time to move on

[dscrd]

prob know answer, but here goes, i am chef at restaurant, have an attraction to a waitress, she had a boyfriend, we would drink after work, had lotsa fun, real connection, then she quit after a couple months i heard she broke up with bf, i called to see how she was doing, now she comes in about once or twice a week to drink after work w. me and the other staff is her friends, sometimes its just us, we also text each other a few times a week, and she comes and talks and says i can always call and talk to her about anything, then she would start asking is there anything else i want to say, so i just told her one night i liked her and she said she didnt want a realtionship right now, so i back off, and i do the no contact thing, and she usually doesnt go more than two or three days when she will either call, text me or come in for a drink. i really like her but it is more complicated, first she wants to move out of state where to go to school next fall where her highschool xbf lives who she told me she loves him but isnt IN-Love with and is afraid that she will just have to "settle" for him, also she and i like to drink , hang out and have a good time, and the bf out of state doesnt drink much at all, when ever we are together we both laff and have so much fun, and ifeel like if she moves, away form her family and friend it would be a mistake, but not my place to say. i also have gotten to know her family really well,and they are great too, her brother works for me and mom comes in to eat a lot, also her mom told her its not a good idea for her to move ther cause she knows she really doesnt love the her friend from high school. the worse thing for me is im 10 yrs older whic i know happens, but it seems to be possibly holding us both back, maybe not though,anyways i know i should move on, be she means alot to me, i think the hardest thing is though, when i try to move on, and i dont initiate contact with her for a few days, she is the one to call or text and sometimes asks if anything is wrong since she hasnt heard from me in a few days.

thanks

[norajane]

Yep, it's time for you to back off. Especially as you are 10 years older and she sounds like she is just out of high school? How is she even doing all that drinking at her age?

[dscrd]

? im 31 , she is 22,

[norajane]

Ah, then perhaps it was her immaturity that made me think she was right out of high school:

 

first she wants to move out of state where to go to school next fall where her highschool xbf lives who she told me she loves him but isnt IN-Love with and is afraid that she will just have to "settle" for him,

[dscrd]

ha, i think u hit the nail on the head.

 

 

thanks