must b emad Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Hi there, I'm new here and looking for some advice. I have a very good friend, and i suppose we now have a full blown affair. We met 12 years ago and went out for a while, I was single he was married, didn;t know this at first and when i found out called things off. We have been there for each other and it's good to know that you can pick up a phone and no someone is there for you. I'm going to be totally truthful and say that we have in the last year started seeing each other again, we have met up and a year ago we started texting and contact over PC. I have very strong feelings for this guy, don't know if love or lust even cover it. But I care about him a hell of alot. He feels the same way. I am now married aswell and it is an escape, i tell him things I could never tell DH - and i feel crap that i can;t speak to DH like this. I love DH to bits and I know you can judge and say how can i love him, but my MM has been there since I was 16 and i suppose it's just a fall back. I made the decision last week to end it once and for all, and I made the mistake of meetign with him to say this. Ended up not finishing things - AGAIN! We are good friends and know alot of people in common, none of whom know about us. His wife knows me and is very jealous (can;t blame her!) and my DH knows him and doesn;t like him at all. So it's not like we can have an open friendship, so it gets complicated. God Why can;t men and women be friends and not involve SEX. Anyway problem lies (getting to the point now) with the fact that I saw him on Saturday and said we would meet on Monday - but I have been trying to get out and called him on Saturday night to say enough was enough, but there was no answer. Called him a few times on Sunday, i have his number but he doesn;t have mine - he can only contact me online, this is due to him being on a contract phone. maybe it suits him to have me doing all the running. Back to the point! I called him this morning and still on answer machine, well I'm a very big pessimist and start things the worst - something has happened!, Then tell myself to snap out of it. My works phone went about 9.15 this morning and it was MM, he told me not to worry but he was in hospital and had been involved in a bad car crash on Sunday, he would be okay and would speak to me soon. My heart nearly stopped, but i settled myself to the fact he said he was okay. I have a friend who says that the diagnosis doesn;t look good, he has massive internal bleeding which they cannot stem and he is back in surgery, his back is shattered, broken shoulder, wrist, leg and ankle and severe bruising. OMG!!!!! Will be going to a spinal injury unit, then ICU, I just want to break down but can't and I don;t know if this information is correct - I don;t know how I can find out! A friend of his lives near me, but i can't just go up and ask or they will get suspicious. How is the OW meant to feel in this situation? Not only that - can you imagine if i had been in the car with him? How the hell do you explain that scenario! Really don;t know what answers I;m lloking for - it's just good to be able to get it all off my chest - I feel so alone just now regarding this as no-one knows.
White Flower Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 I feel for you entirely. It would kill me to not be able to be there to comfort him and hold his hand through it. I know it's a possiblity that it could end up that way but I would hate for it to. I don't have any advice except to hang in there until you know more. Maybe you could visit him after his W leaves the hospital? That would be so hard. You don't want to hurt her by your presence but you want so badly to be there for him. This is the stuff, isn't it? This is that one hard question. My MM has a plan to have a good friend call me should something happen. But I haven't met this friend and do not know if he'd be willing to take me to the hospital to see him (as his friend's sister or cousin or something) or what. It does keep me up at night sometimes. Another hard question for the MM: whose hand does he want to hold if he knew it was the end?
Owl Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 WF, The answer to that question is simple...BOTH!
White Flower Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 WF, The answer to that question is simple...BOTH! Hardy har har har. You know what I mean...if he had to chose, which hand would he prefer. Owl, you crack me up:p
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 How is the OW meant to feel in this situation? Terrified over losing him. Depressed over being reminded of your place. Frustrated that you can't be there. Anxious over him being banged up and in pain. Sad that for all intents and purposes your affair is over.
torranceshipman Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 LucreziaBorgia - always such great posts...true common sense and completely to the point...
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