gothicflyer Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 I been dating my SO for 1 and 1/2 years I am older he younger. We are engaged. I never loved so hard and he has said the same. We were together physically and it was incredible. His parents who are extremely controlling do not like me even though I have made every effort to be nice. JUMP TO KNOW. they think we are not together as it was causing a HUGE hassle. He was going to move here by this summer on the visa from australia. At first i was to move there all was set till the time to move there became closer. NOW he has a HUGE support group here even my son is willing to help get him here. His parents have been confronting him for HOURSSSSSSSSSS at a time harressing him digging for info and so on. His father offers drugs to him you name it...YES i have heard this man try to do it many times. My SO has never lied to me until recently...I hardly talk to him I wait forever to talk to him..he will say brb and be gone 1 to 2 hours at a time. He went to someones house lied to me where he was...he has done this several times this week. He swears there is noone else. I have NEVER checked his msn messenger before but my gut was telling me something...HE has someone on ignore with the word lover and his name in it...NOW i am thinking WTF is this crap who is it...he swears he has no idea YET he places this person on ignore??? He has been logging onto my game account under my name confronted some guy who tried to make moves on me. LATELY he tells me his dads drug dealer buddies are after him and his dad runs the town where he lives. NO i doubt this his dad is a HUGE blowhard and brainwasher..I know he tried it with me..stated he had an affair with me..EEW DOUBLE EEEW. I am not like that! He will tell my fiance you leave us you wont be able to I will stop you and you KNOW i will... WELL tonight being distant again my fiance says I have to let you go so you dont get hurt he is bawling I said WTF!!!!!!!! WHY...he goes on how his parents interigated him for a few hours...blah blah acts like he cant talk and whispers words to me while im watching him on the cam. Tells me no i dont want to lose you I will fight HE then says he is going to a friends house..I said NO i have not gotten to see you ALL day. he says I have to get out of here tells me he told his friends parents EVERYTHING (mind you my so is 21) and they are coming to get him and he will have them contact me so i believe him...wellllllll still no word its 3 am there. I jerked awake at 645 am my time and now its almost 8 am here. I honestly do not think someones parents will stay up till 3 am talking to him about this all. he keeps saying NO we are together baby I will try hard I will show you I love you I want to marry you..yet this crap lately what am I to believe??? any ideas? NO i do not want to just toss it away..i feel i invested heaps... But what is up with all this secret behavior..he NEVER has done this before...tells me some things that seem out there...At first it was people were after him that he challenges some drug dealer his dad knows...I dont know..I dont know what to believe...
TMichaels Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 Sorry, but what is it you want advice about? Quite frankly, all of you -- you, your SO and his parents -- sound like a bunch of lunatics. If you can calm down and post rationally, perhaps someone can help you sort it out. Best, TMichaels
Author gothicflyer Posted February 12, 2008 Author Posted February 12, 2008 WOW i did not come here to be called names I was looking for a place to vent as I been up all night bawling my eyes out. WHAT i was asking is does anyone else think he is lying or can his parents be that controlling that he is brainwashed. Do you think he is cheating. He is still not home and it is 530 am there now. I feel like dying and feel alone. He has never done this except this past week and i feel as if I am going to explode. When I ask him what is going on it is secretive, and he avoids me this last week. I have done nothing to him to make him do this. He seemed so excited that we were starting the visa at the end of the month. Screaming and yelling "thank god". His parents have been hounding him hinting about who he is seeing very nosey. If he tries to say back off it is not your business his father becomes abusive. He has called the police in the past and I have heard the abuse. Even after he moved it continues. Today he had told me he was letting me go because he does not want me to get hurt. Hurt by what?? his fathers BS...I was married to a jerk like that for over 10 years..I am not scared. So then he says no I want to marry you..F them this is my life. He calls a friend so he says and most times he will stay so I can hear it...he left the room. In secret then tells me He told his friends family about it and they were coming to get him and he would contact me so I could talk to them as well. Nothing nada..ziltch. The first time he said he was going to a friends only then the story changed. He said I will see you in a few hours. I said okay I love you...he did not say it back at first. Last week he was spouting how much he loves me and even a few days ago spouting it...Something is going on I do not know what but my gut says something is up. So I do not know if its his parents BS or he has some fling on the side. I tried talking to him but he seems distant.
TMichaels Posted February 13, 2008 Posted February 13, 2008 Drugs, cops, secret conversations, unexplained absences, disappearances and erratic behavior, friends' parents having to come to the rescue, rumors of the town drug dealer on his tail, physical abuse, threats of violent behavor, and all you're worried about is whether your 21-yr-old fiance is having a fling? Has it ever occured to you your "fiance" either has a drug or psychological problem? Sorry, but all this drama just doesn't happen without good reason. What you've described is not "normal." Instead of worrying about being dumped, you ought to be worried about what in h*ll you're doing in the middle of such a circus. You say you're older -- with age ought to come *some* wisdom. Quit crying, wise up and focus your energy on figuring out why and how you ever got yourself into this mess. Best, TMichaels
ellie01 Posted February 15, 2008 Posted February 15, 2008 It sounds like an interesting situation and I'm not sure if I would want to be involved if I were you, but having said that I think he probably has a few things going on that might be stressing him out and maybe thats the reason behind the changed behaviour.
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