yama8017 Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Why does my ex still say “I love you”? What does she want? What should I do? I’m 28, my ex girl friend is 21. We knew each other since 2006 and started a long distance relationship from Jan, 2007. I was leaving Maine and going to California for school while she wanted to stay. We made the commitment of waiting for each other. We were making at least two phone calls and multiple text messages each day. We tried to see each other on the webcam whenever we could. She came to California and visited me for two months during the summer. Everything was well. We were very happy together. From Dec 2007 she started to frequently missing my phone calls. She also completely ignored my phone calls during the whole Christmas Eve and New Years Eve. On Jan 5th 2008 she told me she didn’t like to be alone and she needed to figure out what she wanted, therefore she wanted stay single for a while. I said if you need space to think, OK. On Jan 7th when I called her up she said she liked another boy and she’s “kind of seeing” him. (god tells me what that means) Two days later she told me they were officially dating. I asked her if she wanted to come back to me if I give up everything in California and move to Maine ASAP. She told me no, because she likes the other boy a lot. As of Feb 10th, in the last two weeks she spent at least six nights in his house. To me, this is all too quick. I love that girl. I’ve always considered her as my only family in this country (I’m first Gen immigration). I did everything in my power to help her and make her happy. There is one sacrifice I didn’t make is to give up my school in California and go back to Maine. This break up put me into deep depression and I’m yet to recover from it. She won’t reply any of my phone calls, emails, or text messages but I can’t help hoping to hear from her. But I also try to respect her. In all my messages I insist if she prefer not to hear from me at all, just reply “stop”. Here comes the confusing part. She still sent me text message saying “I love you” on Feb 4th. When I finally pick up the phone on 9th, after I said “I love you”, she replied “I love you, too.” I told her she didn’t have to response to me and she told me that was how she truly felt. She also told me that she never slept with the other boy (despite those many nights she stayed with him). It’s hard to believe her because I know she lies sometime. At this same time she doesn’t really have a reason to lie to me because I’m not flying over there and setting her house on fire. I’m desperate and miserable. I’m torn by different thoughts of my own. On one hand I do think letting go will make me suffer shorter, on the other hand I really, really want to have her back. What does she mean when she says “I love you”? Do I even stand a chance of winning her back? Should I stay single and wait or just learn to give up? Here’s some personality info about my ex that might affect the conclusion: Her parents divorced when she was young and she’s been living with her mom since then. Her mom drinks and acts abusively sometime. She has very low self esteem. She WILL lie to protect herself. She likes to social and constantly looks for attention from the opposite gender unconsciously. She’s cared to tell other people what she wants. She was even scared to tell the manager she wanted to quit her last job because she was underpaid. This post might be too long but I just want to provide as much information as I can. I appreciate your help.
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