rtHawk Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 its been 3 weeks.... an end? don't know...he has blocked all communication and won't speak to me for another month... his behaviour is odd, cruel and controlling and yet I keep hoping he will redeem himself and come around with kindness and sensibillty/ I have no idea if we are done or in limbo... he won't communicate so the past 3 weeks have been sad, hurt, angry, lost and empty. I had already bought his V-day gifts and it has always been a special day for me. I don't know how to get past it...I am dreading it... how will you cope, deal with V-day??? I wish you all well!
Jmina Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 it is just another day. and isnt every day a reminder of what happened anyway? its not going to be as bad as you are building it up to be. also if anything it will make you stronger because WHEN you get through it you will find that it made a little bit stronger. do all the obvious things like staying away from places that will upset you, don't go down memory lane, stay busy with friends, an activity, or use it as a refelection day on YOURSELF not the relationship and work on what you have to gain. it will be fine. i got through my birthday, her birthday, christmas and new year, valentines is nothing. Goodluck Jmina
s_n_d Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 My family always goes out for lunch or dinner on Valentiines day so I think I should be alright that day. But I know the first place Ill be if I breakdown on that day.. The one and only Loveshack. I also have NO intentions whatsoever to contact my ex on that day. He doesnt deserve any form of affection after the way hes been treating me. I was watching The realworld sydney the other day and I believe the guy on there his name is Cohutta I think..Well he was on the phone with his grandfather and his grandpa told him something that really got to me. His grandpa said that you can see a persons true colors in the midst of a crisis. My exs true colors have definitely come out. Despite me being in the midst of a family crisis a few weeks ago, he has failed to be there for me. He is fully aware of what the family crisis was and yet NOTHING. He deserves NOTHING. HE should be contacting me on Valentines day. Im also going to be out all day Wednesday and Friday (days before and after Valentines day); My bestfriends have decided to take me and just go out and have a good time. Im so thankful for them. :) Valentines day is also going to be 15 days NC for me. Im definitely going to celebrate that accomplishment. I havent been able to do NC for this long before.
sedgwick Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 I'm going out of town with my best friend.
PrincessBOT Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 I will treat it like it is just another day.
Always Wrong Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 I'm going out of town with my best friend. You lucky, little, single, livin-the-life bum. Have a Happy St. V's Day
PrincessBOT Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 its been 3 weeks.... an end? don't know...he has blocked all communication and won't speak to me for another month... his behaviour is odd, cruel and controlling and yet I keep hoping he will redeem himself and come around with kindness and sensibillty/ I have no idea if we are done or in limbo... he won't communicate so the past 3 weeks have been sad, hurt, angry, lost and empty. I had already bought his V-day gifts and it has always been a special day for me. I don't know how to get past it...I am dreading it... how will you cope, deal with V-day??? I wish you all well! Sorry about the lol, it won't let me edit it, but hang in there rtHawk. I've had a lot more time to disconnect from the day, but I understand how hard it is. Try to keep busy and if possible focus on work and spend the day with family. I usually go see my 2 nephews (3 and 2 yrs old) when I get down. Playing with them for a couple of hours (they don't seem to ever run out of energy) is really uplifting and fulfilling.
LIVEWIRE Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Here's an idea: Why don't we all buy flowers and chocolates for OURSELVES.... and go out and pamper the hell out of ourselves. Ie, manicure, pedicure, massage, etc. Practice a full day of SELF LOVE!!!
PrincessBOT Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 That's a great idea, but it will be another day for me. I confident I will go to sleep wake and forget at least until halfway through the day when somebody brings it up. After that I will have to work to make it just another day, but I am have confidence I can do it.
richardcruz Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 well first off Im going to by flowers for my friend that has been godsent through my break up. Shes heard me complaining over and over and over and has been completely understanding of the whole thing. Shes coming out of a long relationship. She was dumped by her boyfriend. Hopefully this will make her feel a little loved on this day, and will show her how much I value our friendship. As for what I'm going to do to keep busy. I really don't know yet. Maybe I'll just go to sleep early so I can get it over with.
