FooledOnce Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 And i have come here to get yelled at. :-) Still, I figure, what do I have to lose? In the (highly) unlikely event that she responds positively, I win. If she responds negatively, I win too as it would be good to finally stamp out those last embers of hope. At least I can look in the mirror the rest of my life and say that I left nothing unsaid.
Dumbledore Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Be very careful, FooledOnce. Tony might soon change your user name to FooledTwice, if it's not already taken.
D-Lish Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 I have sent the heartfelt e-mail before. It never has worked in my favour in terms of getting back with someone- but it has helped me to derive a sense of closure by getting things off my chest.
Always Wrong Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 And i have come here to get yelled at. :-) Still, I figure, what do I have to lose? In the (highly) unlikely event that she responds positively, I win. If she responds negatively, I win too as it would be good to finally stamp out those last embers of hope. At least I can look in the mirror the rest of my life and say that I left nothing unsaid. True. You won't have that what if hanging around to torture you. I say,"good move." You made a well calculated offering and considered the up and down side. You win, and you win. I needed you in Vegas that last time. I don't gamble except on the craps table. I always break even. Have a good time and leave with what I came with. I don't really call it gambling when I'm not risking much.
BrianG Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Just curious as to your words in the email. Either way best of luck.
oppath Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 I just sent one too. It was never a long term committed relationship though. I've been talking with her and we have been flirting and talking about future things to do together -- and she told me to check out a song that seemed to describe our relationship -- and I realized that being friends was just confusing, as both of us had some feelings. So I laid it on the line. I told her I do think of her and have feelings, and that when we talk of doing future things, in my mind I envision those things romantically, and I feel confused, and I suspect she feel confused too. I told her I'd like to meet her face to face to discuss our on/off relationship and our true feelings, but if she was convicted to moving on, we needed more space before any kind of friendship could occur. I'm awaiting a response. I wasn't asking for her back, moreso I wanted to discuss how we were talking, and how it was confusing, and I know she was confused too. I could feel it in her voice. Any friendship will require more time but will mostly be the email a youtube link every two months variety. We've been holding on to the companionship and that's not a good idea since feelings do exist on both sides. Will it lead to a reunion? Probably not. But it's like D-Lish suggested: you get rid of the anxiety. Really, that is what it is all about, the anxiety, the uncertainty in where you stand. I am willing to discuss another chance with my girl but I'm kind of hoping she says "I want to move on, I'm confused too, I agree, we need more space." Maybe that means I don't really want her back, but I think it mostly means I'm realistic. The nail in the coffin would be great to hear and if I hear it, maybe we could actually be friends. but the ambiguity is killing me. In your situation, unless she reams you out, it can only lead to you moving on. So don't beat yourself up over breaking no contact or feeling weak. You've been moving on, and maybe you need a final validation "I care about you, but it's not working for us. We are over. I am thankful for the experience and you are a wonderful person." Maybe hearing that will allow you to let go, as that last bit of hope can linger. One of the most difficult things about moving on is that thought "was it timing? what if in the future?" Your actions can help you eliminate those thoughts, so I won't yell at you. I think it's great that you were honest with her about how you felt.
PinkRibbon Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 yelled at yelled at yelled at yelled at. :laugh: Seriously that was actually a good move. It can let you finally put all of the wanting to contact behind you. I talked to my husband last week and that was the talk that made me realize that now way do I ever want him back. So hopefully either way it will work out in your favor.
latefragment Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Please keep us posted! Even if she doesn't respond, how are you feeling about things, etc...
sedgwick Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 So what happened? What did you say? Did she respond? Do you feel better? Sometimes I wish I could write that email, but I know he doesn't want to hear it. I have to convince myself every single day that he even remembers who I am.
Haohmaru Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 to fooledonce -- *Smack smack* to Sed: I'm so mad at you. I asked you another ?ion in my thread to you...I called out in the darkness..."Sed! Sed!" hoping you would hear my cry and reach out a helping hand to guide me through the darkness of the pain of my soul...but it was not to be. Why, Sed? Why?? Why do you leave me to flounder about in the muddy filth of my wretched thoughts?
Author FooledOnce Posted February 12, 2008 Author Posted February 12, 2008 She hasn't responded yet. I'm not sure that she will. I dunno. I woke up this morning and felt, well, I felt a little bit embarrassed. I don't feel vulnerable though. I'm perfectly comfortable with her and have nothing to lose at this point. And, yes, if i could change my name to FooledAgain, I'd gladly do it. As always, i'll keep you all posted with updates.
Aboohoo Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 Hi i've just done the same and feel totally free as ive finally said everything i needed to samr. Im not expecting a reply, it wasn't for my ex it was really for myself - an opportunity to let everything go.... It doesnt work for everyone but i believe it was the right thing to do for me... I hope you get what you need from this xxx
Haohmaru Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 I'm proud of you. I'd never do it, (I don't think) but you have balls.
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