basketballfanatic Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]I am in need of some relationship advice, especially because valentine’s day is this Thursday, so I would greatly appreciate any help from this long post! I met this girl last semester during the end of December (I go to college) who lives in my dorm. One night we were with a bunch of friends, and we got really close and started kissing. We ended up sleeping together that night in the literal sense—we didn’t even kiss later that night. I guess I should have made the move, but she seemed happy so for some reason, maybe I was scared, I didn’t push it. Later she confided to me that she had wished I had kissed her more and that she was wondering if I were single at the time (which I wasn’t). Anyway, then winter break came and we went to our homes. Over the break, we talked online a couple of times, and she seemed really interested in everything I said, and laughed at all of my jokes. So far, I was pretty sure she was interested in me, and I liked her too. Then we got back to school, and things got a little awkward. I didn’t really know how to approach her. Everyone in my dorm is very tight knit and good friends, and so I was friends with most of her friends, although they were more acquaintances than friends I hung out with. Whenever we would see each other, usually at lunch, she would smile at me nicely. We didn’t really hang out during the day too much. At night, mainly during the weekends when there were parties, she would become very flirty, though not so much with me. I would hang around her a lot, hoping to talk to her. By this point I liked her very much (this is around early January) and I didn’t know why she stopped liking me. Maybe I hadn’t taken initiative to ask her out. The thing is this girl wanted attention from guys; she wasn’t necessarily interested in a boyfriend, although I know she had more feelings for me at one point than she did with these other guys I knew she flirted with. About the third week of this new semester, probably mid-late January, I met some other girls at a party, and although I didn’t kiss them or anything, simply dancing with them helped me to take my mind off of this girl. From then on, I tried to stop seeing her. At lunch, I wouldn’t sit at her table on purpose, just because it was too painful to keep thinking about her and seeing her in person only made things harder. So I got her out of my mind. If she sat down at my lunch table, I wouldn’t say anything to her, let alone look at her. Nonetheless, I wasn’t cold either. If we ran into each other, I would smile and say hey. That was about it though. [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]So I thought things had ended, and I was okay with that. I still liked her and was glad for the memories we had last semester, but I wasn’t attached to her. Then recently, about a week ago, she started wanting to hang out with me. Maybe she noticed I wasn’t desperate for her anymore and that I was independent and wasn’t going to feed her attention like all these other guys. Namely, I was different. So one day she went outside with two of her friends and called me up to come outside. I said I might come out, whatever. I was napping anyway, though I told her in a nice way. I just thought it was sort of weird for her to be calling me. Then she called me half an hour later. Eventually I went outside, and she saw me. I went up to her group to talk to one of my guy friends, and from the corner of my eye I could tell she was smiling at me. In any case, I left. This past weekend, at all the parties I went to, whenever I saw her, if she was sitting down on a chair or whatever and I was about to leave the room, having not acknowledged her, she would make sure to grab my attention, either by tapping me on the back and saying hey or touching the back of my leg with her foot. I would look at her and smile, maybe waving my hand, then leave, purposefully.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]She seems interested, but I’m not sure. The other night, I sat next to her, and whenever I do, we just don’t seem to have too much to talk about. She’s normally talkative, but at parties she can become subdued. She is flirty but shy. She wants me to tell her stories and such, yet for some reason I can’t bring myself to really flirt with her because a lot of the time she doesn’t respond positively, maybe it’s because there are other people at the parties, especially these other boys she flirts with. [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Anyway, my question is does she like me, and if so, how should I approach her? We kind of already have this heartfelt connection that formed last winter which I’m fine with keeping going strong. But I could also try to go on a date with her, which would probably feel pretty natural, but then again I really think she would rather not have a bf right now. Valentine’s day is in three days. What do I do?[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT]
Chauncey Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Clean up your post, and than we will talk.
