john213 Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Alright so my girlfriends parents have done a complete 180, when we first started dating her parents loved me and now they look for any reason to stop us from hanging out. I guess I should give some information about us. Im 18 and shes 16,Im in college(freshman) and shes in high school(junior)we're both A and B students. I taught a junior tennis program over the summer and she was one of the students. I was actually her little 8 year old brothers friend before I started hanging out with her. We spent alot and i mean ALOT of time together over the summer, but were just friends. Her mom and dad were actually the ones to push us into going out. They were asking me if i wanted to go spend the summer with them in california, they would let me spend the night at their house almost every night. Everything was going great until the beginning of december and her mom grounded her for no reason. (she had never been grounded before in her life). Well the reason she was grounded is that she got a B+ on a test and her mom said that wasnt good enough, also she ate a peice of her brother gum... no joke there... Since december its seemed like her parents have gone absolutly crazy. we're only allowed to see each other on saturdays and only for about 5 hours. and for us to be able to see each other on saturdays she has to have over a 4.2 gpa and i have to have over a 3.9 gpa. We have to show our grades every saturday before we hang out and have them approved by her parents. I have no idea what could have caused this turn around... Iv always been incredibly nice and polite around her family. Everytime i see her little brother I'll always play around with him. I always say thank you a million times over to any little thing they do for me. The only reason i can think of that theyd turn around like this is that in the beginning of december i quit the college tennis team because my car broke down and i needed a job, because im paying my own way through college and now that i dont have a car i have no transportation. But is quitting the tennis team really that big of thing for her parents to freak out like they are? Can anyone help me out with this or give some reason as to why theyre freaking out? and i dont want to break up with her because she is literally my dreamgirl. if theres anymore info you need go ahead and ask
Walk Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 I think the parents are over reacting. And no, quitting tennis because you had to get a job isn't a big deal. It just means you're not independenly wealthy. Have you considered that maybe your gf's parents are snobs? Just throwing that idea out there. I think if you can approach the parents in an adult manner, you might be able to get a few answers out of them. I think it could help with their level of respect toward you. On the other hand, what they are doing is giving you a goal to get great grades, work hard, and be a better man. I think its incredibly touching that you will work so hard just to see your gf a few hours on the weekend. That's some dedication! Your gf has 2 years before she's 18. I know you want to spend time with her, but don't push so hard that you force her to choose her parents or you. Bide your time.... when she goes to college and realizes that her mom and dad can't monitor her every action, then the two of you can work on creating a relationship. Right now, you have to play by the parents rules. 2 years will go by quick. Both you and your gf will change a great deal. And the parents will eventually die. But you need a good education to get a great job out of college. Otherwise, you'll just be another desk jockey like the rest of us poor schmucks who eek through life.
Author john213 Posted February 11, 2008 Author Posted February 11, 2008 thanks for the advice! haha i like the part where the parents die... j/k I was hoping for some magical word i could say that would make everything in my life happy but i guess not... and yeah her parents are kinda snobs... they both grew up in rich families getting everything they wanted... they were living in a $2000 a month rent apartment and were calling it a hole... and i am kinda feeling that they think that im not good enough because my family background is lower class so i have an update now, she sent me a text this morning saying her parents are going to move back to their house in california because her grades are not good enough... once again her gpa is always over a 4.2... theres no way thats only because of grades right?
norajane Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 It doesn't sound like it has much to do with you, and has a LOT more to do with their expectations of her grades. That B+ must have been a decline in her academic performance, so her parents are looking at WHY, and figured she was spending too much time with her bf and not enough time studying. That's why they put her on a short leash, so they can make sure she's not spending too much time on 'love' at the expense of her education.
norajane Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 so i have an update now, she sent me a text this morning saying her parents are going to move back to their house in california because her grades are not good enough... once again her gpa is always over a 4.2... theres no way thats only because of grades right? They may be moving for other reasons, but it could very well be they believe her current environment isn't conducive to her getting good grades, especially if her grades have been slipping from where they used to be. Some parents take that very seriously - as mine did! - and consider a 4.2 not high enough to get into top tier colleges. In my family, anything less than an A was cause for questions. For sure, a family moving to another state has NOTHING to do with YOU.
melodymatters Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Isn't a 4.0 the highest one can get ? It was at every college i went to !
Trimmer Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Isn't a 4.0 the highest one can get ? It was at every college i went to ! Indeed... has grade inflation gotten so bad that they are expanding the top of the scale so it can inflate some more? Doesn't it start to get meaningless at some point?
norajane Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Indeed... has grade inflation gotten so bad that they are expanding the top of the scale so it can inflate some more? Doesn't it start to get meaningless at some point? In my high school there were Honors classes and Advanced Placement classes (you could elect to take a college recognized AP test after taking the class) where an A got you a 5.0 in that class. The courseload moved faster and was tougher than in the Regular or Essentials classes. I went to an inner city Chicago Public School, and that was standard throughout our high schools.
Trimmer Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 In my high school there were Honors classes and Advanced Placement classes (you could elect to take a college recognized AP test after taking the class) where an A got you a 5.0 in that class. The courseload moved faster and was tougher than in the Regular or Essentials classes. I went to an inner city Chicago Public School, and that was standard throughout our high schools. Understood... In "my day", we had AP and stuff, too, but everything still topped out at 4.0. Heck, my senior year, my math class was the equivalent of first semester college calculus, but I think it was assumed that college admissions counselors could see that a 4.0 with calculus and AP english took more work than a 4.0 with baseline courses... At some point, the actual number itself becomes an obstacle, because no matter what the scale, you have to look behind the number for what goes into it in order to compare students from different places... But what the heck, 4.2 is a good-looking number. Sorry for going off-topic. ______________________________________________________ "Why don't you just make 10 the top, and make 10 louder?" ... long pause ... "But these go to 11..."
Author john213 Posted February 11, 2008 Author Posted February 11, 2008 4.0 is the highest you can get in college but in high school you can take AP and honors classes which are 5.0 classes
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