woodthorpe Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Hi Everyone I'm just posting because I'm running the risk of breaking NC. I was doing well last week - I actually felt good, happy to be free of the relationship and then I got the news that one of my ex work colleagues had committed suicide. She was the same age as me and I used to see her every day so it came as a bit of a shock. Now I really want to talk to him - just download my feelings. Great if he is friendly - but what if he tells me he has someone new - I'll spiral even lower. NC is the only way to play this but I'm short of energy right now - I need to lean on someone - hence my post to LS supporters !! Have a great day everyone. It's sunny here so I should be smiling........ XX
Ocean-Blue Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Hi Everyone I'm just posting because I'm running the risk of breaking NC. I was doing well last week - I actually felt good, happy to be free of the relationship and then I got the news that one of my ex work colleagues had committed suicide. She was the same age as me and I used to see her every day so it came as a bit of a shock. Now I really want to talk to him - just download my feelings. Great if he is friendly - but what if he tells me he has someone new - I'll spiral even lower. NC is the only way to play this but I'm short of energy right now - I need to lean on someone - hence my post to LS supporters !! Have a great day everyone. It's sunny here so I should be smiling........ XX Hey woodthorpe! If you've decided to go NC, you must've had a good reason, right? Remind yourself of those reasons. Remind yourself of the reasons why this person is no longer your SO. Most importantly, remind yourself that you are strong enough to handle whatever comes your way. You think you need him, but you really don't. You're just used to leaning on him for emotional support. I bet, if you had to, you can take care of yourself just fine. If you're feeling really bummed, call up a friend. If not, try to contact your local distress centre. They're good at handling this sort of stuff. You probably need some grief counseling - losing someone, even someone you didn't know too well, can be difficult to deal with. No one said you had to go at it alone...but that doesn't mean you need him. You are strong. Make the right choice and cope with the resources you currently have. You'll surprise yourself.
Author woodthorpe Posted February 11, 2008 Author Posted February 11, 2008 Thanks OB. I'm at work and busy - that always helps. I'll find someone to have lunch with, a long chatter with someone will do me good. And I will be strong - he was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but the feeling wasn't mutual. There are plenty more men out there and i won't attract them with a face like a wet weekend ! xx
Ocean-Blue Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Thanks OB. I'm at work and busy - that always helps. I'll find someone to have lunch with, a long chatter with someone will do me good. And I will be strong - he was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but the feeling wasn't mutual. There are plenty more men out there and i won't attract them with a face like a wet weekend ! xx Glad to see you're keeping yourself busy. And chatting over lunch is always good. If the feeling wasn't mutual, he isn't the man you're supposed to spend your life with. Better it ended now than later, right? I'm glad you are optimistic about your future. You attract what you feel and think... Good luck and keep posting.
FLOWERYSTARS Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Short term gain, having some comfort during stressful times, can lead to long term pain. Only you can know if having him as a friend would be too painful for you long term or even short term. It sounds like you have people you can chat with, so you really dont need him as much as you think.
Author woodthorpe Posted February 11, 2008 Author Posted February 11, 2008 Short term gain, having some comfort during stressful times, can lead to long term pain. Only you can know if having him as a friend would be too painful for you long term or even short term. It sounds like you have people you can chat with, so you really dont need him as much as you think. Flowerystars - much as I would love him as a proper friend I know I can't cope with seeing him with someone else, or having him tell me he has met someone new. It hurts to be without him but it has to be nothing. I'll get there - just a bit of a down day today. XX
Always Wrong Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Flowerystars - much as I would love him as a proper friend I know I can't cope with seeing him with someone else, or having him tell me he has met someone new. It hurts to be without him but it has to be nothing. I'll get there - just a bit of a down day today. XX Apparently I can't be friends with a former lover either. Tried it, but couldn't do it. My last long term girlfriend 6yrs. and I split up about a year and a half ago. I go no contact because she's all crappy attitude wise, and then she calls and says she was wondering how I am. "Just fine," I tell her. Small talk leads to renting several movies and watching them...(movie marathon). This happens twice in a week, we talk a lot, nice conversation, I go home after the movies both times without making any moves at all. No suggestive actions of any kind... complete gentleman. Then no answer, no call, no smoke signals, no response, nada. Now I'm back to square one in my heart... what a freeking drag!!!!!!! I should'a known better! You know better too, don't you?
Author woodthorpe Posted February 12, 2008 Author Posted February 12, 2008 Now I'm back to square one in my heart... what a freeking drag!!!!!!! I should'a known better! Hi AW - are you my twin ?? This is my version...... I popped in to say hello after going shopping - he is perfectly charming, shows me his new sports car - takes me for a short spin - chat over a cup of tea Two hours later - He's had a nice afternoon with a friend, I'm sitting staring at the phone, checking my email every five minutes willing some sort of message to come through. When he sends me a short jokey text (a genuine friendly text, no suggestion of getting back together) I blow it out of all proportion, ruin what little bit of the relationship we have left and propel myself almost back to square 1. ( I say "almost" it can never be as bad as Day 1 again) Don't know if I'll ever learn (not with this one anyway). Have a good day AW XX
Always Wrong Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 Hi AW - are you my twin ?? This is my version...... I popped in to say hello after going shopping - he is perfectly charming, shows me his new sports car - takes me for a short spin - chat over a cup of tea Two hours later - He's had a nice afternoon with a friend, I'm sitting staring at the phone, checking my email every five minutes willing some sort of message to come through. When he sends me a short jokey text (a genuine friendly text, no suggestion of getting back together) I blow it out of all proportion, ruin what little bit of the relationship we have left and propel myself almost back to square 1. ( I say "almost" it can never be as bad as Day 1 again) Don't know if I'll ever learn (not with this one anyway). Have a good day AW XX Most likely we are very similar emotionally, where our hearts are involved. I think it's some sort of over-wiring in our brain, where the need for love is crosswired to the need the breath. lol You have a good day too woodthorpe
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