lild3vilishboi Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 my gf broke up with me unsuspectingly..i remember on that day.. in the morning. she sent me a text msg.. sayin.. iloveyou baby, im proud of you.. then later that night.. we got into a stupid arguement again.. and then she was done with it.. we've been arguing lately over stupid little things.. but in the end we always love each other again.. and i guess she was tired of it that day.. she told me she didnt think we get along.. and it would work out.. so she left me.. a few days later.. i wanted to win her back.. kuz i really love her.. im in love with her.. i went to get her balloons.. flowers.. and a promise ring.. to promise that i wouldnt hurt her ever again.. i tried to surprise her.. on the day wen i tried to surprise her.. she came in.. and looked around.. speechless.. i started givin her the small things one by one..tellin her the msg behind it all.. she cried and cried.. and kept sayin she cant accept it.. and in the end.. i asked her 2 question.. "baby did u miss me.." shes replied.. yes.. then i asked.. "baby do you love me" she nodded.. then i asked her again.. "baby i love you.. do you still love me.." she cried.. and said.. "i love you too" .. and then that was it.. i called her the next day.. and we talked.. she said that she knows what she wants at the moment.. and its not a relationship with me in it.. but she said.. in the long run.. she doesnt know .. and told me that.. only time will tell her.. its been a couple days.. almost a week. i havent talked to her ever since.. since im tryin to give her the space she wanted.. im hurtin.. im suffering in pain.. but she seems find.. my frends told me she went to her school dance w/ friends and stuff.. do you think shes already forgotten me.. or shes already over me..we went out for a year.. and i knew her for 2 years.. so far.. she seems fine..i want to win her back.. but many have told me.. doing so right away.. wont work.. i was planning to wait a month.. til i talk to her again.. kuz some people told me that.. whithin a month.. most girls would reminisce about their ex bf.. and about the good things they shared with each other..can i get some advice on what should i do to win her back.. or how girls think at times like this.. its like.. shes tryin to get over me asap..
sedgwick Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 It's really tough to read something that's all one paragraph with every period doubled for some reason!
CalamitousJane Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Yes, it's hard to read. Paragraphs would help. Listen to Sedgwick, she knows what she's talking about. But I get it. Getting so close to you scared her, and that's all she's thinking of right now. Seems like you're both young. Give her some time and space to maybe miss you. But keep in mind that she may be not know what she wants or needs at this point in time. The most important thing you can do for yourself right now is to imagine being with someone who has the same strong feelings for you that she does, but imagine being with a person expresses those feelings by staying with you, working through disagreements, and becoming more and more committed to you. If she becomes capable of that, you'll know it. Meanwhile, the best thing you can do for both of you is to give you both space.
Author lild3vilishboi Posted February 11, 2008 Author Posted February 11, 2008 sorry. its my first time posting.. but yeah. the only thing im scared of is that, if i give her too much space, she'll forget about me, and not miss me, it has been about 5 days since we broke up. she seems fine so far.. shes been going out with her frirends a lot and hasnt called me yet. it feels like she wants me to let go but i want to win her back. i remember when we went out.. she couldnt stand not talkin to me for 1 day. sometimes she would call me wen im out because she misses me.. but at this moment and point.. it seems like shes too stubborn with her decsion about lettin go of our relationship.. shes not thinkin about me at all..i was thinking about not contacting her for around 3-4 weeks.. to see if she would call me whithin that period of time.. if she doesnt contact me at all.. should i try to call her..? many people told me that most girls, when they break up with thier bfs, think about all the good times that they had with each other and start missing them most after not contacting each other for about a month. i dont know if its true or not.. but im in love with this girl.. as much as it hurts me not to talk to her.. i want to try almost any method just to bring her back into my arms.
oppath Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Dude, there is no method to bring her back other than to move on with your life. She may realize she wants another chance. The best advice is not to contact her unless she contacts you and then keep things light and make it sound like you are having a lot of fun. The best thing to do is to actually have a lot of fun. So sign up for sailing lessons and join a soccer team and when she next calls, tell her "I've been having a blast, doing these fun things, meeting new people." It's not about manipulating her, however, it is about doing things you've always wanted to do. Do them for you. Seriously, get two new passions where you will meet new people. Take a photography class. You will be bettering and growing as a person and if she comes back, you will be in a better place to evaluate "do I want her? Or am I doing just fine on my own?" If you aren't actively trying to heal and grow as a person, then you won't be able to rationally decide if you want her, if she comes back. Most relationships don't work out and FEW reconciliations work. Your job, now that you are hurt and vulnerable, is to do something positive for yourself so if she asks you back, you aren't vulnerable and you assert your needs in the new relationship and you address what you felt the problems were so they aren't repeated. If you don't heal enough to do that, taking her back will be a disaster.
Author lild3vilishboi Posted February 11, 2008 Author Posted February 11, 2008 you have a point.. but the thing is. its hard to keep my mind off of her while the wound is still pretty fresh. i do want to move on for the time being.. but moving on is going to take a lot of time. i cant move on that fast.. we've been dating for a year. but.. i can keep myself occupied i guess. another thing is though... honestly, what are the chances of her contacting me within the month.? is it slim or likely? i was hoping for her to contact me in about a month so that i can start talkin to her again (hopefully) and then do somthin for her birthday. and then win her heart back slowly. another question that i have though is.. well.. i remember her sayin that she only wants to be friends with me and doesnt think she'll ever give me another chance.. do you think she can change her mind? shes pretty stubborn.. but people think differently when they fall in love right? or forgive the past over time? >_<
ninjaturtles Posted February 13, 2008 Posted February 13, 2008 Hey, coming from a lady, if she wants to be with you, she will come back to you. You have done enough for her already...she KNOWS how much you love her and want her back. Yes she may be sturborn, so am i..However, If someone I still had feelings for did all you did for her in a bid to reconcile, I would take him back. Even if i didnt take him back immediately, I would put him on hold. By that I mean make it known to him that I may consider getting back with him soon and I needed time to get my head straight etc. I would never offer to simply be friends with him because I would be afraid that he may move on etc. Having said that, no situation is the same. Every situation is unique in its own way. I can only advice you to live your life. Yes it is hard to let go of someone you love, but what does one do when all that could possibly be done has been done? (OK that was a confusing phrase..Im sure you get it though...lol). In summary, I know how you feel. Letting go is never easy. I hope she comes back to you, you sound very caring etc. In the meantime, I would advice you to giver he a lot of space. See, if it meant to be, it will be. I know that's a cliche, but its true. Get in touch with some sensible friends and try to live you life. Give her some space..
Author lild3vilishboi Posted February 13, 2008 Author Posted February 13, 2008 i know giving her space sounds good.. but isnt everyone afraid of the chances of her moving on while i give her like 1 month of space..i've been tryin really hard to live my life without her.. and im just scared that.. she might find another guy.. or be interested in them =/ and another fear that i have is that.. what if she doesnt call me =/ and i end up having to call her =/ i dont know how to talk to her and im scared that it'll be weird.. =/ its been exactly a week since the day we broke and talked =/ so far she seems perfectly fine with her life =/
JimMorrison Posted February 13, 2008 Posted February 13, 2008 If there is any chance of reconciliation, then by not contacting her wont make her forget about you. She has to feel what it is like without you in her life. If she cannot bear it, she will call somewhere down the road. There is no sure fire way to get her back, maybe a few tricks or manipulation, but there are plenty of ways to push her away, eg, by making her feel secure that she can have you at any time. The only way you would want her back is if she came back on her own decision, any other way would be short lived. And you let it known how much you love her, so leave the ball in her court
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