FLOWERYSTARS Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 In the past I have made valentines day a ME day when I have felt lonely and dealing with breakup. Nowadays, I make everyday a ME day and dont notice things like valentines. Feel the love.
ElvenPriestess Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 I know I've posted this before on other related threads. But my advice again, is a friend's night out day. Night. You know. Grab some drinks with friends, that's my tradition. It's fun and you forget entirely what the day is supposed to be for.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 its been 3 weeks.... an end? don't know...he has blocked all communication and won't speak to me for another month... his behaviour is odd, cruel and controlling and yet I keep hoping he will redeem himself and come around with kindness and sensibillty/ I have no idea if we are done or in limbo... he won't communicate so the past 3 weeks have been sad, hurt, angry, lost and empty. I had already bought his V-day gifts and it has always been a special day for me. I don't know how to get past it...I am dreading it... how will you cope, deal with V-day??? I wish you all well! How will I deal with V day Well I will walk on egg shells and hope I say and do the right things that day like all other days so my dream boat won't flip a nut on me. I will watch him prob drink a 12 pack or more and then become nasty and mouthy to me. I will spend most of the day cleaning the house and taking care of everything while he calls me stupid. I will then spend most of the night staring into the tv he likes total quiet after a cirtin hour and me to be in a cirtin place for the most part. I know all about nasty cruel controlling men believe me I do my advice be happy hes gone its not a fun road to walk down for any length of time! they 99% out of 100 do not redeem them selves! I'm not asking for pity with this post I'm just trying to show her what could very well be down the road with such a man. So maybe she can realize that its for the best if hes ended things hard as it may be now my advice go out on V day. And have fun who knows maybe you will met some one worth while.
Meaplus3 Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 its been 3 weeks.... an end? don't know...he has blocked all communication and won't speak to me for another month... his behaviour is odd, cruel and controlling and yet I keep hoping he will redeem himself and come around with kindness and sensibillty/ I have no idea if we are done or in limbo... he won't communicate so the past 3 weeks have been sad, hurt, angry, lost and empty. I had already bought his V-day gifts and it has always been a special day for me. I don't know how to get past it...I am dreading it... how will you cope, deal with V-day??? I wish you all well! If I were you I would try to look at it as just another day. Spend some time with a close girl friend or do something just for you. This will be my very first V-Day in a long time without a special someone so I know how you must be feeling. Hang in there. AP:)
CaliGuy Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 By going out on a date with someone new of course! Why should anyone's life be on hold due to someone else dumping them? Pffft. It's just a bump in the road, my friends. You will get over him or her when you're tired of feeling sorry for yourself and want to have a life. Until then, the only thing keeping you from being happy is, well, YOU.
