nickilovespookie Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Hello, you may know me from my post under the dating section "great guy so what's wrong with me". Well let's try to forget about that and I'll give you the story here. My bf and I were dating for 3 years. I always thought he was perfect, absolutely the best bf ever. Looking back his only problem was that we didn't spend enough time together, he hunts and fishes a lot. It's his life other than his job and taxidermy. Well, about a month and half ago this friend of my family hard ass Irish guy starts flirting with me. He's quite the talker, he could talk his way into a shoe box. And I love his Irishness. Sexy. So anyway, he starts flirting one thing leads to the next and we started texting everyday all day for weeks. My love for my bf starts spiraling down faster and faster and pretty soon it's gone. I tried to break up with him once but couldn't because he loves me so much and I don't think I can just fall out of love as fast as I did. Well, Matt and I keep talking and before you know it I slept with him. It was on a Sunday morning coming back from visiting my family (they live an hour away and so does he). So I slept with him and it was great. That night I completely ended it with my bf. I told him that I had feelings for someone else but denied doing anything with him. I lied. Through my teeth. So I leave that night, he's devasted blah blah. So stupid me I'm telling my best friend all about Matt on myspace, what we did, everything! Turns out I had my log in info saved on the computer and my now ex bf is reading it. everything. so he comes over to my parents (where I'm staying) with two pictures of us and his wedding vows that he recently wrote to me (because we both know we'll end up together and wedding vows was never something he thought he could do) and put it all on my windshield and I went out there. So he confronted me, called me a couple names yadee yada. Anywho, so time passes and I sleep with Matt 3 more times, bf doesn't know but he hasn't asked either. My problem here is that Matt will never be anything. He's a bartender, a 31 year old "cocksmith" but I know he really likes me. I'm the type of girl that he would settle down with. My bf on the other hand, makes me laugh, has a great life, and I'm really comfortable with him. The sex drive for him though is out the window. I'm emotionally connected to him but I want to have sex with Matt. My bf knows about me cheating on him and he's devastated but he knows that this is just a bump in the road and thinks once time heals us we'll be stronger than ever. I'm 23 and my ex bf is 29. He says he's searched for someone like me forever and doesn't want to loose me. He really loves me for me. He says he thinks I've dissapointed myself more than him bc he knows I'm a better person that that etc. Matt's the sam age. One problem, my family does NOT approve of Matt and I together. One night that I went up there, my cousin (his friend) found out and sent me a text asking me what the hell I'm thinking. I can't help it though, I feel like I just want to get my fill of his and this will all go away. I'm being so selfish but I don't know what else to do. I picture things with Matt like going out together and whatever but he doesn't want his friends (my family) to be angry. Everyone would know if we went out together. The sexual attraction is basically all we have. I want him so bad for some reason. With my bf, we got too to be like room mates or something and my sexual attraction is gone. We kiss and I don't feel a spark, Matt and I kiss and it's fireworks.
Arch Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Stop leading people on if you aren't interested in being with them - since you clearly aren't because you wouldn't be doing what your doing. Tell Matt all you want him to be is a FWB because thats the truth.
vivrantflo Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Agreed. Also..leave your ex boyfriend alone.. He deserves someone that's 100% committed to him..and doesnt need to go anywhere else for gratifying sex.
Author nickilovespookie Posted February 12, 2008 Author Posted February 12, 2008 Well the thing is my ex bf really loves me. He knows that I cheated on him but believes in second chances. We're not together right now so if I see Matt it's not wrong. I see my ex bf as someone that I should be with though, we get along great, he's considerate, stable etc. With Matt I feel like it could just be infatuation and I really would like it just to pass so I can move on with my ex bf. He wants us to work it out and definitely would 100% if Matt wasn't in the picture. I know that it probably won't work out with Matt yet I find myself spending time with him and wanting to do things with him. I don't mean to lead my ex bf on because I really DO love him and I just dont want to hurt him, he loves me and we can work it out. We're spending time together too and taking things slow. So 1. try to again forget about Matt, call it quits, (which I don't want)ignore my feelings and work things out with my bf or 2. call it quits permanently with my ex and lose him forever (which I don't want) The first choice will be very hard because I will always see him around, my family lives in a small town and he's a bartender at the local bar plus a friend of the family. The second choice sucks because I don't want to lose someone that I could spend forever with and hurt him. How do I decide? Once more thing, I feel such a connection with Matt that if I don't try it with him, I'll always be wondering.
Arch Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 lawl, stop bull****ting yourself, you don't care about your ex bf because you wouldn't be having this discussion on a internet forum about who you should be with. Tell your ex bf done with the relationship - because you are. Tell Matt all you want to do is have him a FWB benefits because all you really want is sex from him.
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