crazy_grl Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 Ok, so I don't celebrate christmas or any holidays really and it turns out that not celebrating christmas bothered the guy I've been dating. I don't have much problem getting gifts for people if it's really important to them. I buy them for my niece, so that she doesn't feel bad about not getting anything from me. I just didn't think most adults would find it a big deal. I didn't find out that it bothered him until recently. So... now I feel like I ruined his holiday, and I kinda want to make it up to him by getting him a vday gift. But I think I went overboard, which I usually do when I get people gifts. Whenever I try to shop for people, I find all kinds of stuff I think would be cool for them, and then put them together in a cute themed package. I like putting them together. What I got him was a bunch of ipod touch accessories, because he just got one and loves it. There's a arm band holder for when he works out, screen protectors/cleaners, a dash-mount car holder, car charger, and headphones. The headphones cost me $300. I picked those because when I asked him about headphones, those are the kind he said were really good and that he wished he had. Total, everything is about $350. Now I'm thinking that's too much for a 3 1/2 month non-"official" relationship isn't it?
oppath Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 That's too much for a 3 1/2 month non-"official" relationship isn't it? I would say yes, but it depends on the intensity of your relationship and your finances. I'd say don't give him the headphones but give him everything else, but I'm a poor grad student and I am not the one dating you.
ElvenPriestess Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 Yowza! That's very generous of you! Too much for 3.5 months? Who can really gauge right? As long as you did it because you wanted to, and you won't regret it, then I think you're fine. It's more a cost I'd think of for a b-day, but something tells me he'll feel he's the luckiest guy in the world.
Author crazy_grl Posted February 12, 2008 Author Posted February 12, 2008 I would say yes, but it depends on the intensity of your relationship and your finances. I'd say don't give him the headphones but give him everything else, but I'm a poor grad student and I am not the one dating you. Well, it's more than I'd spend if I were buying them for myself, but it's not a big dent in my finances. I don't really know if the intensity of the relationship merits that expensive of a gift. I'm just worried that he'll think it's overboard and it'll put him off. Yowza! That's very generous of you! Too much for 3.5 months? Who can really gauge right? As long as you did it because you wanted to, and you won't regret it, then I think you're fine. It's more a cost I'd think of for a b-day, but something tells me he'll feel he's the luckiest guy in the world. Hmm... I haven't bought or received many holiday gifts, so I don't really have a good gauge on this. His bday is in March, so maybe I'll just give it to him then.
Prodigal Princess Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 I am a big spender and love giving presents. I do it often and sometimes without reason. However I have learnt to curb my enthusiasm about giving presents to boyfriends (especially early on) as it definitely changes the dynamic of the relationship. When you give him your presents, you will feel better because you are doing something nice for him and it will alleviate the guilt you feel (however unwarranted!) about not giving xmas presents. However he will probably feel a bit overwhelmed, and could back off, as it is a definite signal that you are really into him. It could also seem a little desperate (no offense meant, chicky). I would advise against showering him with all these gifts so soon. I know you're excited to give them to him but you're only doing yourself a disservice. Perhaps give him one or two little things now, and the rest (the headphones especially) on his birthday. If you do give him a couple of things soon, don't make a big deal out of it and try not to have any expectations about his response. Be like, 'Oh I was in the shops and I saw these and thought of you, hope you like them. So, where should we eat tonight?' That way you come across as a sweet, thoughtful girlfriend without losing too much power in the relationship. Good luck!
SeraBella Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 It sounds a little overboard to me for Vday. I wouldn't give it for a bday, either, though, unless it was a LTR, or I really wanted to impress him. That's just me, though. I try not to really feel the need to spend a certain amount, but you do have to think about it because a lot of people feel the need to reciprocate. If someone I was only seeing a short time spent $300 on some headphones for me I'd probably feel like they were trying really hard, or I'd feel guilty if I didn't spend that much myself.
Recommended Posts