sandflea Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 I think I'm going to take myself out for a nice dinner - perhaps some filet mignon, and a glass or two of red wine. Maybe I'll do it with a buddy - but realistically, I'll probably just go it alone. No, it won't be lonely. It's my time. Last year, for Valentine's day, I took the ex to a nice restaraunt. We were seated, we ordered wine, we smiled at each other. Then? She brought up and argument we'd had - oh - maybe 6 months prior. Couldn't let it go. I tried to change the subject again and again, and she became more hostile, more remote, more challenging. I eventually paid the tab and walked home alone. I mention this, dear LSers, because many many of you are looking back at what you had and longing for that. You know what? It wasn't all that great. I mean, sure, there was someone in your life, but isn't this the same someone that broke your heart, belittled your dreams, and made you cry? It's not bad to look back. But don't look back with rose colored glasses people. It was NOT that great. Yeah - you still have the dream of true love - that is WONDERFUL! Nourish it. You won't be alone forever. Fact is, the mere suggestion that you do want to love again shows that your heart is in the right place. It's working fine. Just keep your chin up and rest assured, when you least expect it - BAM! Same crazy feeling, etc. Love yourself, your life, your achievements, and your lonely heart. And don't make too big of a deal about the chocolates and hearts. It'll get better. Remember, it's work. Enjoy your down time. SF
PinkRibbon Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Ok a nice steak meal sounds great! Maybe that's where I'll go. Steak is mine and my daughters favorite meal. I am at the point with him that I love him but he would have send like a bazillion roses and cure cancer to get back in my good graces. I personally hope his Valentines Day bites the big one like his girlfriend dumps him or he gets sick. I had actually thought about sending him a gift. I found a website that will deliver a dead fish to someone. :D:D:D
sandflea Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Ok a nice steak meal sounds great! Maybe that's where I'll go. Steak is mine and my daughters favorite meal. I am at the point with him that I love him but he would have send like a bazillion roses and cure cancer to get back in my good graces. I personally hope his Valentines Day bites the big one like his girlfriend dumps him or he gets sick. I had actually thought about sending him a gift. I found a website that will deliver a dead fish to someone. :D:D:D ROTFLMAO!!!! Excellent! Dead fish and dead flowers... How about cat turds in a nice heart shaped box?!? Atta girl. That's the spirit! Make this valentine's day about your love for you, your daughter, your life and your future!
PinkRibbon Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 You know I hadn't thought about the cat turds. hahahahahah We have a cat that was crazy about my ex. I used to get him cards from the cat. Now I could get him a "gift" from the cat! hahahahahahahahahahahaha:D:D:D:D:D
dfreeman Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Last year, for Valentine's day, I took the ex to a nice restaraunt. We were seated, we ordered wine, we smiled at each other. Then? She brought up and argument we'd had - oh - maybe 6 months prior. Couldn't let it go. I tried to change the subject again and again, and she became more hostile, more remote, more challenging. I eventually paid the tab and walked home alone. No problem scootin right on by Valentine's Day for me either - I don't remember them being a great night for my ex and I either. She was totally quiet one year, distant and a little angry the next... Thanks SandFlea - this stands a chance of being my best Valentine's Day in the last 5 years!
sandflea Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 You betcha Freeman. I remember my ex being EXACTLY the same way. Silent and brooding and inconsolable. I've never seen someone react so angrily to the words "I love you". She's someone else's problem now. I'll bet she's brooding and angry at him as well too. Poor guy
Belkin Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 (edited) HUUUUUUGE student Valentine's day party for me! So I'm planning on enjoying myself, and hopefully I won't have to bump into her at all... Edited February 11, 2008 by Belkin
CaliGuy Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Once again I am reminded: 'Tis better to be single and lonely than married and miserable...'
Trimmer Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 I, too, will treat it like any other day. I think of it kind of like someone else's birthday or religious holiday. I don't pine away or get envious that someone else is celebrating, and I look forward to celebrating myself again when it's my time, but I'm not going to lose any sleep over it, or let it throw me off enjoying it as I do any other day. It's pretty much transparent to me. I hope everyone who has a reason to celebrate does cute, fun, romantic things, but it's just not my celebration this year. Be that as it may, I plan to have a great day anyway.
Author rtHawk Posted February 12, 2008 Author Posted February 12, 2008 ...I can't quote all of you ..but I can say THANK YOU!!!!!!!! to all of you for sharing, caring and being so gosh darn sweet. You gave me a smile, a giggle, a something to think about and some inspiration not to let it feel too badly. I think I should print this whole thread out to read and re-read. Cali guy...this is awesome... "The quickest way to failure is trying to please everyone all the time..." - Benjamin Franklin "Never make someone a priority in your life who only sees you as an option." - Unknown" You are all awesome.... Happy Valentines day to each of you.... I have a broken heart but it just got a little filled in by all of you! hugs RThawk
Recommended Posts