looks worse without the beard, i just dislike it so much.

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