lbabe Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 I met this guy a month ago. I have seen him 4 times now. I have had to make the contact every time tho. The last time i saw him i slept with him. I was really nice and i really thought he liked me. The next day i asked him if he wanted to see me again. and he said he didnt know how he felt...that he was on medication for depression and didnt know how he felt about anything. That kinda hurt. He also said he'd met a few women in the last 6 months but that he kept running away from them...his wife left him 18 months ago..so he probably scared of getting hurt again. He said the doctor told him he should start feeling better in a month. I want to see him again when he's feeling better but i'm not sure about him being on medication....and whether he will be a stable partner or not...does anyone know whether prozac actualy makes people better? Is it wise to date someone on prozac?
sb129 Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Prozac does deaden your emotions a little sometimes. And it KILLS your sex drive. I wouldn't write him off though. If he is on prozac then he is obviously aware of his problems and prepared to do something about them, which is a million times better than going out with someone who is depressed and in denial about it.
Author lbabe Posted February 11, 2008 Author Posted February 11, 2008 If he is feeling better in a month...and still on the prozac....will he still have no feeling toward me? i'm not keen on spending time with him if he doesnt feel anything for me....i dont want to get hurt...
oppath Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Being on medications for depression does NOT mean you are incapable of feeling and falling in love, nor does it mean you lack stability. Depression is not the same thing as being bipolar and even bipolar people are more than capable of having loving relationships. The fact that he went on medications is a sign of strength and self understanding. I'd be more concerned about the fact that he hasn't initiated contact and him essentially saying he is not ready for anything, but those things have nothing to do with being on prozac. Someone on prozac could be more than willing and able to be in a loving relationship. Base your red flags on his treatment of you, not on him being depressed or taking medications, and don't justify his treatment of you as a result of medications. Justify it as you not being a match and him not providing what you want and need.
sb129 Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 You are the only person who can make that decision. Prozac shouldnt be the only reason you don't go out with him, but you have to understand that he is not 100% himself, and you can't hurry along his recovery. If you aren't OK with it, maybe you should let this one go.... if you judge him because of his medication, or make demands on him that he can't possibly hope to keep up with, it might be bad for both of you.
blind_otter Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Prozac is like any other drug - it effects different people differently, but I don't think that the antidepressant is contributing to his waffling. Sounds like he just isn't over his last big breakup. Anyways to answer you questions - I myself am on prozac and it has made me better. I'm very much still able to participate in my relationship. Is it wise to date a person on prozac? That's really up to you. No one can answer that question for you.
Art_Critic Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 I'd be more concerned about the fact that he hasn't initiated contact and him essentially saying he is not ready for anything, but those things have nothing to do with being on prozac. I agree.. Being on Prozac and in Active Treatment for an issue isn't the worst thing.. I would be more concerned with red flags that might come from that or other areas.. He seems to have fallen into the category of just using a woman for sex.. Some guys can go thru this phase.. ( women too ) He runs as soon as he has them... If he already knew that he wasn't ready for a relationship then he should have not gone to bed with you and had sex with you unless you were also looking just for sex... Prozac not such a big deal.. this guy.. be careful.. he is going to nail everything that moves for a year of so till he gets it out of his system..
Author lbabe Posted February 11, 2008 Author Posted February 11, 2008 I'm not judging him for being on prozac. He made the decision to get help after he met me. Its only been 3 weeks. I'm just worried about getting hurt cos he doesnt know how he feels about me. I dont think he has had sex with anyone else...he's not that kind of guy otherwise he would have nailed me the first night. He's real slow at initiating that kind of thing.....
oppath Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 I am someone who advocates against the stigma of mental illness and medications on a regular basis, so what I am telling you is that you have a misconstrued view on what being on medications means and his ability to be in a relationship. It's true, being depressed or not being over his divorce may be reasons he can't be in a relationship, but being depressed does not mean you are incapable of feeling and accepting and giving love. It really has nothing to do with it and the idea that someone on medication should be avoided or has issues is outright wrong. If you ever have a family, someone, whether it be you, your spouse, or your children, will be on medications at some point in their life. It's usually successful people who seek treatment, not the wackos. Him being on prozac is irrelevant even if he uses it as an excuse. What is relevant is he either does not sound ready for a relationship or he just doesn't like you all that much. That is what relevant. Being on prozac may be a symptom of those issues but it is not the cause. It's completely irrelevant to the issues at hand, which are he's not ready, or he isn't that crazy about you.
Author lbabe Posted February 11, 2008 Author Posted February 11, 2008 Your right. Surely he would know if he likes me or not...whether hes on drugs or not. He probably isnt ready to move on....
basicinstinct Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Does this guy by any chance live in Florida?
maryjane1 Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 The fact that someone has prescribed prozac does not in any way mean that he is unstable. Use of antidepressents is very common. They are overprescribed and the chances are that your friend does not really need them. One bad thing about them is that they commonly "deanimate" the person. They will be less emotional and therefore not able to think with their heart in many cases. They are more likley to act with "cool calculation" instead of feelings. Many times they will have a hard time laughing or crying. They can as well suppress the ability to have sex. But not in all cases. Antidepressents can rob a person of the human experience. It is possible for these drugs to cause a person not to fall in love even if they really are supposed to. The person becomes disconnected from their emotions and really can have trouble feeling anything at all. I really do not know if there ever is a theoretically possible time when they might be needed. I can tell you that they almost never are. Most depression is due to emotional trauma. Not a chemical imbalance. I am not trying to tell you what to do. But if it was me I would try and get my friend to stop taking the prozac and get into aerobic exercise and having fun again. When off prozac he will more likley have an emotional reaction to you and not just move you around like a gamepeice on a chessboard. This reaction to you will be from his heart. It may or may not be the one you like but it will be real.
Author lbabe Posted February 18, 2008 Author Posted February 18, 2008 thanks for that. all i can do is try to be a friend to him, but i dont really know if he even wants that. he says he does, but he doesnt call me or text me of his own initiative. he will reply to my texts with something nice, and kisses at the end, but i feel like i'm hitting my head a against a brick wall....maybe he just doesnt like me that much...i find it all so depressing....maybe i should try the Prozac to numb my feelings......ARGHH!
BlueHaiku Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 Look, if he's making no effort, he is making no effort. It's almost certainly not the prozac, but it *might* be the depression, or it might not. Either way, I don't think you want to set your heart towards him. You've seen nothing to encourage you. If you like him as a friend, go on being his friend. But don't get your heart involved. Being on medication is not an excuse for shoddy treatment.
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