Sarah55545 Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Sorry in advance if this is long.... My ex and I had been dating for about 4 years, and prior to our break-up we'd had minor fights...nothing big. We were both 22 at the time. Our relationship had been pretty wonderful, some issues but nothing serious...or so I thought. I had been having pretty personal issues when he decided that he wanted to go on a 'break'. I thought this to be unfair and quickly gave him a choice...either we were together, or we were not. So needless to say we broke it off. Since then, we haven't really been apart. He wanted to be 'best' friends. We still had a very strong physical connection, and made a point to talk once a week or so...and see eachother at times. At first it was really difficult for myself and especially as he said he didn't know if he had made the right decision... This was about a year and a half ago. Anyways, I had started to try and move on when over the past 6 months we've become very close. We now speak everyday, see eachother at least 3 times a week. He spends his wkds with me, which was something that he never did after we broke up. We were always close but I can tell something feels different. We were hanging out one night, about a month ago and we had a few glasses of wine and he admitted to me that he still really cared for me and that he thinks he may have made a mistake in breaking up with me...but the next day we avoided the topic and pretended like it never happened. A couple weeks ago, I had been a bit upset after a fight with my family...so the next morning when I woke up for work, he had left flowers for me saying that he hoped I had a better day... However, in the card he made a point to write that I was such a great friend. But in the last couple weeks we've been talking much more. We seem to go for dinner with one another very often...and a couple weeks ago he talked about us breaking up, and that he did it because he knew I was going through a really rough time and felt as though he was responsible for causing those problems...that he was holding me back. He said it was really difficult for him because it had nothing to do with his feelings for me. Then I shot back and said to him, that if he loved me so much then he really wouldn't have broke up with me and be ok with me dating other people... He responded by saying that he never was ok with me being with anyone else...that he just said that because he had no right to stop me. He also said that he thought htat if we were really meant to be then we get back together once things were better for me.......It was a really serious moment, and I had been hurt really bad after the breakup, so I tried to lighten the moment and joked around by saying...soooooooo, I guess you like me then huh? And he laughed and he said no way, so I told him to swear that he didn't and he just said, you know how I feel. But he never said anything about getting back together........ Then this past Friday we were at dinner, and we were talking about my sisters engagement, and her wedding plans and out of the blue he's like, I know you like me... And I was really thrown aback, partially because the way it was brought up was really strange, and because it came out of nowhere. I was in no way, shape or form willing to put myself out there because I had felt so hurt about the breakup that I didn't know what to do. So I responded by saying yeah I liked you as in the past. He just smiled and kind of laughed a bit because I think he knew how I felt....... Everyone always says just to forget about him because he wanted to end things...but we've always remained close. He even asked me to go away with him this wkd to go skiing with his friends, and even wants to plan a vacation with me. I also went to a club this past week and he questioned me to see if I had met anyone or if I got anyones number... He is an amazing guy, and I really care about him a lot. Also, since we've been broken up he has never gone further than getting a girls number. He is a very honest guy,and I know some people may say "as far as i know", but hes also a very bad liar and I know for a fact that he hasn't been with anyone. It almost feels like we are back together, but without a title...or were at the point where we both want something, but nobody is really saying anything. Was this attempt at dinner (when he asked or said that i liked him) his way of trying to open up communications? I'm so confused...things seem to be so different. I know you don't act this way with a 'friend'. He even calls me now just to say goodnight...he even broke plans the past coupel weekends with his friends to come and see me. Please help...I want to be with him, but I don't know how to approach this.
Author Sarah55545 Posted February 13, 2008 Author Posted February 13, 2008 Can someone please give me some advice here ? I have one other thing to add....On the phone the other day when we were talking I was pretty bummed because my friend and I got into a fight and my "ex" was on the phone with me trying to guess what was wrong but I really wasn't willing to get into it my fight with my firend. So he was guessing and then was like, are you upset because you don't have a serious relationship? He's like why would you want a serious relationship...then he's like besides, you have me. He then continued to say "...I don't know why you want another rel'p (i guess he meant with another person). .."were pretty much together right? i mean i guess not in technical terms, but were together". WHAT does that mean??????
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