Author basketballfanatic Posted February 11, 2008 Author Posted February 11, 2008 I am in need of some relationship advice, especially because valentine’s day is this Thursday, so I would greatly appreciate any help from this long post! I met this girl last semester during the end of December (I go to college) who lives in my dorm. One night we were with a bunch of friends, and we got really close and started kissing. We ended up sleeping together that night in the literal sense—we didn’t even kiss later that night. I guess I should have made the move, but she seemed happy so for some reason, maybe I was scared, I didn’t push it. Later she confided to me that she had wished I had kissed her more and that she was wondering if I were single at the time (which I wasn’t). Anyway, then winter break came and we went to our homes. Over the break, we talked online a couple of times, and she seemed really interested in everything I said, and laughed at all of my jokes. So far, I was pretty sure she was interested in me, and I liked her too. Then we got back to school, and things got a little awkward. I didn’t really know how to approach her. Everyone in my dorm is very tight knit and good friends, and so I was friends with most of her friends, although they were more acquaintances than friends I hung out with. Whenever we would see each other, usually at lunch, she would smile at me nicely. We didn’t really hang out during the day too much. At night, mainly during the weekends when there were parties, she would become very flirty, though not so much with me. I would hang around her a lot, hoping to talk to her. By this point I liked her very much (this is around early January) and I didn’t know why she stopped liking me. Maybe I hadn’t taken initiative to ask her out. The thing is this girl wanted attention from guys; she wasn’t necessarily interested in a boyfriend, although I know she had more feelings for me at one point than she did with these other guys I knew she flirted with. About the third week of this new semester, probably mid-late January, I met some other girls at a party, and although I didn’t kiss them or anything, simply dancing with them helped me to take my mind off of this girl. From then on, I tried to stop seeing her. At lunch, I wouldn’t sit at her table on purpose, just because it was too painful to keep thinking about her and seeing her in person only made things harder. So I got her out of my mind. If she sat down at my lunch table, I wouldn’t say anything to her, let alone look at her. Nonetheless, I wasn’t cold either. If we ran into each other, I would smile and say hey. That was about it though. So I thought things had ended, and I was okay with that. I still liked her and was glad for the memories we had last semester, but I wasn’t attached to her. Then recently, about a week ago, she started wanting to hang out with me. Maybe she noticed I wasn’t desperate for her anymore and that I was independent and wasn’t going to feed her attention like all these other guys. Namely, I was different. So one day she went outside with two of her friends and called me up to come outside. I said I might come out, whatever. I was napping anyway, though I told her in a nice way. I just thought it was sort of weird for her to be calling me. Then she called me half an hour later. Eventually I went outside, and she saw me. I went up to her group to talk to one of my guy friends, and from the corner of my eye I could tell she was smiling at me. In any case, I left. This past weekend, at all the parties I went to, whenever I saw her, if she was sitting down on a chair or whatever and I was about to leave the room, having not acknowledged her, she would make sure to grab my attention, either by tapping me on the back and saying hey or touching the back of my leg with her foot. I would look at her and smile, maybe waving my hand, then leave, purposefully. She seems interested, but I’m not sure. The other night, I sat next to her, and whenever I do, we just don’t seem to have too much to talk about. She’s normally talkative, but at parties she can become subdued. She is flirty but shy. She wants me to tell her stories and such, yet for some reason I can’t bring myself to really flirt with her because a lot of the time she doesn’t respond positively, maybe it’s because there are other people at the parties, especially these other boys she flirts with. Anyway, my question is does she like me, and if so, how should I approach her? We kind of already have this heartfelt connection that formed last winter which I’m fine with keeping going strong. But I could also try to go on a date with her, which would probably feel pretty natural, but then again I really think she would rather not have a bf right now. Valentine’s day is in three days. What do I do? If I do ask her out this week, what kind of activities would be light hearted enough to the point that I don't freak her out by asking her out (I hear a lot of girls feel a guy really really likes her if he asks her out for valentines day).
Author basketballfanatic Posted February 12, 2008 Author Posted February 12, 2008 Bump! This is urgent! I think I am going to ask her out. Could it be that I make her nervous, or that we just don't have too much in common to talk about? The latter I don't think would be true since we bonded a lot before the winter break. Maybe I am trying too hard to find the "right" things to talk about with her since I feel she's special and want to talk about things that interest her, which sounds weird but I probably care about her too much or need to relax more myself.
Author basketballfanatic Posted February 13, 2008 Author Posted February 13, 2008 bump once again, valentine's day is tomorrow. is it possible that this girl simply likes the challenge of trying to get me to give her attention? if so, how do i advance the relationship without letting her know i like her, because that would then make her think i'm not much of a challenge. how can i just let her know that i like being in her presence more than just a friend?
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