gem88 Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 I'm sure this has been asked a thousand times in a thousand ways on this site, and I know that somehow the way I word this is designed to get a certain response from any lovely person who replies...but nevertheless I need some help. This is quite a specific situation (at the same time as being the oldest one in the book), so reading responses to other peoples' posts wasn't really helping. last year, at my first year at university, I lived across from a flat of people who my flat spent quite a bit of time with. one of the guys, who is absolutely not the sort of guy I'd consider 'my type' but at the same time I'd probably class as 'out of my league' (but I have a bit of a complex about stuff like that...), I only really spoke to once or twice - he had a long term girlfriend who also went to our uni, and we got on but never knew each other well. then this year we started going out with the same crowd of people and usually ended up outside the club (or wherever) talking for hours....then poeple started telling me they thought he liked me, which I didn't believe, but he was being more and more sweet and seeming more interested, and I ended up going home with him after we all went out for his birthday and sleeping with him. So it seemed like we'd reached a new stage - I think neither of us really want a relationship, but it felt like we would probably just have something casual and be friends too. But then things sort of just came to a halt. we never end up going to the same places or really seeing each other this term, which is awful because the pressure of making an impression when I do see him makes me very awkward and on edge, so probably not much fun. I texted him a few times a couple of weeks ago and he dutifully and sweetly replies, but I just get this feeling that he liked me and I missed my chance somehow. I'm sure he wasn't just in it to sleep with me...and even if the fact that we slept together was a bit of a driving force, surely me wanting to just have an unofficial, casual, physical thing would be appealing to him? obviously no-one but him can tell me what I really should do, but any advice would be much appreciated. would it be completely left field and obvious to text him joking that i miss our deep intellectual chats and i can't convince anyone to come see this film with me, would he fancy going? I know I have nothing to lose, but am curious to see if anybody thinks there'd be a smarter plan of action here. Thanks!
oh_what_am_I_doing Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 You mentioned being sure he wasn't just in it to sleep with you, but you didn't say what made you so sure. To me, it sounds like he WAS just in it for a one night stand. I think your best course of action would be to start seeing other people and perhaps he'll come around when he sees that you're not sitting around waiting for him. I tried that with one of my exes from college who apparently just wanted to sleep with as many girls as possible and it worked pretty well. Of course, it won't work if he really was just looking for a one night stand, but if he is really into you, then it stands a chance. Good luck!
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